Netmums Sty-lee thread: Add your ticker here!

[morningpaper]

So let's chat and add our tickers. First person to say the word "arse" is disqualified.

How was your day?

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BABY NO 1 is FOUR YEARS and 245 days old
BABY NO 2 is 20 months and 12 days old

It has been 45 HOURS since I was last chased out of town with a PITCHFORK

I last OVULATED 3 days ago

It has been FOUR MONTHS since I last cleaned my Mooncup properly

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What a lovely idea for a thread! I love this place, although it's not the same as it used to be.. etc.

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Wife to my Prince with and ENORMOUS willy
Mama to my four ickle angels!

Bobsie - 1 Canister of gas and air
Trixie - 1 Canister of gas and air and 1 shot of pethidine
Boo - 2 Canisters of gas and air and 1 shot of pethidine
Gaylord - 3 Canisters of gas and air, 1 shot of pethidine and an episiotomy.

Daaahlings! What a lovely thread!
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It is 5 days, 22 hours and 44 minutes since we BURIED the cat

It is 2 days and 4 hours since the other cat SPEWED and SHAT on the carpet

It is 14 hours and 25 minutes since I VAXED the carpet

It is 13 hours and 42 minutes since I had to look at DPs athletes FOOT

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Oh this is too funny..

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It is 50 days to my bday
I haven't had a period for 14 months
I haven't been laid for 2 months
{{{{hugs}}}} to my sister Spoooky
It has been 13 years since I breastfed, but they still haven't gone down
It has been a week since my DS's last fruitshoot
I haven't had a chicken nugget for 3 days
It's been 7 minutes since my last coffee
I receive my next payment of Income Support on Wednesday

Flumby Bumpy oh what a lovely name you have - reminds me of DS3

It has been three weeks since my last confession
My FIL has been in my house for five hours
DS1 Bumpy Button is 6yrs 5months and two days
DS2 Angel Pangel is 4yrs 3months and 5 days
DS3 Fumby Pumpy is 2yrs 4months and 1 day

Fluffy blue ticker with glitter saying:
STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN

Hilarious!! I wonder if they're doing a return slagging somewhere? Probably on the 'Only post on here if you are fluffy and/or pink' board?
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It is EIGHT WEEKS since me and the hubby last had sex.

It is TWO WEEKS and THREE days since I first noticed my car is covered in bird shit

It is ONE HOUR and TEN minutes since I sniffed a random child's backside at nursery without being asked to, to check for the nursery staff who needed a nappy change

It is ONE HOUR and FOUR minutes since I sneezed in the car and had to drive home with snot on my face because I couldn't stop to wipe

It is FIFTY SIX minutes since I put dd down for nap, which means I have FOUR minutes before she wakes up. Probably.

My cheese sandwich is six minutes, ten seconds and three nano-seconds old.

My period has been here for three days 6 hours and twenty-five minutes

It has been six months since I last told anyone to fuck off loudly to their face

BIG PICTURE OF ME WITH MY ARMS ROUND HUSBAND WHO LOOKS LIKE HE PLAYS ALOT OF DARTS

did you know that every time someone takes the piss out of a NM-style ticker a little sparkly fluffy kitten dies?

shit! ):

I'm not sure if they are doing anything similar but whilst over there I did see a signature picture entitled "BUMSNET" with a lot of trolls in it.

This was seconds before I keeled over from inhaling too much virtual fairy dust and reading the word "hun" too many times.

Do you know, I've never actually visited this fabled netmums of which you speak. I think I might take a look.

ARGHHHHH!!!!! My eyes have imploded from the sugar pink overload!!!

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1 week since I last got any
3 bastard big ulcers since Friday
4 hours since I couldn't dodge ds's projectile poo.

I can't stop laughing. This is the best thread. Hunz, love and cuddly puppies to you all.

Love Angel, can't wait to swap Tena Lady stories. It makes my heart grow effulgent to know you are thinking of me and my pissing myself laughing problems. MWAH!!

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It has been ONE AND HALF HOURS since DS was sick in the swimming pool changing rooms.
It has been ONE HOUR TWENTY SEVEN MINUTES since I stood in it.
There are 3 HOURS AND FIVE MINUTES until DS's bed time and I can get out the gin.

Oooohhhh can i join in please my lovely jubbly sweethearts

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Ds1 - 6 cutie wutie yrs and 11 months
Dd1 - 22 cutie wutie months
Dd2 - 8 cutie wutie months

Its been 4 minutes since my dd2 did a cute fluffy fartsy warty in her sleep

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i dont think i can keep this up for long im starting to feel sick

Actually, I'm really starting feel deprived that I can't have a signature with a pic of David Tennant licking something now.

meh.

david tennant not licking but just as good lol

OMG you'll never gess wot my darlin DS just did

He did his first ever poo poo on the big boy loo!

Luv you babes

Darling DS is 3 years, 2 months and 5 days
Darling hubby is 41 years 1 month and 19 days

12 days until my court hearing
13 days until I start my community service

Wish me luck - I'm going over to take a peek.

COME BACK MRS JETSON - DONT DO IT

What a brilliant thread I am laughing so much I cant type

I love you all your all so great I feel like you are the bestest of friends!!!!! hugs and kisses
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it is 13 hrs till I get up again

15 mins till finding the corkscrew

4 hours until me and my hunny try to make angel no 4

insert vagualy familiar pic of really pretty girl in the pretense its me

OMG - I might be pg and losing my marbles BUT that was awful and BRIGHT! Plus it took me forever to work out what the hell to do.

There did seem to be a couple of threads that are over here too.........

hahahahahahahahaha just seen a thread on netmums where we are called mumsnuts

I know thats cause theyre all copycats. Bet you they dont have a smells like teen spirit thread

www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/viewtopic.php?t=141754&highlight=mumsnet

beware the tickers n pictures

haha I went to look to and I found a ticker called "our little reason for being" I know its bitchy to laugh but I cant help it

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its to long since I joined momsnet

Its 12 seconds since I realised I could care about tickers

its 10 seconds since I found out I wouldnt know what to put on them

Oh you ladeees are sooo funny, you really make me larf - got to go, must get to Iceland before it closes I'm all out of prawn rings. Love you honey bunch, big hugs with tongues XXX Shazza

DD1 is 8 years, 3 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 4 hours and 27 seconds she likes Bratz dolls, body piercing and strongbow cider

DD2 is 2 years, 4 months, and oh sod it my ticker is not working anyway she enjoys going begging down the pub and has a permanently snotty nose

DH has done a runner with a thai lapdancer but I know he will be back 'cos we are soulmates me and 'im oh yes which is why I let him make those videos of me giving him a blow job.