My colleague has twat me over the head with a courgette..

[DidYouBINmysushiyouTWAT]

Too vague?

I think you should change your name!

My 16 yo DD came downstairs just as I was explaining Fridge Cunt to DH and just about lost the plot; granted, we're in the US and 'cunt' over here is The Word Wot Shall Not Be Spoken Ever.

Not that that stops me from using it with vim and vigour, especially when certain deformed Cheez Doodles politicians are on the TV or when I read about someone being so cunty as to hog an office fridge! She may have to just get used to it.

Cunting brilliant!

Yy to the door opening swap and faux wee samples

Both neatly bypass theft/vandalism issues for OP.

Re pee samples you all take turns to leave one labeled sample per morning...must be an awfully contagious uti about (right next to her food - too obvious? )

Woohoo found u again! Blatant placemark in anticipation for Monday

Here to help carve - I don't a half do a good courgette cock. And I've brought some week old kiwi fruit for the balls.

Yeah I found you and the cunty fridge thief!

Get the entire office to call in sick, claiming that their egg sandwiches gave them a dodgy gut because they couldn't be kept in the fridge...

I love this thread, looking forward to tomorrow!

I am looking forward to going in tomorrow

The OP has achieved the impossible:

She's made loads of people wish their weekends away and look forward to Monday!

PS: The Daily Mail are cunts

Waves at the Daily Mail journos lurking

Cheesemaker you are my idol

Yay!

It's nearly Monday!

Never before in the history of mankind Mumsnet have so many insane place markers concerned citizens, looked forward to a workday Monday......

If the fridge is working again tomorrow after its er breakdown, I think you should fill it to bursting point, with the food of your choice, after she has finished for the day...I hear courgettes are cheap at this time of year!

Oh thank goodness I found you all again!

Do I need to buy myself some popcorn for tomorrow's instalment?

I might just need to phone in sick so I can follow it.
I won't get a chance to read until about 12.30.

It took me far, far too long to work out that this was the follow-up. I thought it was a coincidence And I bloody quoted courgette cock in thread one.

Cunt cunt cunt Daily Mail readers have shit for brains.

🍱

I hear the Daily fail are too busy writing about cunting weather and beach peodophiles. The cunts