Overheard on the bus

[AdventuringAbout]

Man to partner: It's a lovely day for a walk in the park...
Woman: It is, but there are lots of other things we must do today.

Man: like what?
Woman: well, for one thing, I need to check all the use-by dates of things in the fridge.

Suddenly my day of nappy changes and playing trains seemed much less dull

Any good eaves-dropping round your way?

Three Of course you would need to know what ex and her new bf are like . . . your bloke in the queue may be less awful.

True they could be terrible people. Still the whole why shouldn't we get off our tits on coke and weed with our 4 year old in the house (hopefully not room?) didn't fill me with that warm feeling about him either.

Three they probably deserved each other and if they did not have a child I would say better they were together making two miserable people instead of four!

A few years ago DH and I were sitting in a cafe when the three women, aged? 25ish, had a conversation about Rome. One of them was being taken there for a long weekend by her boyfriend. One of the other women told her "I've been to Rome and my advice is, don't bother with the Sistene Chapel, cos it's shit".

Dh and I were and then she added "I could paint better than that"

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan She had probably looked at the floor . . . there's some pig-ignorance around, isn't there?

alltoomuch - wonderful!

Have told this story on here before, but it does deserve repetition. A bit of background for those not from Ireland. In Dublin, D4 is an area full of fairly posh people - think Chelsea and Darina Allen is the Irish equivalent of Delia Smith.

Was in Dublin GPO with sister, two D4 ladies in front of us, both pretty well to do, expensive jewellery and hair beautifully coiffured.
Lady One; " Did you see Darina last night, she had some amazing recipes for duck.."
Lady two: "I love Darina, but she's an awful cunt for the butter"

Now a favourite family catchphrase.

I over heard the most amazing humdinger of a an argument between my next door neighbour and his wife a couple of summers ago. It was amazing and went on for hours (it was summer and all the back window were open, there was no avoiding hearing what was going on) As it first started to gear up I was feeling a bit sorry for my neighbour, they were eating and she was screaming at him non stop about something he had bought for his work and then went into shouting 'What do you want from this relationship!' over and over not stopping long enough for him to reply. She finally left enough of a space and he just said 'Some peace and a quiet life'. The tide quickly turned though as I discovered his reputation round the village as a ladies man was not unwarranted. She started shouting about how he had only gone to a couple of the counselling sessions after the last affair and started reeling off the names of four different woman he had been unfaithful with. She finally left him last summer.

Not quite an over heard one this but a family came to the riding school where I work last summer to have a ride while on holiday, they where from London and we are home counties.
'Why are the horses in that countryside area?' The boy aged 10 asks pointing to the horses in a field.
'Do you put them there to cut the grass?'
I honestly didn't think the myth of the city kid was real. Holidaying kids often have lots of questions about farming and life in small villages but I had never come across anything like that before, the teen helper who the boy was talking to didn't know where to even start!

This is a brilliant thread. Been following since yesterday, and just caught up.

Usedtobe...., I'm another one who was a bit, erm, let's sat unimpressed with the Sistine chapel. sorry andrewofgg

I can't have been one of the three 25 ish year olds though as I only saw it about 10 years ago when I was 36 and haven't admitted that until now. I loved Rome and St. Peter's basilica and was very moved to tears when I saw the Michelangelo's Pieta.

Sorry.

Say and Sistene -stupid autocorrect!

Whitershadeofpale actual LOL! DH LOL'd too! I'm such a child.

Two female cafe employees chatting while cafe was quiet....

A: so you doing anything tonight?
B: no not really. I might let mike get some leg over, so I need to go home and shave the badger.

I was on the bus with my 5 yr old and she had a balloon from Giraffe which she was very excited about. But it suddenly burst with a loud bang and I heard a few shocked noises from other passengers. I automatically stood up and turned round to all the old ladies behind me to say 'don't worry it was a balloon!'

You and your DH can join me in getting the evil looks wee

I've just asked that this thread be saved in Classics. Much too funny to let it disappear

ChristmasMoaner1 - that's going to be my code for sex now.....will ask DH if he would like me to shave the badger tonight !

Morning all,

We've moved this to classics now

more please people, this is keeping me very entertained at work.

A few months ago there was a very drunken argument going on outside the house, which dd and I could hear very clearly when we muted the TV Much argy-bargy between two women culminating in; "you're no mother of mine!"
"Well you're a shite daughter"
"I'm fucking disowning you, YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER ANYMORE"
Woman three pipes in with "Of course not you daft cow, she's your sister."
"Yeah well that's true." Long pause. "And your bf is a crap fuck"
SCREEEEEECH.

One I heard decades ago, as will appear from the first line, and it sill puzzles me:

A: Sorry, can you change a ten-shilling note?
B: No, sorry, it's Thursday.

I had an appointment with aconsultant gynaecologist, who had a load of students working with him and his team. Waiting for the clinic to start and they're all discussing a night out some of them had had at a sushi place. One mentions caviar.

Student 1: what is caviar anyway?
Student 2: its what you get in the chip shop in batter isn't it?
Student 1: but this was black and not cooked?
Student 2: they must just add food colouring then, to make it more expensive looking

Andrew - having worked in retail, and assuming half-day Wednesday, I'm guessing a banking issue.

"No, sorry, it's Thursday, and the bank is shut on Wednesday afternoon, so we're a bit short of change and the boss will shout at me if I give away all the single shilling coins. I'm not allowed to give change for the meter until someone's been to the bank."

I'm firmly decimal, though, so that's a guess.

Very proper sort of man recounting a conversation with his wife: "And I said to her, "Look at that huge rack! Can we pick it up & take it home?" And she said, "Umm, I think it's attached...""

They were discussing deer antlers... That conversation was the first time I'd heard them referred to as a rack. I dug my fingernails into my hand to stop myself giggling or commenting that I wouldn't be impressed if DH started pointing out huge racks to me & wanting to take them home!

MrsHathaway You are a genius. Of course.