Overheard on the bus

[AdventuringAbout]

Man to partner: It's a lovely day for a walk in the park...
Woman: It is, but there are lots of other things we must do today.

Man: like what?
Woman: well, for one thing, I need to check all the use-by dates of things in the fridge.

Suddenly my day of nappy changes and playing trains seemed much less dull

Any good eaves-dropping round your way?

In the bakery aisle in a supermarket, a young mum with a small child:
"Will you fucking stop it, if you put any more bite marks in those bread rolls I'm going to have to buy them!"

Walking in the city, behind two young women... one says earnestly to the other: 'I'm so sorry I wet your bed!'

My sister and I overhead an elderly guy moaning while being dragged round the shops "why are you always dragging me to Marks and Suspenders!"

Then again my sister once asked for a 'McSlurry' in McDonald's by accident. The guy looked really bewildered.

Not strictly an overhead but interesting all the same. The story was told to me by my French teacher so I am paraphrasing a bit. She was in a supermarket queue behind a man 30/40 ish who was behind a young mum whose small daughter was repeatedly pushing her trolley into an elderly lady in front.
The elderly lady asked the child to stop but mum replied that she was bringing up her daughter to do 'what she wants when she wants' so she will stop if she wants to.
The young man behind, picked up a jar of jam from the conveyor belt, opened it and emptied it over the head of the Mum, informing her that his mother had brought him up to do 'what he wants when he wants' too.
Everyone around laughed loudly as the embarrassed mum stormed out.

Overheard, standing at the school gates waiting for our 6 year olds.

Child: Some children say Father Christmas is not real and our parents buy all the presents. Is this true?
Mum: What do you think?
Child: He must be real because you and daddy couldn't possibly afford all those presents.

Two young girls.

1: Yea I was chucked ahht of Greggs innit
2: Why?
3: The cops said I was racially abusive and I never. I just told the P**i twat to fuck off.

(decades ago when I was a teenager) My girlfriends & I were waiting in the queue outside the cinema to see "Romeo & Juliet" (Ahem the 1968 version!) a girl waiting in the queue behind us piped up "what happens in the end?" half the queue turned round to look at her - she really meant it

Leaving the crematorium after my uncle's funeral I was behind my Dad (92) and his sister (89).

Dad said loudly to his sister 'Ah well - 4 down, just us 2 to go'.

Teenager: look at that squirrel on the telephone wire!!! How is it not being electrocuted?

Friend: they’re coated.

Teenager: they coat squirrels!?

Hilarious thread