ridiculous topics for marital rows

[whendotheyleavehome]

OK, so I caught myself getting cross at hubby when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight? Other examples please....or am I a lone witch?...

Ellie b - I can relate. My DP is always forgetting his cards, money, keys, phone. It drives me into a RAGE eg when I have arranged an evening out and he has to get dd home, only to call me saying has forgotten keys. Or the time I had to work late and he was on way to airport without enough money for train ticket and called me making it my problem

Only really big row was on the hottest day of the year when DH decided to put up the deluxe wooden garden play chalet he had bought at great expense (which DD never played in) and I came out to tell him I was off to gym with 2yo DD and he said it way my fault the roof didn't fit and I'd "put him off".
I said the roof didn't fit because it was 36 degrees and the wood had probably warped.

We didn't speak for hours afterwards.

The said play chalet has now been converted into a bijou chicken house, they love it.
The roof fits fine - and didn't come off in the hurricane!

walking past the bin to deposit rubbish on the table throwing dirty nappies on the floor AND LEAVING THEM (actually that last one i think he deserves a flaming for)

Mine does this, and even more infuriating, often puts them NEXT to the bin. WHY?!

textbook

I have had this row with a friend - I used the logic of 'If shooting is a sport, then darts is a sport' which basically turned it into an even bigger, louder and more passionate row about whether shooting was a sport, which widened to incorporate whether inclusion in the Olympics was a defining factor and then a few offshoot rows about other Olympic-related matters. Fortunately we were pissed, so we made up in order to pool our hungover resources the next day to get ourselves breakfast.

(Disclaimer: I know smoking is bad and wrong and evil) but LIGHTERS! Dh always walks off with them then accuses me of 'losing' them, I chose the most camp glittery pink lighter thinking he wouldn't possibly 'borrow' it, where is it now? in his coat pocket with 6 million others arggh

I share your arggh ladybird. I know some people rummage through their partners' pockets for illicit evidence - I just hunt for MY lighters and MY cigs (and on occasion the landline phone and remote which he has carted off to work with him too...)

Ladybird and stinkingbishop - dh used to have a very bad habit of walking off with both sets of car keys in his pocket. I tried sparkly, girly key rings, but nothing worked. It got better after the day when I made him come home on the train, from London to Southend, in order to give me my keys back - because I needed the car to take the cat to the vet.

Our worst rows take place when playing Scrabble. DP insisted that 'japed' isn't a real word and that I totally made it up. He stated that he is sick and tired of my medieval words which can only be heard in an episode of Game of Thrones. Errrrr...

Very funny...what are they like ?
Total cavemen...

I recall a horrendous row whilst existing in the dark hinterland that is life with a 3 month old baby with colic and as yet undiagnosed reflux (for context).

I accused DH of closing his eyes for an un-necessarily long time following on from a yawn and a stretch. I also insisted that he was fake sneezing in order to engineer more 'eye closing opportunities'. I was a screaming banshee demanding to know what would happen to PFB if we both took it upon ourselves to close our eyes 'willy nilly'

DH was then stupid enough to point out that that is what happens when we are both asleep, and it was all the touch paper I needed:

Sleep? SLEEP? DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK I REMEMBER WHAT FUCKING SLEEP IS?

Rinse and repeat.

Handbagcrazy, you're both wrong :-P Christmas Day is the first day of Christmas. The Twelve Days end on the 5th, which is deccy down day. Sorry :)

MYLatest I started putting knives blade down in the dishwasher after a friend told me about reading in the paper about the second small child in a matter of weeks who had been killed by falling on a blade up knife. IIRC the judge at the inquest had done a sort of "something muct be done" speech.

We get through 2 dishwasher baskets a year because of this, but I meekly cough up for a new one every time,

These are making me feel better . A recurring row at ours is dh coming home late. Well not late but on time. Eg, saying he'll be home by 10 and coming in at 10, when quite clearly it should be 9.30.

Another example from the other week. Me cooking a Sunday roast, dh needing to do some car stuff .
me: dinner at 5
dh: great ill be home by 4.30. Strolls in at 4.25.
Over dinner: dh: why are you looking like you want to chop my head offthat?
Me: Why? WHY??? You ignorant shit why were you late home? Is it coz you'd rather play with your than see us, your family? I needed help.
Dh: er I wasn't late, I was on time.
Me:

All this over the dcs heads asthey chew quietly (they know better).

Arrrgghhh. Ridiculous!!!

car!

Um. He came home when he said he would. If you wanted him home at 9.30 why didn't you tell him?

In his and my world, "by" a time means "not after" that time. It doesn't mean "precisely half an hour before" that time

I'm lost on the time one too.

Given that this thread about ridiculous topics for rows, I read this as minesapint telling the story against herself, because she knows she was being unreasonable to give her dh a row for this.

Oh good point!

minesapint I'm with you. You want him to KNOW by the powers of mind-reading, that you would actually rather he got in early, because he SHOULD WANT TO.

So by being on time- he has failed.

Utterly unreasonable but I get it :)

I suppose so, but it felt like a very present and current position

Dh and I had a blazing row 2 weeks ago that lasted all day, including on the way to our counselling appointment (not relationship counselling, although the counsellor has suggested it ...), all through our appointment, all through a heated lunch in a nearby cafe and until we went to bed. I just brought it up in relation to this thread and he's still annoyed.

My crime? I closed the bedroom door too quickly in his dream. IN HIS DREAM. In reality I closed the door slowly, as per his instructions, which he issued the night before.

Just to update, I brought up other posters POVs regarding when we should start celebrating Christmas. His response - "so even when they don't agree with you, I'm still wrong? Bloody mumsnet." He then wandered off muttering something about "that bloody site.... Stupid Christmas tree... And it's only bloody April..."

Ah well, it'll all be forgotten come November and we'll have the same row as always

Love this thread.

We have an ongoing sort of Mexican stand off about the emptying of the bin. I can't tell you how many arguments have been had over that pile of rubbish in the kitchen.

Ever seen that episode of the Simpsons when no-one wants to be the one to cave and empty the overflowing bin and Bart resorts to stapling a banana peel to it? It's like that.

We have even had arguments about the fact that we have arguments about the bin and still he won't empty it when it is too heavy for me to do so.

There was once several hours of tears and tantrums over the necessity of a carpet cleaner. I used it ONCE to clean the furniture.

There have been several near misses lately.

This afternoon, one of the dc asked me who was the Russian president. I replied 'Vladimir Putin' and from the far reaches of the living room comes DP's voice exclaiming 'CORRECT!'

Yeah, thanks. You prick.

Neither of the teen girls we have in the house understand why this makes me so pissed off.

Seriously??? I let him win a lyrics argument for no good reason? Aaaargh! I'm going to google search this and throw it in his face. for the tip.