ridiculous topics for marital rows

[whendotheyleavehome]

OK, so I caught myself getting cross at hubby when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight? Other examples please....or am I a lone witch?...

moonbells that is bizarre. We had one too when DH put too much nutmeg in a fish pie for Xmas Eve. Just became the tipping point as we had 14 house guests for Xmas and it was the only meal he was doing and I had baby twins and PND and his DM was driving me even more bonkers and he never bloomin' cooks but apparently I 'never let him'...BANG! And then festive simmering...

Your lovemeg is soooo sweet. I may steal!

The Nutmeg of Love - brilliant.

If someone is 'extra nutmeg' it's our code for 'mad drunk, stay away'.

We were on holiday and an annoying girl latched on to us and her boyfriend would just leave her with us and bugger off.

One night in the bar she ordered a Brandy Alexander. It came and she complained that it didn't have enough nutmeg on it. The waiter apologised and gave the nutmeg another little shave.

She complained it still wasn't enough (she was very drunk, in case you hadn't guessed). He gave it another little shave. She started insulting his cocktail skills.

He threw the nutmeg and grater at her and stormed off. She grated so much it looked like a glass of cream under a mound of sawdust.

Then she drank it and was ranting drunkenly at us with it all over her top lip.

She'd forgotten her purse, too.

We had a long-running disagreement over whether black was the worst colour to wear in hot weather (me) or the second-best colour after white (him). We used to pretend to joke about it in front of other people but underneath we were both furious.

I've just seen that MNHQ have helpfully provided me with a picture of a manatee (number 3) to convince my DH they exist.

It's not good MNHQ, I have already tried showing him pictures, and he said "Yeah, they can make films of people running away from dinosaurs as well, but that doesn't make the T-Rex real. They've photoshopped that, it doesn't exist."

Even the collective power of MN is not going to win this one for me

My husband and I had a stupendous row when attempting to re-enter the country about who was going to hold whose passports. He maintained it was simpler and faster if he held them both. I informed him at top volume that this was tantamount to rewinding the whole history of female emancipation and that I wasn't a fucking appendage to him.

We had a very similar discussion - wasn't quite a row, but there was a lot of glaring. DH insisted that the passport checkers wanted them all (us and the kids) to be presented together if we were travelling together. What a load of bollocks tosh. I refused to hand it over. I'd trust DH with my life, but I'm not handing over my passport!

loving the fact this thread is on buzzfeed

He picked mine! MINE!!!!! [childish pride at my failed marriage being thought worthy of global laughter]

Not even married yet (been together 10 years) and we are arguing over weddings, I would be happy with £45 broom cupboard and 2 witnesses job, he wants church do.

We are skint, have 4 kids, been together 10 years and he has done it twice before, I haven't ever been marries surely it should be me putting my parts on for a flash do?

Me and my ex once had a massive row over the correct lyrics to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up.

Not only did we argue about the lyrics but the order they came in.

He slept in the spare room for two nights after that

Whether the iPod speaker dock was paused or switched off.

My personal favourite, would a Russian dog and an English dog be able to communicate as well as an English dog and another English dog.

He also once tried to evict me and my dog from our tent on a camping holiday as I would "never understand" the friendship he has with his dog! (Quite a lot of beer had been consumed at this point!)

DIY. If there is DIY to be done, I not only leave the room, I leave the house entirely. For the sake of our marriage.

Had a massive fight two days before Christmas over quantity of food. He always over-caters and we always have tonnes of left overs. (For some reason I cook 95% of the time but Christmas is shared - bad idea). So he is tasked with buying meat and sent packing with strict instructions to not buy too much.

Apparently I was being completely U in having a meltdown over the fact that he returned with turkey, gammon and beef in a combined weight of 10kg of meat for 10 people! Even when I pointed out to him that this was equivalent to 1kg per person (including 15 month old) he refused to believe me!! Still get angry thinking about it...

Many a row over why DH feels the need to stir his soup 527 times before putting the spoon to his mouth. It irks me so much I'm sure he does it on purpose now. Feel myself twitching before we've even sat down!

We argued last week if carrots should be kept in the fridge or not. This was caused by a bag or carrots that had gone mouldy from being left out....BY HIM!

We Had an absolute humdinger about custard. Hence why it will always be called "Fucking custard" in our house.

This tgread has mat Buzzfeed

made ffs

I wonder how many rows have not been allowed to flourish to their full potential due to the wonder of the internet.

Rick Astleys lyrics... Google it or sleep in spare room for 2 nights.

Supermarket shopping... Order it on line or throw spring onions at heads.

SarahAndFuck he can't argue with David Attenborough surely?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=nhd8Yr_u_18&autoplay=1

would a Russian dog and an English dog be able to communicate as well as an English dog and another English dog?

I actually want someone doggy sciency to tell me the answer to that one. I'd ask DH for his view, but I can sense that this is one that could go all the way....

What was your view mummylemming? I am clearly in the 'no they could not communicate as well' camp as CLEARLY one would be barking in Russian and the other in English! ...surely?

This is what dogs say:

Hahahaha Panzee that's great

SarahandFuck- tell him you need to go on holiday here

I had an argument with soon to be husband over him lying that he had not drained the mince for the bolognese - I knew he had not drained it but he kept insisting he had - I became irrate with his lying and refused to eat the meal.

The worst was when I abandoned him in london - we were leaving a party and I gave him the 10 minute warning of 'get your things together, the cab is on its way'. In said cab, 10 minutes into our journey, he pipes up 'I've forgotten my phone'. As i had told him of our leaving and instructed to gather belongings, this flew me into a rage. He wanted to go back for it, I didnt, we could not comprimise so I promtly told the cabbie to stop the car and threw him out in the middle of a suburb of london - stranded. Next morning we met at London Bridge and had a full blown shouting row on the platform - he thought i was 'unreasonable', I though he should take care of his things as he is a fucking adult. We travelled home in seperate carriages of the train and didnt speak for 5 days. The funny thing is - the phone which he had lost - was in his back pocket the entire time. Idiot.

Had a terrible 3 day stand-off with DP once about whether darts is a real sport. It literally ended in tears (his), and darts is now a verboten topic in our house.