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Original poster

ridiculous topics for marital rows

572 replies

whendotheyleavehome · 02/04/2014 09:23

OK, so I caught myself getting cross at hubby when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight? Other examples please....or am I a lone witch?...

OP posts:
stinkingbishop · 05/04/2014 17:01

I have just flounced because DP walked off after only watching this Youtube clip I was playing him for ten seconds. Basic lack of respect for my feelings, natch.

RabbitFromAHat · 05/04/2014 17:05

It's amazing how something small can do it. I doubt my now partner has ever even heard of Kant either and still we manage a billion times better. Except we argue about rugby training strategies. Grin

Oh the passports thing would drive me mad limitedperiodonly to the extent that I would POSSIBLY surreptitiously steal them and then let him take the blame for it, and make him pay to replace them. Bwahaha.

RabbitFromAHat · 05/04/2014 17:42

Also this thread has made me feel much more normal. Grin My ex was convinced I was insane. The time we were on holidays when he sent me to bed for beating his family at trivial pursuit was a particular highlight.

RabbitFromAHat · 05/04/2014 17:43

Therefore CountessofRule you are my MN twin!

BeerTricksPotter · 05/04/2014 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

limitedperiodonly · 05/04/2014 18:00

Gobbolinothewitchscat I'm with you on the H in whale - I thought 'oh, is she Scottish, before you said that. I'm from Essex btw. We don't do that, that I will allow it.

But not on the toothbrushing. You are wrong. It's a soft application of the brush to each tooth, angled upwards or downwards according to top or lower set, to the count of four. No scrubbing.

This is the law.

Plaza · 05/04/2014 18:12

We rarely row, but The biggest row we're ever had was over a pie...

He'd made one and asked me to check whether it was cooked, I took a small piece of pastry off the top, escalated into crying (me) and storming out of the house (DH).

Another biggie was over whether we would have margarine or butter in our sandwiches if we owned a cafe...

Another was over why the car was slowing down (we were driving up a slight hill)

piscivorous · 05/04/2014 19:00

Many years ago when DH and I were young professionals we lived in a third floor flat. We had a minor tiff about something neither of us can really remember but I became incensed, removed one of my rather nice 1980s stiletto shoes and hurled it at him. He ducked, the shoe sailed over his head, straight through the window (broke the glass) and out into the street below. It was then clearly his fault that the window was broken and my shoe was lost as he had ducked and the lazy fucker refused to go downstairs and retrieve the shoe. I still hold him responsible for it after 30 years

37jan · 05/04/2014 19:51

2 NIGHTS AGO WAS LOOKING FOR SOME BANANAS I HAD PUT IN THE FREEZER, TO GO BLACK SO I COULD MAKE 3 INGREDIANT COOKIES, THOUGHT I WAS GOING MAD, HE'S STANDING WATCHING ME. EVENTUALLY, I SAID DID YOU THROW THEM OUT, AND HE JUST STARTED LAUGHING FIT TO BUST SAYING YOU DON'T THINK I'M EATING BLACK BANANAS DO YOU . ERRRK

mckenzie · 05/04/2014 20:07

Dh and I are going to have an almighty row in about 4 weeks time when he comes home from work one day and finds a trampoline in our back garden. I've accepted his decision to not have one for the last 6 years but now i've decided to get the DCs one anyway. Wink

Sprink · 05/04/2014 20:14

Just remembered a friend who broke up with someone because he broke the spaghetti in half before putting it in the pot to boil.

BeerTricksPotter · 05/04/2014 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phantomnamechanger · 05/04/2014 20:24

37jan what's the recipe with frozen bananas please?

TallyGrenshall · 05/04/2014 20:40

I had a huge row with DP when we were building the cot. He wasn't listening to me so it was taking forever and I snapped.

Lots of swearing, I threatened him with the allen key and told him to stop speaking to me like a child and then flounced off like a child

Hours later I went back and finished the cot myself because he couldn't do it and had declared it broken instead of using his brain.

All subsequent flat packs have been built peacefully using the system of 'Tally knows how to do it, just pass her screws and hold stuff'

AOTmummy · 05/04/2014 21:29

Had a row about milk... My children are much younger than my partner's and he was trying to be helpful by making up 3/4 bottles and storing them in the fridge for me. I tried to explain that you have to make them fresh as and when needed. He told me I was being irrational and he would phone up his female friend who would put me in my place... Hmm Shock

HalfWomanHalfCake · 05/04/2014 21:48

Stinking Bishop that video is GENIUS. I just cried watching it Grin

zanz1bar · 05/04/2014 21:48

Sellotape

I now have my own Sellotape that I hide at the back of the cupboard.

deakymom · 05/04/2014 21:51

ooh tally reminded me about the cot my ex mil bought us one for my daughter he wanted to build it right away i said no put it in the nursery first he refused we shouted i called him an arrogant twat i should never have got knocked up by he went ballistic and said if it wasn't for him i wouldn't HAVE a baby (true obviously but i never planned on having children!) finally i just ignored him and carried on painting the lounge (a week or so after giving birth because he painted it when he was pissed and wrecked it!) anyway i sulked and refused to give him any help whatsoever he finally finished and could not get it out of the lounge door into the nursery..............he left i undid it and put it where it belongs!

theelephantknownasnell · 05/04/2014 22:24

We once had a row over cooking a turkey crown, dh said if I didn't cook it he'd divorce me, I didn't cook the damn thing for the principle of it. We're still married 9 years later.

Dh accepts he was being a cock.

slithytove · 05/04/2014 23:02

I nominated this thread for classics without realising it was already in it Blush I feel like arguing with myself

Panzee · 05/04/2014 23:29

This might be my favourite thread ever. I really want to know how people can fall out over the nine times table though. I need closure!

DoJo · 05/04/2014 23:39

I agree - some people have left out what I would consider significant details.

Also, is anyone up for a parallel thread where we can replay some of these arguments? A few of them have had me going 'Well, I can see his/her/their point actually - I think you were wrong!'.... Grin

LadyPenelopeCreightonWard · 06/04/2014 01:18

I'm crying with laughter at Gobbolino's husband sneaking up on her in the shower Grin

My parent's argue about the first song played at their wedding. The title has my DM's name in it. However, my DF insists it's a different song with a slightly different name in the title, despite DM pointing out the entire reason they chose the song in the first place was because it was her name!

SaggyAndLucy · 06/04/2014 01:21

CORNERS!
DP can't paint, hoover, strim, paste, mow or butter corners! We live in perpetual circles of order amidst edges of overgrown badly decorated chaos!
It drives me insane!

Terrortree · 06/04/2014 02:05

Divorce rates in Britain would significantly lower if IKEA fucked off. Monumental rows have been had in its car park [and I'm in the 'never in public' mentality]

But our silliest was about HRH The Queen. Fuck knows what she caused, but it took us days to laugh about it.