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Original poster

ridiculous topics for marital rows

572 replies

whendotheyleavehome · 02/04/2014 09:23

OK, so I caught myself getting cross at hubby when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight? Other examples please....or am I a lone witch?...

OP posts:
Knackeredmum13 · 02/04/2014 10:46

We had a big row once over Buffalo mozzarella . He claimed I was being ridiculous to think it was made with milk from actual Buffaloes! My best friend got involved in that one and took DHs side. They were both so smug I wanted to lamp them both.

DH also told me the other day that he'd never heard of the name Millicent and I'd clearly made it up!

Sceptimum · 02/04/2014 10:46

This morning we argued over crime statistics - whether 4 murders of students in 4 months in one city was odd or just there were so many murders the likelihood of a student being murdered each month was just numbers - and ended up having to get on Google to find out who was right. At 7am. Over the baby's head as I fed her.

Florabeebaby · 02/04/2014 10:50

The sewerage system. Yeah. It ended up with me going to bed in a strop.

Sleepyhoglet · 02/04/2014 10:53

I think that every Scottish voice in animated films is Ewan macgregor. A painful Christmas watching how to train your dragon.

wearingpurple · 02/04/2014 10:55

I said I wouldn't want to live in the poshest part of town because it was too quiet and lacked a community feel.

DH thought I was mad to think this and the discussion escalated to raised voices (rare in our house).

We are not, and will probably never be, in a position to move to this area, even if I liked it.

IPokedABadgerWithASpoon · 02/04/2014 10:56

Wall lights. The house we're attempting to buy only has wall lights in one room so we were looking at ones we could get to put in there. We have had 2 difficult pregnancies, the sleep deprivation of 2 new babies, ill health, bereavements, planning a wedding...nothing has brought us as close to splitting up as wall lights.
We still haven't decided and I dare not bring it up again. We'll just have to sit in the dark.

wearingpurple · 02/04/2014 10:58

Also, I hate the word 'dollop' so he uses it to annoy me.

I get my own back with 'taste buds' Confused.

AnnaLegovah · 02/04/2014 11:00

We have regular rows about the England national football side. Grin My argument is that the FA have been so totally spineless over the last decade and a half that they've allowed the Premier league to get too big and overshadow the national side - result being fewer English players coming through the ranks and playing regular football as they get enticed by larger clubs and the vast amounts of money. They end up sat on the bench most of the time, playing so few games they don't develop properly. The lure of money is too much. And the FA are massively at fault since they've been lining their own pockets off the back of a highly successful domestic league.

We need more money at grassroots level to encourage young players to stay at smaller clubs, learn their trade playing week in week out before hitting the big time. Most of our players aren't developed enough to hold their own at international level.

DH supports one of the largest Premier league teams so doesn't agree. And I'm a girl so what do I know about football been to far more football games in my life than he has and used to play semi-pro Wink

BlackeyedSusan · 02/04/2014 11:04

h tried to stop a pregnant women from buying chocolate in asda. given that I had been so ill I could not move without wanting to vomit for about 3 months and was now rahter hungry, it did not go down well. I expect most of asda heard. and winced at his stupidity

Nancy66 · 02/04/2014 11:04

Our worst ever (which resulted in him moving out for 2 days) arose from an attempt to assemble a child's trampoline together.

Marvintheparanoid · 02/04/2014 11:08

When DD was tiny and refused to sleep DH and I sat down one night for a much needed drink after she finally dropped off.
DH: I'll get the (pronounce thah) other bottle.
Me: Its the (pronounced thee)
DH: What?
Me: Theeee, its theeee before a vowel. How on earth did you get a degree in college? Its theeeeeeeeee!
DH: (after a long, confused silence) So should I get thah other bottle or not?
Me: (Bursts into tears and goes to bed).
Not my finest hour, still get teased about it. Grin

dawntigga · 02/04/2014 11:12

we argue about loads of rubbish, like when you should indicate coming off roundabouts etc.

I'm usually right and will bring it up 2 weeks later and say sorry you were right when you said x (x actually being what I said). Mr Tigga will then say, yes I thought I was right and I'll show him the internet page that proves it. If I just showed him the internet page without leaving it (so he remembered what he actually said) he wouldn't believe it.

I don't mind doing it that way because I'd rather he knows the correct information than actually be right iyswim.

MakesMeSmileWhenItHappensTiggaxx

thebody · 02/04/2014 11:14

dh re arranging the fucking dishwasher after I have loaded it.

being a spoony fucking bastard and randomly wandering into the kitchen as I am cooking, lifting the lid on a bolognaise without tasting it and adding bastard salt

thebody · 02/04/2014 11:16

oh yes approaching islands!

turn right?

no straight on

straight on is off the toad though isn't it down the bank

you know what I mean you twat

you mean left

cunt!!

and so it goes on!

WestieMamma · 02/04/2014 11:18

Our regular arguments revolve around him leaving paperwork for DS to play with. DH's idea of sorting it consists of shuffling it about and moving it to another baby accessible spot. I think I may just have to kill him and be done with it. I never realised how rage inducing letters could be.

FlankShaftMcWap · 02/04/2014 11:18

Google t&c changes in 2012. It was an epic one, I sobbed and sobbed and he was Confused
I was heavily pregnant though!

There was also the great bin liner tantrum of 09, that was conducted in Tesco. DH retreated to the chocolate aisle. I had my contraceptive implant removed shortly after. Extra hormones I do not need Blush

LaurieFairyCake · 02/04/2014 11:19

Ikea is the worst place on earth for screaming rows, I've argued with both husbands there.

I go on my own now.

Less than 3 weeks ago we also had a row about lights and more specifically measuring distance for them. We had to not talk to each other for about 10 hours to recover.

The main points of contention between us are related to DIY - there is a giant row brewing this Easter about tiling, a deck, and gravel laying.

Can I also point out I'm a couples counsellor Grin just for added fun and we still occasionally row like crazies.

We once had an argument that lasted all through the night about the existence of God - that's about 10 years ago but good gravy it was proper idiotic.

Stinklebell · 02/04/2014 11:19

Some of our biggest rows have been over pointless, ridiculous things

A plastic moustache (I was a bit pissed and wearing it)

A picture in Ikea (to be fair, we always argue in Ikea)

Big lights v side lamps - I hate big lights being on

Whether to put sharp knives pointing up or down in the dishwasher - my vote was for down as I don't want to risk slicing my hand off when reaching in there, he voted up for some convoluted and ridiculous reason that made no sense and I can't remember anyway

Cherry tomatoes v normal tomatoes

Assembling a child's cabin bed - I was right, he did put the cupboard door on back to front and it pisses me off every fucking time I enter my DD's bedroom and see it

BoffinMum · 02/04/2014 11:20

We regularly argue over DH's propensity to spend up to 20 minutes partially completing small unrelated and non urgent jobs on the way to a meal or on the way out with the family, while we all just sit there like idiots. I am right, of course. Wink

Stinklebell · 02/04/2014 11:22

Oh, and also we had a massive row over what we would spend a hypothetical lottery win on.

thebody · 02/04/2014 11:27

Laurie Grin bastard Ikea.

[stinkelbell] yep had the lottery one as dh wanted to give his sister more money than mine. Grin

dawntigga · 02/04/2014 11:29

BoffinMum inappropriate tidying up is, imo, as bad as being a spoony fucker. EVERY.FUCKING.TIME. Whatever it is will be there when we get back ffs!

HatesBeingLateTiggaxx

limitedperiodonly · 02/04/2014 11:30

I said I wouldn't want to live in the poshest part of town because it was too quiet and lacked a community feel...We are not, and will probably never be, in a position to move to this area

wearingpurple I had a similar row with an ex-boyfriend about Rolls Royces.

I said I didn't like the look of them and would never buy one if I had the money. He said I would. I said I wouldn't and that I'd buy the first one on this list, though now I come to think of it I'd like the Mercedes too.

He said the Rolls was the pinnacle of car engineering and that I should buy it. I said that wasn't what I was saying and even if the alternative meant being regularly stranded at the side of the road waiting for the AA I still wouldn't want one.

It got very heated. I drove a Mini at the time and he'd been banned for drink-driving but had previously driven an Escort XR3.

Also with the English idioms. A forrin boyfriend worked in a shop and couldn't understand why female customers got huffy when he called them 'lady'. He thought it was the same as 'Madam'.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 02/04/2014 11:32

Last row was after receiving junk mail that had been forwarded to us from our old address via Royal Mail.

Thinking that if I just chuck/recycle it the firms will keep bombarding our successors long after the forwarding arrangements stop, I thought I'd carefully write 'Gone Away' or 'No Longer At This Address' and add the Return To Sender address. DH thought that would clog the mail and just make more work for posties.

Next day I wondered aloud where the stack of junk mail had gone. DH had put it all in the recycling bin for that morning collection. He was pleased with his efficiency and probably perfectly sensible but I was fairly dancing.

(PS DH isn't foreign but will say, "Hard luck" when commiserating with someone but when I overhear him use that expression to my ears it sounds slightly sarky).

MummytoMog · 02/04/2014 11:33

DH and I rarely fight, preferring to ignore each other for a couple of hours and then forgetting about it. However, when I'm pregnant all bets are off.

First pregnancy I said I wasn't very hungry at about six months or so, so he brought me home a Weight Watchers ready meal for dinner. At which point I screamed I wasn't fat, I was pregnant and threw it at his head and didn't speak to him for two days.

Second pregnancy he left the hoover out in the middle of the living room. He never puts the hoover away. I always have to do it. This is because he thinks I don't hoover enough. So this time, I threw it away.

Once he told me that a friend of his had told him that belly dancing was great exercise for slightly older women and did I want to try it? I was thirty at the time. THIRTY.