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Original poster

ridiculous topics for marital rows

572 replies

whendotheyleavehome · 02/04/2014 09:23

OK, so I caught myself getting cross at hubby when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight? Other examples please....or am I a lone witch?...

OP posts:
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/04/2014 09:27

My exSIL used my DB not reading the meter straight away as one reason for cheating.

So no you arent, we can all be a little bit irrational.

Sparrowlegs248 · 02/04/2014 09:27

Mine will pick 'bits' off the carpet and deposit them in his empty cup/bowl/plate to be taken back to the kitchen. It drives me mad.

eltsihT · 02/04/2014 09:30

My dh is foreign. We often argue about the meaning and usage of words. The dictionary is my friend, I mostly win.

LaGuardia · 02/04/2014 09:30

Leaving a greasy dish 'in soak' for the foreseeable future sets me off.

runningonwillpower · 02/04/2014 09:31

We once had a huge row about curtain ties. It got quite nasty - he called me 'stupid' and I called him 'a big fat ugly pig'.

We never did put those ties up.

deakymom · 02/04/2014 09:31

walking past the bin to deposit rubbish on the table throwing dirty nappies on the floor AND LEAVING THEM (actually that last one i think he deserves a flaming for)

fairnotfair · 02/04/2014 09:32

I had a humdinger of a row with an ex-BF over the nine times table.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/04/2014 09:33

Latest money argument

After copious amounts of research I discover that a square metre of gravel costs £35, we need 2 of them

Dh: that's really expensive! (He prides himself on cheap his whole life)

Various ludicrous sentences then come out his mouth:

We could take beach pebbles

We could sort through the earth in our garden and use the stones

I quite like the current mud we have

Well we can't possibly afford it unless you sell x/y/z

I have learned after 10 years that he doesn't mean any of the above - they are just bounced around ideas. And that there is no point in going apoplectic at the accusatory tone of £35 being expensive and the hint of it being blamed on me as if I've chosen gold plated fucking gravel.

So I didn't (see, I'm growing) rant like a fishwife at the fact that it's illegal to steal beach pebbles, and that there is no accurately sized stones in our garden that will fill a square metre bag and for fucks sake that would take until The end of actual time to go dig the garden and find them.

But I did have to leave the room as there may have been steam coming from my ears and I may have gone a teeny bit red

SarahAndFuck · 02/04/2014 09:33

DH and I had an argument over the existence of manatees. He doesn't believe in them apparently Confused Grin

kerala · 02/04/2014 09:34

Used to do divorce law. One chap cited his wife's unreasonable behaviour was putting tins in the fridge. Was quite amusing that this was the worst thing he could think of!

kerala · 02/04/2014 09:35

Ours is the name esme. I wanted it for dd2 dh said he had never heard of it and. Had made the name up still annoys me thinking of it

WanttogotoDisney · 02/04/2014 09:37

I was furious with DH for getting the paddling pool wet when watering the flowers. It rained shortly after. Not sure what caused my madness that day!

CadleCrap · 02/04/2014 09:40

We had an argument about why ducks cross the road when their pond is on the other side. Confused

Original poster
whendotheyleavehome · 02/04/2014 09:44

Oh these are hilarious, I feel so much better. They are like Dr Who's Tardis - innocently small on the outside, but actually the row is about much 'bigger stuff' often (or due to total sleep deprivation). Others I've had are:

  1. not taking stuff up the stairs (the folded pants are not there for their aesthetic beauty for 's sake, I wan't thinking 'Farrow and Ball and Marks and Spencers cotton briefs go well together)

  2. Asking for help at bathtime when DH hadn't changed out of his work clothes:
    him 'I am still wearing my TIE for goodness sake
    me: totally speechless

keep them coming, this is very cathartic folks

OP posts:
Binkyridesagain · 02/04/2014 09:49

We were close to a row yesterday over a set of weighing scales. He wanted to place them on my kitchen windowsill, which I am sick of clearing of his crap, I wanted them were they have been kept for the past 9 months. His reason for putting them on the windowsill was he didn't want to walk 4 metres to fetch them every time he wanted to use them.

EverythingsDozy · 02/04/2014 09:49

Me and my H would only argue about one thing (which is one reason why I can't understand that he left and told me he was unhappy!) and that was sandwiches.
He would call one slice of bread folded over "half a sandwich" which would infuriate me no end because you can't make half a sandwich just like you can't dig half a hole. It is called a "one slice" !!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 02/04/2014 10:03

DH is also forrin and so we do argue about idiomatic phrases. DH refuses to believe that when someone tells you some news saying "good for you" may be interpreted by a native English speaker (i.e. me) as sarcasm not congratulations.

TheFrightenedMonkey · 02/04/2014 10:08

We once had a massive argument at 1am on a Wednesday about the future of the Eurozone. It went on till 3am and evolved into tears, flouncing the lot. Bit embarrassing trying to explain my red eyes and puffy face at work the next day!

Jolleigh · 02/04/2014 10:14

My DP is Portuguese and is forever repeating certain words in a Portuguese accent to prompt me to say them 'properly'.

The majority of the time, these repeated words aren't even Portuguese Angry There is no logic behind trying to get an English woman to repeat French words in a Portuguese accent!

I think he's under the impression it's endearing rather than infuriating enough to make me consider feeding him dog food pie.

squishysquirmy · 02/04/2014 10:15

Had a massive argument with DH once about the surface area to volume ratio of big penguins vs small penguins. I won, but can't remember how it ever started.

SnakeyMcBadass · 02/04/2014 10:15

Whether we have visited Branston Water Park. He might be right, looking back.
We once nearly split up while trying to put together our first bed. It was from Ikea and by the time it was assembled we weren't talking and I was looking up train time tables so I could flounce off home (I didn't).
There was a huge barney when DH tried to hang a mirror in the hall. It ended up involving me, DH, MIL, BIL, a neighbour AND the local vicar. Don't ask.

MorrisZapp · 02/04/2014 10:22

Come to think of it, it is physically impossible to say 'good for you' in a sincere voice. The joys of being British!

Ex DP and I once rowed to the point of us both crying because the Chinese delivery guy called me 'Mrs His Name' and I casually mentioned later that I wouldn't change my name upon marriage if in the very remote future I was ever to choose wedlock as a way of life.

We were 19 and had no plans whatsoever to marry.

He was devastated, angry, hurt and defensive, moving swiftly on to offensive.

MadCap · 02/04/2014 10:28

DH and I had a proper Jeremy Kyle type row in a Tile Flair carpark over bathroom tiles.

jollyjester · 02/04/2014 10:38

DH and I have some trivial fights but the one that escalated was over which brand of Cornflakes to buy once in tesco. Hmm

He actually walked out and sat in the car leaving me to finish the shopping.

froubylou · 02/04/2014 10:43

Huge but whispered row in tgi fridays about holding 8 week old ds. Dp said he couldn't hold him cos his feet were hurting. Dps feet not ds.

I lost the plot whilst pg at a retail park cos he wouldn't come and look at carpet cleaners with me. We had just bought one. I had a slight obsession.

And a huge row about the word 'well' and its meaning when spoken in different tones. Worst row of our 7 and a half year relationship. Was post natal and sleep deprived.