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ridiculous topics for marital rows

572 replies

whendotheyleavehome · 02/04/2014 09:23

OK, so I caught myself getting cross at hubby when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight? Other examples please....or am I a lone witch?...

OP posts:
rainbowweaver · 06/04/2014 04:10

Whether robots when they achieve consciousness, are then truly alive.

This was nearly 20 years ago, and I'm an Isaac Asimov fan.

CookieB · 06/04/2014 05:23

Got big tub of segsations for Xmas a few yrs back. Dp kept putting empty wrappers back in it. I cried! Don't even really like chocolateBlush.

ProfYaffle · 06/04/2014 06:50

Oooh, rainbowweaver, ours was Virtual Reality! Dh thought it was only a matter of time til the Matrix was fully realised, I insisted there would always be people who wouldn't plug themselves in.

OneInEight · 06/04/2014 07:49

dh and I have just had a row about what was our most ridiculous row! I contend it was over the tiles for the kitchen - red (dh) or blue (me). He contends it was not a ridiculous topic for a row - he is probably going to win again.

Notafoodbabyanymore · 06/04/2014 13:31

oranges your washing up order seems perfectly acceptable. To be honest, any order would do me. He just randomly leaves some stuff to soak, rinses other stuff then washes it up higgeldy piggeldy. I find it very frustrating to watch, but have accepted that it's just how he does it, and am pleased that he does most

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 06/04/2014 14:03

We have an ongoing skirmish level argument about the use of the word 'let'.
DP: I'll let you put the shopping away, so you know where everything is.
Me: Will you? That's nice.
DP: What? Why are you getting arsey?
Me: You'll let me put away the shopping?
DP: Yes...
Me: You're not doing me a bloody favour by leaving the shopping for me to put away!
DP: But you're the one who cooks!
Me: It's THE WAY YOU SAY IT!

Notafoodbabyanymore · 06/04/2014 14:26

Haha... oops! Most of the washing up.

We also argue a lot about his use of consumables, ie: toilet paper, toothpaste, dishwashing liquid, hand soap etc. He just friggen burns through the stuff and it winds me up SO MUCH!

limitedperiodonly · 06/04/2014 14:28

Inspired by another thread about whether you drink from the bathroom tap.

DH had a sip from my bottle of water on the plane. He then left it behind. I discovered that when we arrived at the hotel at about 2am. He said I could quench my raging thirst from the bathroom tap.

I asked him if he was out of his mind. What manner of zombiefied crap would be decaying in the cold water tank of a hotel? He said it was perfectly safe and I was being precious. To prove it he filled a glass of water and downed it in one.

I said he was mad. He then told me to get a bottle of Evian from the mini-bar if I was so precious. I refused because it cost about £500 (possibly I exaggerate, but not by much).

We went to bed doing that thing other posters have mentioned about clinging on to the extreme edges so as not to touch.

I woke with a tongue like a little dried up plant. He'd got up early and been to the supermarket and brought back six litres of water. I think I drank about half a litre in one go.

We did not speak of this again but since then I have noticed his extremely provocative behaviour of always filling a tooth mug from hotel bathrooms and swigging.

I've never said anything, but one day he will come down with something resistant to all known antibiotics. And when he is on his death bed, bleeding from every orifice, I will say: 'It gives me no pleasure to say this, but I told you so.'

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 06/04/2014 14:36

Just dodged one from mr fuckery. He is at work at three. Got up about ten. I had done three loads of washing, started dinner for the rest of us, been to shops. He got in a huff because suddenly, after sitting on his arse all morning it was now 1.30 and "too late to do anything". Then his eggs were a bit hard. No they were perfect when I boiled them. THEY KEEP COOKING IN THE SHELLS WHILST YOU LOOK SOMETHING UP ON THE COMPUTER. MINE WERE BASTARDING HARD, KNOB. He will piss off in a bit and can calm down.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 06/04/2014 14:47

Just read back to the adjudication of bury/berry. Dh says burry to them all. And nugget instead of nougat. I hate him
I have also had dream rows, woke up fuming as he had taken my clothes out of the suitcase (not his or dds) to put his telescope in instead. He just looked me like this Shock

limitedperiodonly · 06/04/2014 14:51

Another holiday thing.

My feet get really cold on planes so I always carry some fluffy socks in the front pocket of my hand luggage.

We get on plane. I reach into the pocket to find it empty. I express surprise and some dismay.

DH says: 'I packed them for you. In the suitcase. In the hold.'

And smiles in an attempt to get praise.

He is a control freak.

We ran through a loud discussion: Why had he never noticed on our many plane journeys my ritual of The-Taking-Off-The-Shoes-And-The-Putting-On-Of-The-Socks? Why had he never noticed my moaning about cold feet even though I had fluffy socks on. Had it occurred to him that I'm not the kind of person who wears fluffy orange and yellow stripey socks in any other scenario than a flight or in bed in January?

Why did he touch my fucking hand luggage, fucking control freak?

He then said that if I was that bothered he'd give me his own socks. I demanded them. I put them on and then damned them as too thin.

Other passengers were enjoying this.

I'm only glad that YouTube wasn't as popular then.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/04/2014 15:04

SaggyandLucy - dh suggests you move into a windmill. I will smack him for you, if you wish!

LadySybilVimes · 06/04/2014 15:17

Dh and I had a humdinger of a row about the miners strike.

This was in 2001, and both of us had been primary school age when the strike actually happened. We still don't speak about the strike.

AlpacaPicnic · 06/04/2014 17:53

limited I loved 'other passengers were enjoying this' I can picture it now!
What you need to do is fly with Virgin. When you get in the plane, waiting for you in your seat is a bag with an eye mask, a disposable toothbrush, a teenyweeny tube of toothpaste - and a pair of socks. You could commandeer all the socks. Voila! Toasty feet :-D

AlpacaPicnic · 06/04/2014 17:54

Mr alpaca and I row about how to pronounce the word theatre. Bestie and I argue about how to pronounce ibuprofen.
It seems I'm a mardy alpaca!

limitedperiodonly · 06/04/2014 18:49

Theerter alpaca. And eye-broo-prO-fen,

limitedperiodonly · 06/04/2014 18:51

I am actually wearing some threadbare blue towelling Virgin socks now. And an over-sized free t-shirt from a Prometheus launch.

Crap film.

Phlox · 06/04/2014 19:07

One of the worst arguments DH and I have ever had (and we've had quite a few over the last 20 years) was the correct way to weigh newborn puppies. I reckoned pounds and ounces and he said grams. DD still talks about it years later - it left her completely traumatised poor love!

FrankCarsonsDressingRoom · 06/04/2014 19:09

My husband and I had a fight lasting several hours over whether our son had touched a dog turd or not. I saw the turd fly and only wanted said child to go and scrub his hands, but dh was being all pfb about it and it led to a day of tension. Sad, eh!

FrankCarsonsDressingRoom · 06/04/2014 19:10

Yes, people who say Ibrufen drive me nuts, nuts, nuts.

confuddledDOTcom · 06/04/2014 19:17

I didn't know this iso- butyl- propanoic- phenolic acid.

We argue over the right way to make spagbol. He cuts everything up so fine you can't even see them in there, he will pick out my veg because it's too big despite the fact that he will have it similar size in anything else, it's just wrong in spagbol. My eldest calls mine "Mummy's bestest ever in the whole wide world spaghetti bolognaise" if you ask her to rank her favourites she holds her hand up high "Mummy" head height "Frankie & Benny's" crouches down "Daddy" Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/04/2014 19:20

Eye-byoo-pro-fen = ibuprofen.

limitedperiodonly · 06/04/2014 19:22

Oh, yeah I say Broo.

Oh well.

GiraffesAndButterflies · 06/04/2014 19:33

Don't go near my grandma, she says eye-broo-broo-fen AND she forgets to sodding well take it.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/04/2014 19:49

I'm guessing that's because Brufen was the trade name for the first ibuprofen commercially available in the UK (iirc), and she's conflated ibuprofen and Brufen.