Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

ridiculous topics for marital rows

572 replies

whendotheyleavehome · 02/04/2014 09:23

OK, so I caught myself getting cross at hubby when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight? Other examples please....or am I a lone witch?...

OP posts:
Marvintheparanoid · 06/04/2014 19:56

This is a classic thread. I guess we come under the small minority who don't argue at IKEA Grin
Though we once had a big row over the words in Wonderful tonight'. I argued she had black hair, he thought blonde. To my eternal shame, he was right. Given that I ALWAYS remember song lyrics and he doesn't, that was a miracle. I maintain she SHOULD have had black hair! <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Wink" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/wink-ClU7UaDM.png"> Oh and we once argued about the origin of the word inconsequential'. I threw (actually, literally threw across the room a heavy Chambers) the dictionary at him by the end.

Gingeete · 06/04/2014 20:07

Apparently me and DH are about to have a massive argument because I am laughing out loud whilst in the IPAD and it's rude!!!

Aeth1992 · 06/04/2014 20:23

I've just returned from IKEA - no fighting!

Shock

We had a great time (with DCs).

Good job I'm marrying him next week eh?

Sister77 · 06/04/2014 20:29

On page 8 and I have to share our biggest arguments Coloured toilet roll, he bought pink, coloured toilet roll is the tool if the devil and we'll get bowel and arse cancer AND ITS ALL HIS FAULT. It should be white. This makes me racist.
And that bastard Peppa pig, we've watched them all and I swear that grandma pig and grandpa pig are mummy pigs mum and dad and he says their daddy pigs parents. Actually would appreciate it if anyone could shed light on that subject!

Aeth1992 · 06/04/2014 20:34

Mummy pigs parents. There's an episode where they see photos of mummy pig as a baby and dance around to songs she likes as a child.

slithytove · 06/04/2014 20:34

We pronounce it Bufen. Makes sense to us Grin

slithytove · 06/04/2014 20:35

Ok I just tried to bold only part of a word and it failed, can someone please help?
Ibuprofen

slithytove · 06/04/2014 20:36

Ffs. Not what i wanted.
Ibu profen

Sister77 · 06/04/2014 20:37

Thanks Aeth you can tell daddy pig doesn't really like them so that would make sense!

FreeWee · 06/04/2014 20:37

Just asked my DH and he said it was when we recorded the Apprentice semi final and he watched it first. When I pressed play that evening it said "in the final X and Y" before I could press pause!!!! I went mental saying how selfish of him to not think of when I watch it what I'll see. He reckoned I should have spotted it wasn't at 00 minutes and acted accordingly. He now admits he should have thought about where he'd left it. I now admit I need to chill the hell out about stuff.

Aeth1992 · 06/04/2014 20:39

There's a conspiracy theory that FIL is disappointed in his daughters choice of husband. I think grandpa pig was a surgeon?

Anyway, daddy pig crashed his boat and should be utterly ashamed of himself. Incompetent git.

ameliarose2012 · 06/04/2014 20:48

They are definitely Mummy Pigs parents! How could he possibly be confused?!?! xxx

Sister77 · 06/04/2014 20:48

Ooohhhh and the word specific he says pacific. I want to kill him or castrate him.
He then argues he said specific the lying cunt.
He now avoids sentences which may use that word.

GiraffesAndButterflies · 06/04/2014 20:51

she's conflated ibuprofen and Brufen

OMG SDTG I had no idea!! My DGM saying this has been a source of irritated amusement to my DM for as long as I can remember, I can't wait to tell her there's actually a logical root to it Grin
I know this won't mean a thing to you but it's been a sort of in-joke for so long, you've just shaken the foundations of my world GrinGrin

deakymom · 06/04/2014 21:05

i just call them painkillers Grin

MyLatest · 06/04/2014 21:43

I am so happy reading this as I told DH he would be found under our patio if he kept putting the knives in the dishwasher point down so they emerge unwashed. He also throws DS' s clean clothes into random drawers then complains that DS has nothing to wear.

No one tells you it's the little things that send you mad when you are married.

Panzee · 06/04/2014 21:51

All my cutlery is point down in case I trip and fall on it. I don't want "impaled by contents of dishwasher" to be my cause of death.

MyLatest · 07/04/2014 00:04

Panzee are you my DH? Wink

I tell him to close the bloody dishwasher behind him and the no one will trip over door.

Limelight · 07/04/2014 00:06

DH and I have just had our first ever conversation about Springoniongate (see post below). He looked a bit sheepish which was pleasing Wink

He is also horrified that the WORLD (i.e. MN) now thinks that in chucking salad veg at his head in Sainsburys, we may have been wasteful.

So I am clarifying on his behalf. After I flounced out of the shop, he picked up the offending items and bought them along with the rest of the shopping (before he scurried out in shame - he doesn't like a scene). Everyone clear? Good. You can go about your business now. Smile

MrsWombat · 07/04/2014 06:01

About whether or not I've been to covent garden. I absolutely hadn't at the time. Certainly not the market area. But he swore blind that I had with him. Couldn't remember why we were there, it's not the sort of place you randomly walk past on the way to something else.

Took DS to the London transport Museum a couple of years ago and definitely hadn't been there previously!

stinkingbishop · 07/04/2014 07:04

mylatest but it has to be open when you're loading/unloading...I sort of half stumbled over the cat/cat's bed in some freak accident the other day and did sustain a puncture wound from a knife DP had put point up. It does happen! I could have DIED! Well, not really.

Compromise now is all knives go LYING DOWN on the top shelf.

Seems to work.

Inertia · 07/04/2014 08:40

Marvin I think you might both be correct. IIRC, he originally wrote the song for a woman with blond hair ( Patti Boyd??) then changed the wording to black hair in honour of a later partner / wife.

maggi · 07/04/2014 08:54

If I ask for help with housework:

DH: "I've just done an 8 hour shift!" (If is a work day)
DH: "It's my day off, I just want to relax" (If it's not a work day)

Me thinking to myself: "Not only do I work(up to 50hrs), I do all the intimate care and meetings for the foster child, I home educate our son, I do all the organizing, I write all the letters and reports, I do all the decorating, I do all the gardening, but .... I'm not going to wash any of your work uniform so you'll have to go butt naked to work tomorrow and I'm going to forget to get anything for your lunch when I go shopping later today...." Then I smile and walk away. (Actually, sometimes I blow my top too.)

moonbells · 07/04/2014 08:54

Our first (and still, after 17y, most spectacular) row was over nutmeg in mashed potatoes. Ended up with things being thrown.

We now have a whole nutmeg in the kitchen, with LOVE written on it. If one of us feels that a discussion is turning into a pointless silly row, we will fetch the nutmeg and present it to the other. We call such arguments nutmegs.

KeatsiePie · 07/04/2014 08:57

moonbells that is adorable. I love it.