Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

[SnakeyMcBadass]

I got up to check on the DC last night and tip toed across the squeaky landing. Returning to the bedroom, I somehow managed to walk/bump into the lever door handle. The door handle threaded itself down the side of my pants, stopping any forward motion of said pants. My arse, however, was still in motion. I was still on tip toe, managed to get a front bum wedgie, and tip forwards. I put my hands out to stop my fall, and DH woke up to find me doing a weird half handstand while attached to the door and muttering 'Fuck, fuck, fuck'. He pissed himself laughing rather than helping to free me, the bastard. I have a cracking bruise on my hip and a carpet burn on my elbow, but the pants are still intact. I am quite impressed by the engineering, tbh. Anyone else hung themselves upside down from a door?

I tripped myself up with the flappy bottom of my pyjama trousers by getting my othr foot stuck in it. I broke my wrist whilst falling.... :( Div

So glad to learn that I'm not the only mother who has dropped her dc in the toilet.

Hello there

Et voila, you are in Classics

Thanks to everyone who drew our attention to this one

MNHQ

Thanks Rowan - weebling pillowcase must never be deleted

As a teenager I was carrying the cat downstairs, I tripped, the cat freaked and clawed a huge scratch from the corner of my eye, I fell head over heals down the stairs.

That's not the embarrassing part , my family rushed to see what all the commotion was. There I was in a pile at the bottom of the stairs with the cat . . . . and a coat-hanger stuck down my back.

Nobody could understand how I'd managed to entangle myself with a coat-hanger on my way down. I might have been on my way downstairs to show everyone my hilarious impression of Five Star using coat-hanger to create big shoulders.

When DS2 was 3, he had a habit of pulling his shoes/boots off while in the car seat and then wailing his head off to have them put back on. He did this one time while DH was driving. I was in the passenger seat but very pregnant so couldn't twist round to put it right.

DH stopped the car, rather put out by all the palaver, stalked round to DS2's side of the car, opened the door and proceeded to put the wellies back on. DS2 was wailing and thrashing so it was difficult. DH's hand slipped on the welly, flew up and punched DS2 in the jaw.

DH was utterly mortified and felt terrible. DS2 was so surprised by it that he stopped crying and was quite cheerful for the rest of the journey. Didn't pull his welly off again either...

Hello? I actually have a broken finger because of this thread.

That is one hell of an unfortunate coincidence Theodorous! Hope it isn't too painful.

dh had to stop to help a biker one day. Poor chap was stuck fast. He'd somehow got the kick stand caught in the turn ups of his jeans! (Hopefully he realised it would be a good idea to go out and buy some leathers, daft sod.)

That reminds me undecided ds was sat on my bed te other week watching a DVD while I tried to get five extra mins, he was sat on the duvet so I tried to pull it out to get under it and my hand slipped, I punched him full force in the face and knocked him off the bed.
Poor little sod didn't know what he'd done!
I'm still mortified and feeling guilty.

Many years ago in the early 90's I was at college and I worked at a place 'Mum goes to'. In those days we didn't have the claims culture we do now which is probably why my colleague got away with pushing one of the stock cages rather than pulling. Unfortunately for him because he was pushing it he didn't see the rather small old lady leaning into the food cabinet in front of him.
It took two of us to remove the deceptively heavy old dear from the waffle cabinet. Two of us who were wide eyed with tears streaming down our cheeks trying our very best to convey apologies with a bit of free shopping.

Same store and the stock room was upstairs. There were huge plate glass windows up there looking down on the shopping precinct below. The lads had a football up there and would kick it about during breaks, invariably bouncing it off the fluorescent lighting and smashing the tubes so the ball was confiscated. One of the boys had the ingenious idea that they didn't need a ball and a large tin of chappie would suffice. Fortunately for everyone when the tin of dog food went sailing through the huge window and bounced down the precinct it was a very quiet thursday afternoon and miraculously nobody was hurt. We all just stood there and watched as it went through, it was like slow motion. Doubly fortunate for the lads that our manager at the time was just as bloody daft and made up some ridiculous story to explain the flying dog food.

Oh, Theodorus. Your poor finger :(

But , we're in classics!

Can I add an ex-colleague's story?

He was on holiday with his DW and three small DSs, and was faffing about trying to be David Bailey balancing on a balcony in an attempt to get a good pic of his family - he managed to fall forwards onto the back of a chair, winding himself and possibly cracking a few ribs - his DW was pissing herself laughing, but agreed to go find the resort doctor.

She passed him their youngest to hold while she ran to get help (who was still at the wobbly-head stage) who promptly nutted him in the face, breaking his nose.

Not entirely sure if this was the same holiday, but they also came home to find their car had been crushed, including x3 car seats etc, as the plonker had forgotten to get a new tax disc. (They'd been away for over three weeks, the 2wks warning letter arrived the day after they left).

Couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke.

Years ago I came back to our flat to find a large trail of blood all over our hall. I totally panicked, then I found my flatmate standing on a stepstool in the kitchen running his, ahem, penis under the tap. Apparently he'd really caught it when he was pulling his zip up and the bathroom sink was too awkward to get at. I pissed myself laughing for ages before I went and got him some towels.

This was the same flatmate who in the middle of the night thought he heard someone trying to break in the backdoor of the tenement (it had happened a few weeks before). So he threw open the really heavy double glazed sash window in his room and had to lean right out to have a look because we were on the second floor. The sash fell on top of him and he got stuck half in and half out. His shouting wakened half the people in the tenements behind us before I woke up and rescued him.

He was totally accident prone.

Love the self-preservation snowboarding technique of shoving strangers into trees & bins

I was out on a date with a guy from work. We went back to his flat and as we neared he decided to scissor jump the wall, presumably trying to be cool, but stumbled and went straight through the front window of the downstairs flat!

Out fishing with now dh for the first time. Whilst walking along the river bank he was looking back at me warningme be careful of rabbit holes. No sooner had hespoke one leg disappeared straight down a hole. I stopped laughing long enough to check he was ok before actually wetting myself a little bit! Was in right up to his groin and would never have got out if he'd been on his own!

oh my goodness I dont even think im 1/4 of the way in and im crying so much laughing!

about 10 years ago I was just about to enter a tube station and lost my footing. I fell and did a kind of goal celebration across the busy ticket office.

I also had a slight mishap with the tens machine I was using for pain relief. I was walking along and somehow knocked it up the highest and fastest setting so I was literally stuck against a wall with my leg randomly kicking out ( a bit like a dog does when u scratch it! ) my sister cried with laughter! !

Thought I'd lost this thread but it's in Classics

DH and I were running for the bus, DH being quite a lot faster than me, somhe turned around to see how far away I was, run into a bin and his top half tumbled right inside it, it was hilarious.

As for me, not really an accident but when I was around 12 I went on a horse riding lesson. I got the lazy stubborn horse who didn't like to move much so I was told to keep very short reins to stop him from going after any bit of grass he could find. I was obviously no match for a full grown horse so when it bent down to eat some grass, I was holding the reins so short and so hard that I started sliding down its neck and ended up doing a forward rollypolly to land perfectly in an upright position with my back to the horse.

There was also the time when I, or rather my right leg, went down the gap between the train and the platform...That'll teach me to pay more attention to the tannoy people.

These are brilliant.

I once had quite a spectacular accident in front of DH's parents. We hadn't been together all that long and they had come for dinner. I'd been cleaning the flat madly all day and cooking - homemade icecream etc. Bit stressful.

Was trying to be all casual and confident, somehow managed to catch my dress on the door handle, did a semi cartwheel, unattached from the door handle, flew through the air and landed upside down in the cat litter tray.

Creasing up at the TENs machine

This will really give me away - unless it is a common occurrence - but it happened at my wedding.

Setting the scene: Beautiful English old manor house, civil wedding in one room, champagne in Orangery, then move into the great hall for a buffet dinner. My new DH and I come in when announced by the Maitre D (who incidentally stepped on the back of my dress and tore it cause he was drunk, but that is another story). Everybody applauds and we sit down at top table in front of the big fireplace.

I am wearing a big beautiful meringue of a dress, and have some trouble sitting but manage it. Then DH and I are invited by the same Maitre D to make our way to the buffet and start the food line. So I get up, but my dress is too pouffy, so I cannot make my way between my chair and DH's. So he tells me to sit down again and he will move his chair so I can get out.

What I do not know is that my Dad has moved my chair out of the way, so I sit down and end up flat on my back on the floor under the table, with 80 pairs of eyes watching me. Luckily because it was over 15 years ago, there were no smart phones in the room, so no real evidence that it ever really happened, just hearsay! The look on my poor Dad's face was a picture!

I was walking DS into school a few years ago, holding his hand, talking to him, and I walked him right into the letter box outside school.

I was walking back from the swimming pool with ds and dd. It was a narrow pavement and had lamp posts sticking out on the pavement. I turned round to see what the noise was (it was an ambulance ironically!) and I walked dd right in to a lamp post. Ds was still holding my hand walking forward while dd was sat in front of a lamp post, this made me fall over and do a forward roll on the concrete and I had a massive egghead for the next few weeks. All of this was while we were holding our swimming kits and mine went flying across to the other side of the road!