Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

[SnakeyMcBadass]

I got up to check on the DC last night and tip toed across the squeaky landing. Returning to the bedroom, I somehow managed to walk/bump into the lever door handle. The door handle threaded itself down the side of my pants, stopping any forward motion of said pants. My arse, however, was still in motion. I was still on tip toe, managed to get a front bum wedgie, and tip forwards. I put my hands out to stop my fall, and DH woke up to find me doing a weird half handstand while attached to the door and muttering 'Fuck, fuck, fuck'. He pissed himself laughing rather than helping to free me, the bastard. I have a cracking bruise on my hip and a carpet burn on my elbow, but the pants are still intact. I am quite impressed by the engineering, tbh. Anyone else hung themselves upside down from a door?

I've been laughing my way through these for too long!

My own (less funny) contribution..... My first job interview, fresh out of college. Dressed up in newly acquired smart shoes, skirt, jacket, all the rest. Walked into the interview room and attempted to ooze confidence by striding purposefully to the empty seat at the table. But I trod on the end of a rug with some force, the rug (on a smooth parquet floor) folded up like a concertina, taking me skidding with it, until I crashed to a halt underneath the table. One of the ladies from the interview panel came to my aid, which was embarassing enough, but as she helped me to my feet neither of us noticed that she was standing on the hem of my skirt. As I stood up, the bottom of my skirt stayed trapped on the floor, and I was left frantically clutching at the waistband to preserve my modesty. Did I get the job? No. Kind of hard to recover from that start, really.

OP please save WeeblingPillowcase in case you're ever in need of a name change, it's too too good!

Bookmarking this thread for when DC2 arrives and I'll be needing some light relief in the small hours...

Mine: At my nephew's birthday party, I was performing the complex task of walking through a door, my sling-back heel caught on the door sill, I fell into the corner of the cake table, winding myself.
Didn't dare grab onto the table/tablecloth as I knew my DSis had spent hours decorating his cake and she'd kill me if I damaged it, so instead I ricocheted off the table, fell backwards, legs flying over my head cartoon-style, landed on my neck/shoulders.
Result: Whiplash, bruised sternum, v sore shoulder and ankle.
All from wearing stupid high heels. Death traps.

Damn, forgot to add, the entire garden full of party people turned in unison to watch me fall, and at some point of the afternoon commented on never seeing such a comedy fall in RL before... Um, thanks? :)

Cakey

Do you always have a cup of tea when you are coming?

wonders about how Cakey's OH heats the tea at same time as DTD

Hilarious thread.

I can't tell you which band it was, sorry

On that same trip I decided to go sightseeing with an American friend. Having got me and elephant man my sister to the hotel the previous day I clearly had the underground system sussed and took charge.

We were rushing to the platform just as the train was about to set off. For reasons I still don't understand I launched myself through the closing doors and turned around to see him staring at me in bewilderment from the platform as I disappeared into a tunnel.

The entire carriage saw this unfold and pissed themselves laughing.

I read these this morning, walked down the marble floored corridor to show my husband, slipped and have broken my finger. Seriously.

I've posted this before but it's very appropriate for this thread:

Many years ago, still at home in my teens, chatting with Dad on the patio while Mum pestered about the fact he hadn't mown the lawn yet. He always did it because the old-fashioned petrol mower was much too heavy for her & it was sitting waiting on the lawn. Suddenly she could bear it no longer, grabbed the mower, managed to start it with the pull-cord & set off down the lawn at a great rate of knots, somehow swung round at the bottom & came charging back towards the house hanging on for grim death, legs trailing behind, becoming entangled in a fitted sheet on the line across the lawn, still hanging on, now shouting "John! John!" till she crashed into the rockery & stopped. We were helpless with laughter & she was absolutely furious! I can still make her grumpy just mentioning it 30 years later

I'm not that tall so hardly ever have to duck under things. Once I hadn't pushed up the garage door quite far enough, strode into the garage & was hit hard across the forehead by the door & fell over backwards. Fortunately no-one saw me do it but the resulting bruise across my forehead looked like someone had tried to take the top of my head off like a boiled egg and I didn't have a fringe

I was on the bus to school once, stood up just after ringing the bell for the stop, put my foot on a patch of wet grass clippings that had come off someone's shoe and skidded the width of the bus to the other window where I landed in a similar fashion to a cartoon character hitting a window - face pressed against the glass, hand out to try and break my fall. Most of the school was filing in at the time so a good few would have seen me do it.

Another time, on another bus, went to go upstairs as the bottom level was a bit busy, bus pulled away and I lost my footing on the wet stairs. Landed on the floor, on my back, hit my head on the way down and not one bastard helped me up, just sat there all po faced as the driver had to stop the bus and help me to my seat.

I don't do too well on buses... Why have I got a new job that requires me to take a 20-40 minute journey across the city every day?!

JOHN!!!

Humungously pregnant with dc1, I went to use my dad's car for something. I didn't realise that my mum had been the last to drive it. She's tiny and sits with the seat back raked vertical and the seat pulled very far forward. I slid sideways into the seat, my bump went under the steering wheel, and I was wedged. I could not reach down around my bump to release the seat to move it backwards. i could not reach back to the knob to lean the seat backwards. I could not even teach my mobile to call for help. I had to honk the horn until my dad came and rescued me. By which time, of course, all the neighbours had come out, as well.

Ds2 is very tall for his age and very bouncy. When he was about 3, possibly younger, he came bouncing into the kitchen, crashing past the door in his elephant-laughing-gas way. He must have caught it at the top of a bounce because the next thing we knew he was suspended from the door handle by the strap of his dungarees. The bewilderment on his face! The tears of laughter on our faces! The temptation to leave him there for a few hours

Skiing with the my husband a couple if years ago. I'm not a very good skier. Thought I'd show off a bit by swerving off the slope at the side, into the powder to throw up a big spray when you I turned. Except I'm not very good at skiing and wasn't going fast enough. I just kind of stopped then sunk up to my boobs in the powder. Husband was crying with laughter and took several photos before having to wade in and tug of me out.

Before that u had been learning to snowboard. Also not good at that. Middle of a lesson another learner and I are next to each other when it becomes clear we are on a collision course. I panicked, neither of us had the skill to get out of the way, so I did all I could think of and then put my hands out and shoved. Except I pushed a bit hard and sent the poor bloke sailing in into a patch of very spikey trees. The instructor complimented me to on my ruthless tactics for self preservation.

Later that trip I did something similar (again in a moment of panic) and ended up pushing a small child into a bin. I have given up on boarding.

I was cycling home a little bit tipsy at night. I cut through the Univeristy campus which isn't very well lit and cycled straight into a car park barrier. I came over the bars and landed, perfectly balanced, on my belly over the bar. Unfortunately, this was just at the precise moment that two men were walking by. They said they had never seen anything so funny.

I wiped out on a cabbage stalk when we had builders round. I thought I had done it discretely but chin and face met earth.
The conversation carried on Britishly despite my muddy face and fat lip.

I had both handa full so sneezing into the sink seemed like a good idea.

I forgot about the involuntary downward head movement we all do and banged my chin on the edge of the sink.
my chined bruised and it hurt for days.

I have loads but my favourite is when I was about 4 me and my mun went to london to see the changing of the guards. ..

I put my head through the gates to get a better look and got stuck.. my mum had to phone the fire brigade and my mum was going crazy because there were loads of Chinese tourists taking pictures and laughing

Coming down the stairs at school one afternoon, end of the day so many teenagers vying to get out the building quickly. I come down confidently in my wide legged trousers and heeled boots. Hem of trousers has decided to kill me and traps my heel so as I take the next step down my knee stays stuck in mid air and I start pirouetting tryin not to fall arse over tit into the throng. Imagine a sort of dying swan effort grabbing the banisterand sliding down, teetering over the edge backwards accompanied by a sound slightly reminiscent of the Hulk on helium. As I reached the bottom I jumped up and took a bow as everyone applauded. And yes...I was the teacher. So I was reminded by several student for a long time afrterwards

Coming down the stairs at school one afternoon, end of the day so many teenagers vying to get out the building quickly. I come down confidently in my wide legged trousers and heeled boots. Hem of trousers has decided to kill me and traps my heel so as I take the next step down my knee stays stuck in mid air and I start pirouetting tryin not to fall arse over tit into the throng. Imagine a sort of dying swan effort grabbing the banisterand sliding down, teetering over the edge backwards accompanied by a sound slightly reminiscent of the Hulk on helium. As I reached the bottom I jumped up and took a bow as everyone applauded. And yes...I was the teacher. So I was reminded by several student for a long time afrterwards

OMFG. I swear, Hop, you nearly finished me off

"John, John"

< wipes tears away >

ended up pushing a small child into a bin

Crying with laughter!

When I was in my mid teens and living at home, the next door neighbour had some brought in builders into his house to work on his new conservatory.

Being a nosey mare and having my bedroom overlook neighbours back garden I watched to see what was going on from the safety of behind my net curtains. I was most thrilled to see a guy I had had a crush on for ages working with (what I cottoned on to be) his builder Dad.

Being that my window was at an awkward height, to get a better viewing point I climbed up onto my dresser. Still I wasn't comfortable and I shuffled over slightly to get better footing - Only I had shuffled over to where there was no dresser (so engrossed at watching my crush, I wasn't paying attention) and my foot met air and I tumbled down heavily, sideways with a high pitched squeak and my arms stiffly swiping every single item on my window shelf down with me - including the net curtain.

My side hurt where I landing on it, but I remember staggering to stand up and peep from my window to see if I had been seen. Builder crush was stood facing my window with the most scrunched up confused face trying to figure out what the hell just happened in the bedroom of number 26!

One more - about another friend, who I am sure won't mind me sharing.

Friend used to run a youth group in a village hall. Lots of running around activities etc., resulting in dirty feet. At the end of the session, friend went to toilets and decided to wash her feet in the sink. Stood on one leg, with other foot up in the sink, soaping away. Then she saw a spider in the next sink. Thing is, she's terrified of spiders and her automatic reaction is to run away. With one wet foot, and the other in the sink, she managed to do a sort of cartoon run in mid-air before falling over backwards and almost knocking herself out on the toilet door.

I am HOWLING at "John! John!"