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Original poster

Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

260 replies

SnakeyMcBadass · 27/01/2014 10:35

I got up to check on the DC last night and tip toed across the squeaky landing. Returning to the bedroom, I somehow managed to walk/bump into the lever door handle. The door handle threaded itself down the side of my pants, stopping any forward motion of said pants. My arse, however, was still in motion. I was still on tip toe, managed to get a front bum wedgie, and tip forwards. I put my hands out to stop my fall, and DH woke up to find me doing a weird half handstand while attached to the door and muttering 'Fuck, fuck, fuck'. He pissed himself laughing rather than helping to free me, the bastard. I have a cracking bruise on my hip and a carpet burn on my elbow, but the pants are still intact. I am quite impressed by the engineering, tbh. Anyone else hung themselves upside down from a door?

OP posts:
BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 27/01/2014 11:52

The pillowcase is brilliant. My DS gets similarly irate if we laugh at him hurting himself or his tantrums Blush Grin (can't remember any hilarious stories...)

UterusUterusGhali · 27/01/2014 12:03

My pelvic floor has been compromised somewhat...Grin

I remember once when I was pg and ds must have been 18months and sat in his highchair. Dh was asleep on the sofa.
The door of the fridge fell onto me Confused and was dangling by a wire. I couldn't put it back or let it go as the wire would have snapped. I was calling dh but he was soundo. It hurt! So I asked slightly hysterical ds to get daddy. (He was a good lad and not strapped in well. Tall for his age etc) so he tried to get out, but got tangled up. He ended up dangling upside down from his chair vomiting in excitement, and I was under this lump of metal, while we both bellowed to dh.
I can't remember how we freed ourselves.

Whatisaweekend · 27/01/2014 12:04

My DM fell over in the garden and rolled down a bank. Doesn't sound funny? She was doing the watering at the time and was carrying the hose which was on full blast. Managed to clear her nasal passages with high velocity tap water and also give herself an at-home enema.

I nearly died laughing!!

Shnickyshnackers · 27/01/2014 12:21

It's like laughter therapy reading these :)

Original poster
SnakeyMcBadass · 27/01/2014 12:24

More! More! Grin

OP posts:
CoolItKittens · 27/01/2014 12:27
Grin

Nothing as good as some here but last winter I was rushing to open the front door because someone was knocking, got my toe hooked in the end of my pyjama leg and slid down the stairs on my belly. Opened the door, collected parcel, shut the door than collapsed laughing at stupid it must have looked.

CoolItKittens · 27/01/2014 12:27

at HOW stupid it must have looked**

Dawndonnaagain · 27/01/2014 12:28

Thirty odd years ago in Worcester, a beautiful summers day. I was pushing a friend in her wheelchair, trying to cross the road onto a roundabout to cross the otherside of the roundabout. I got halfway across the road, and my beautiful, almost floor length, flouncy, floaty hippy skirt was blown into the wheels of said wheelchair, pulling the skirt down as i pushed. I didn't wear undies in those days, so there I was, in the middle of a roundabout on a busy road in Worcester on a Saturday lunchtime in tourist season, naked from the waist down.
I'm blushing now, and this was 34 years ago!

CaptainFabulous · 27/01/2014 12:30

DH kicked a ball into the dining room just as DD ran into the room...it got her right in the chops, making the brilliant 'pock' hollow sound as it pinged off her face...

I could barely comfort her for laughing....still laughing now when I think about it Grin

BigWellyLittleWelly · 27/01/2014 12:33

Excuse me.
I am trying to get the baby asleep.

So far weebling pillowcase and home made enema have creased me up. I realise I could quit reading but then I'd be bored

spiderlight · 27/01/2014 12:33

We used to live in a rented house that for some reason had a net curtain over the glass panel on the back door, held by hooks on stretchy wire top and bottom. I was walking through the door one day and one of the hooks caught through my ring and got completely stuck. No amount of jiggling and twisting would get it out, and I fiddled and panicked so much that my finger swelled up and I couldn't get my ring off. I was on my own in the house at the time but I eventually managed to get to my phone, which was luckily in the pocket of a coat hanging up by the door, and ring DH at work to see if he had any bright ideas. By this time I was half-dead with laughter at the ridiculousness of it, so all DH heard was some heavy breathing and a squeaky 'Help, I'm...', at which point my phone battery died. DH dropped everything and RAN home from work, and just as I heard him open the front door, my ring spontaneously unhooked itself. He was in a total panic, expecting me to be in a broken heap at the bottom of the stairs or something, so 'I was stuck to the back door...' didn't go down too well! Grin

Original poster
SnakeyMcBadass · 27/01/2014 12:34

Argh, Dawn!

OP posts:
Norem · 27/01/2014 12:40

Oh this thread has made me cry laughing, thank you OP.
My most recent one was last spring in the park with 2 Dss age 5 and 2.
Standing beside the pond feeding the ducks when Ds2 leans forward then overbalances and flings himself in (shallow dive style).
I was right there and it's a shallow pond so he was in for probably 5 seconds max.
When I lifted him out he was FURIOUS completely lost it and all Ds 5 and I could do was laugh. I stripped him and redressed him laughing all the while.
Every time we go past that pond he reminds me :)

Onesleeptillwembley · 27/01/2014 12:51

In the local paper about 12 years or do ago, they had plastic garden chairs in the pool changing rooms. A lad had to be rescued by the fire brigade as he'd sat on one naked, the chair had bent a bit and his sack had gone through the hole in the chair and got stuck when the chair straightened up again. It's awful but I still laugh till I leak a bit over this. Poor lad. Can't decide which would be worse, the trapping or the shame.

DontmentionLondon · 27/01/2014 12:55

I've NCed for this. Yes it's that bad Grin

Me and my sister travelled to London for a long weekend. Had a few drinks on the train, arrived at Euston with no idea how to get to our hotel. Eventually deciphered the tube system, which my sister appeared to be allergic to as her face was bright red and rapidly swelling up to resemble elephant man.

I was panicking slightly, looking for the tube station when I walked slap bang into an inconveniently placed lamppost, knocking out several of my teeth and giving me a fat lip.

A few yards from the hotel it started raining, like monsoon level rain.

We arrived at our extremely posh hotel, dripping wet, bleeding, swollen and toothless, and had to spend quite some time convincing the skeptical looking receptionist to check our booking, which was part of a booking for a very famous rock band, who we were staying 'with' for the weekend!

Safe to say I have never returned. My sister had the emergency doctor out and I spent four consecutive days at the dentist having my teeth reconstructed.

Ahh. Happy days.

mrsjay · 27/01/2014 12:58

I was sitting typing away on the pc and the cat fell on my face and she clung on for dear life to my hair I had a black eye and a scratch and had to have a tetanus and the nurse sort of gulped and coughed as I told her my cat fell on my face Grin

Original poster
SnakeyMcBadass · 27/01/2014 12:59

Bloody hell, London! Ouch.

But we need to know the name of the band, m'kaaaaay?

OP posts:
LumpyBumpyMum · 27/01/2014 13:01

Thank you for the laugh OP! This has cheered me right up!

loveliesbleeding1 · 27/01/2014 13:03

A few years ago I got roped into looking after my cousins great dane, one day I took him for a walk, but he was so powerful he managed to pull me right over and through a massive muddy puddle, then while I was down there, he wee'd on me, the bastarding arsehole.

Snatchoo · 27/01/2014 13:04

The best one was when we got a new bed. I jumped on it, forgetting it was a bit bouncier than our old one and rolled off. Into the gap between the end and the wall. For some reason I had my knee up and I got wedged in the gap.

I was laughing so much I couldn't breathe or get myself out, I was there for about 10 minutes before DH found me Grin

I regularly catch myself by the beltloops on the door handle. The most embarrassing was when I ripped my wrap dress completely off my body Blush.

DTS2 got himself stuck in a toilet lid before. Lots of photos taken of that one!

mrsjay · 27/01/2014 13:04

oh god great dane weeing

Original poster
SnakeyMcBadass · 27/01/2014 13:06

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Grin

OP posts:
Snatchoo · 27/01/2014 13:08

Oh and lets not forget when I slipped down the stairs, I was carrying DS3 who was about one. Got my legged hooked underneath me so I put him down to bump down on his bottom, and had to shimmy round so I was head first then slid down and cried laughing.

And the other day I walked past the TV in our bedroom, my foot caught on the wire and it fell on my back. I couldn't move as it was balanced on there like I was a tortoise or something. DH was laughing at me, I was not amused!

No, my name's not Michelle Grin

ExitPursuedTheRoyalPrude · 27/01/2014 13:08

I have soooo many accidents.

My latest, yesterday, was being hit in the face by a swede we had just hung up in DD's horses stable.

It bloody hurt I tell ya!

Made my nose bleed.

JingleMyBells · 27/01/2014 13:10

About three years ago I was at the bus stop with ds who was about 7 at the time. He was stood on the bench bad mother but the bench wasn't solid, it was 3 metal poles a few I inches apart. Anyway, he slipped and his leg got trapped. No amount of twisting and pulling would free it and I had to call the fire brigade who dismantled the bench Blush