Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

[SnakeyMcBadass]

I got up to check on the DC last night and tip toed across the squeaky landing. Returning to the bedroom, I somehow managed to walk/bump into the lever door handle. The door handle threaded itself down the side of my pants, stopping any forward motion of said pants. My arse, however, was still in motion. I was still on tip toe, managed to get a front bum wedgie, and tip forwards. I put my hands out to stop my fall, and DH woke up to find me doing a weird half handstand while attached to the door and muttering 'Fuck, fuck, fuck'. He pissed himself laughing rather than helping to free me, the bastard. I have a cracking bruise on my hip and a carpet burn on my elbow, but the pants are still intact. I am quite impressed by the engineering, tbh. Anyone else hung themselves upside down from a door?

My friend swallowed 10p walking into a concrete lamppost in the 80's, it really was hilarious especially when nobody would believe us, I still don't know the outcome of that one.who carries money in their mouth?

Oh God. The CCTV! Genius.

This thread is just what I needed

Was that last year? I slipped on the black ice last year, it just looked so un-icy!

In my teens I was out for a walk with my brother. He spotted a little bag up a tree, called me over to see what I reckoned it could be. I stood under the tree, looked up and with impeccable timing the fucking thing fell on my head and burst. It was dog shit.

When I was tiny in my pram, my DM had taken me to visit my cousin's horse. The horse accidentally trod on her foot, she shrieked, he lifted his foot up in a fright, reared, caught my pram with his foreleg and sent it flying in a perfect somersault through the air. The pram landed and I was still safe, sound and hadn't even woken up!

A few years later, the same cousin and I were on the waltzers. For some reason we had the giggles and I, still a small girl, had slid out from underneath the safety bar and was huddled in the foot of the waltzer, weeping with mirth. Every time the waltzer passed DM and my aunt they would frantically shout to my cousin to do something, but she was laughing too hard to pick me up! It was very funny hearing them try and shriek one-syllable advice as we whizzed past.

When I was about 3 I got the hooked handle of a umbrella stuck in my mouth. The brolly was up and my mum was pissing herself. She just twisted it and it popped out.

When I was a bit older I was spying on the neighbours. Our hedge had chicken wire along it so the dog couldn't escape through. I fell, head first, between the hedge and the wire and couldn't get out. Wedged inbetween, legs in the air, I shouted for ages until mr next door heard me.

I grew up on a farm and, since we didn't have garbage pick up at that time, we burned all of our garbage. It was my job to do this every couple of days. I would grab the garbage and put three or four strike-anywhere matches in my back pocket and head out to the burn barrel.

Well, one time, I slipped and fell on the ice while walking out to burn the garbage. As I landed, I felt a sharp little pain in my butt, but was other wise unhurt. I couldn't figure out what that sharp pain was though. I had never felt anything like it. That night, when I got undressed, I discovered the answer. There was a little hole burned in my underpants... Two of the matches in my pocket must have rubbed together and lit when I fell but where then immediately extinguished by my butt.

these are all great

a few years ago in the heavy snow I was walking across the front garden when all of a sudden my right leg disappeared down the small well in our garden.for a few minutes I was stuck with one leg completely under the snow/well.the only way for me to get out was to lie in the snow and raise my leg out as I lay down.really funny but only me there to see it.

I picked dd up from yr r one day and the tas were in fits of laughter.they were watching dd at break eat her banana and said how good she was going to put the skin in the bin.in front of them she dropped the skin and then trod on it - you can guess the rest.

ExH was obsessed with fishing and suggested that we go with two friends of ours, neither of whom were remotely interested in fishing ( neither was I) Anyway, friends and I decided that's few beers might make the day more bearable, and proceeded to get bladdered on the river bank. I was fiddling with my folding chair trying to get it to lean backwards, but somehow managed to fall forwards, and the chair collapsed, clamping itself onto my arse like a giant clothes peg. I slid face first down the banking with the chair still firmly clamped, landing in the mud at the very edge of the river, arse, and chair in the air. Friends howled and drunkenly tried to remove the offending appendage, but only managed to fall in themselves. Exh was outraged stamping his foot like toddler whining that we were "scaring the fish off"

Oh I love these, hilarious!

When I was in 6th form I was walking to get the bus at about 7.30 am. It was icy and I had to go a little way down a hill before crossing over to my bus stop. Just before I crossed I slipped and fell on the ice and couldn't get back up! Every time I tried to get up I just slipped again. Everything had fallen out of my folder and was all over the pavement. And then a double decker bus pulled up next to me to see if I needed help. I was totally mortified.

shamelessly place marking!

Some years ago DD1 (5) managed to lock herself in the loo in a large mothercare store as the lock was broken and stuck shut. Sooooo being unable to find anyone around to help I climbed over the top of the door to release her.

My jeans caught as I went past a hook on the inside of the door, held me suspended briefly and then ripped...all the way from waistband to crotch!

I rescued my daughter than, mustering up as much dignity as I could, with my pants on full view, went to custom services to complain! They did pay for new jeans

My DH sat down with some force on of those sun lounger things but was off centre, the whole thing tipped up and catapulted the cat who was sleeping on it across the garden. The look on the cat's face was priceless and she was very miffed at us laughing our heads off.

Not me but DH (who coincidentally has driven vans pretty much all of his adult life so really should know better)
He had the side door open and on preparing to walk away, slid the door shut with the wrong hand (he still can't adequately explain how it actually occurred) and trapped his hand in the side of the door furthest from the handle. Fortunately it clicked shut but not fully IYSWIM so he was stuck, unable to reach the handle but not in terrible pain.
Why he felt the need to ring me and tell me he was stuck
escapes me as all I could do was lie there weeping with laughter until someone came and released him :o
He also slipped on ice in the road one day. I was quite sympathetic until he told me that a big lorry had stopped to let him cross and he crumpled in a heap in front of it while the traffic backed up behind it. When he got to the part about being helped up by an elderly lady I thought I might break a rib from laughing :o

I'm crying with laughter here! I've got loads but I can't remember most of them!
I do remember being in a nightclub once, and falling down a flight of stairs.
Sober I'd have probably hurt myself, but cos I was a bit drunk I got up, unbent my cigarette and carried on! The bruises were quite fantastic!

I REALLY hurt my DH with socks.

Was knitting him socks for his Christmas, baby started crying upstairs, so, being a devoted kind of mother, off I scampered to attend to her latest whim.

I left the knitting on the floor, and because it was knitting on four needles, one of them was sitting upright. Like a little flagpole. Without any sort of warning flag, sadly.

DH trod right ontop of the needle, went in at his heel and out at his Achilles tendon. He said "oyah, that's nippy" or, something similar.

He's never worn those socks. And, worse, my very posh Boyes dpns have never been the same - one's got a right kink in it where it got bent round his heel bone. Bah.

I cracked my cheekbone, needed a tooth refilled and had two black eyes after getting my head trapped under my mum's dog's coffin (dog was in it, dead - GSD too so very heavy).

Ds was sitting on the kitchen worktop while I was making a pie today, he reached to the sink to get something and slipped off the side, I instinctively reached out to grab him forgetting I had a really hot spoon in my hand that I'd been putting the meat in the pie with so instead of heroically catching him poor little bugger got smacked round the ear with a hot spoon midway to the kitchen floor. I almost wet myself.

I once got up to take the dishes away after tea and tripped over my own feet threw the plate of leftover food at Dh filling his work shoes with hotdog.

I'm rather accident prone I once cut my arm open falling off the toilet.

I'm looking forward to reading this thread

In the meantime I've been reminded of the time I was sitting in my car and actually saw someone slip on a banana skin that had been carelessly discarded on the ground, cartoon-stylee !

A bag of flour falling onto my head as I tried to cram baking ingredients into the top cupboard in a hurry (going out to theatre). I was all in black, and it was a proper cartoon style covering of flour.

DP had to vacuum me to get it off, but obviously missed some. We walked to theatre in rain and I slowly got a paste/gluey layer forming over me.

In my 20's I was lying on the floor doing some exercise, I used a thick rubber rope as resistance training, holding it in both hands as it was round the bottom of my feet, I was doing well pushing my legs in and out when I got an almighty big slap up the face! It had rolled off my feet and I ended up with a very swollen face and nose, a big red welt right across my face, luckily it just missed my eyes.

A minute later while I was lying there stunned the doorbell rang, it was the insurance man, then I had to go into work on nightduty, the Sister gave me cotton wool soaked in witch hazel to reduce the swelling. When I told people what had happened they went into hysterics!

I must say though, my Sister rang me one night in a panic to say my Niece had got the tip of her tongue stuck in her brace, I had to put the phone down as I couldn't stop laughing, the poor thing had to go to a@e and have a small snip to the tip of her tongue

Me and oh hadn't been together long and he was sat in my mums lounge chatting to my family trying not to look as terifed as he clearly felt I went to get him a drink, came back in the room and instead of passing it too him I just let go! Covered him from head to foot in ribena :) he was not impressed!!
Also, in my yoof I worked in the local co op. We had a shop lifter, policeman came along very quickly and and we went to look for him (small village) as I bent down to get in the car, I slammed the door shut on my head!! God knows how I managed it, my body wasn't even in the flipping car but my stoopod hand just pulled the door shut! I kinda slid into the car, policeman had totally noticed and was trying not to laugh :)

Crushed by a dog coffin Where is the justice, eh?