Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

[SnakeyMcBadass]

I got up to check on the DC last night and tip toed across the squeaky landing. Returning to the bedroom, I somehow managed to walk/bump into the lever door handle. The door handle threaded itself down the side of my pants, stopping any forward motion of said pants. My arse, however, was still in motion. I was still on tip toe, managed to get a front bum wedgie, and tip forwards. I put my hands out to stop my fall, and DH woke up to find me doing a weird half handstand while attached to the door and muttering 'Fuck, fuck, fuck'. He pissed himself laughing rather than helping to free me, the bastard. I have a cracking bruise on my hip and a carpet burn on my elbow, but the pants are still intact. I am quite impressed by the engineering, tbh. Anyone else hung themselves upside down from a door?

Just remembered another one

Went skiing with the school back in the day, only a friend and I had been before so decided to show off to the rest of our mates that were in the beginners ski school.

Came flying past them down the slope and decided to jump a large pole of snow at the side. Only it was a huge drift and we both ended up stuck upside down with only our legs and skis sticking out we were hauled out by the most gorgeous French guy which only made it worse

Then later on we were racing straight down this run , tried to slow down at the end only to find my legs wouldn't obey me so ended up taking about 30 French kids about 6 years old out as I ploughed through them like ninepins. Their instructor was NOT amused

They eat them! :) it's like a boredom breaker, hang it on a rope away from a wall and it gives them something to do so they don't get bored!

I have two...

DS was about 4 and we'd taken him to Butlins. He had been happily playing on the crazy golf course and he'd looked so cute in his little yellow coat and bobble hat that I decided to take a photo. You know when you can't quite get everything in the frame and you tell your subject 'back a bit', well I did that and DS kept going back.
Unfortunately the bit of the golf course I'd chosen to take his picture was the windmill and I successfully backed him up until the sails of the windmill came around, lifted him clean off the floor and flung him 10 foot to the side. I'm ashamed to say I cried with laughter whilst DH picked him up from his heap.

The other featured my late FIL who thought it would be funny to leapfrog a concrete post whilst wearing a knee length kagool. He cleared the post ok but unfortunately the back of his kagool snagged on the top of the concrete post resulting in him being flung forwards and headbutting the bottom of the post. Nobody could help him as everyone was in tears of laughter while he hung upside down from the post.

When he was wee, my uncle had to go to school wearing a pair of wool shorts that his granny had knitted for him. He hated them and ran away at lunchtime, taking them off and running round the hills in his pants. He disturbed a beehive and got stung repeatedly on his arse.

Oh and checkpoints just reminded me of another.

We'd been to the War Museum in Salford, the building itself is pretty spectacular architecturally and Ford were doing a photoshoot outside for the orange Focus ST. DH was so transfixed he walked straight into a lamp post. The bruise was huge.

What makes this still funny is that a couple of years on Ford still use it as a backdrop and every now and again there will appear a billboard near our house of the orange ST outside the Museum. Every time I see it I can't help but dissolve into fits of laughter

I'm walking round with DD in a sling trying to get her to sleep but keep disturbing her by snorting!

Sitting in an MNers for coffee with DC3 when she leant over the toybox and promptly fell in. Of course we both laughed and cried instead of helping her. Totally worthy of You've Been Framed.

At an outdoor party I saw a rather large bloke on a spindly legged chair fall over backwards in very slow motion as the back two legs sank into the grass. He tried to style it out and kept drinking as he lay on his back still sitting on the semi buried chair.

My sister dislocated her knee aged 11 and had to have it all plastered and bandaged. She had to wear my mum's knickers to go over the plastered knee and mum's skirt for ease of going to loo, getting dressed and undressed etc. She had to go to the orthodontist and wobbled into the room with her crutches, however her crutch went on the slippery fabric of the skirt and she collapsed in an enormous bunch of acryclic static. Everyone rushed over to help and restored her to her feet, a minute later, her knickers fell down, she calmly stepped out of them and mum put them in her handbag without saying a word. Priceless!

I was in quite a serious fight with someone and got glassed and then hit over the head with a large, ceramic garden gnome.
Okay i needed a lot of stiches at the time and it was pretty horrific but it is funny to see peoples faces when i tell them how i got the scars on my face:
'Yeh i got hit over the head with a gnome.'

...maybe its just my sense of humour....

A few years ago, I parked up outside a friends house. She lives at the top of a (luckily not steep) hill, and it was a cold morning. I popped the handbrake on, and left the car in reverse just in case, and jumped out of the car, waving at my friend who was at the window.
I closed the car door, then realised the car was moving, a split second before I realised I was moving too. Unknown to me, there was black
Ice all over the hill. I slid down the hill, hanging onto the side of the car, my feet frantically trying to get a grip on the ice, while I was trying to open the car door so I could get in.
The car stopped when it ran into the patch of grass which was at the bottom of the hill. Unfortunately, while the car was able to bump up the kerb, I wasn't. My feet hit the kerb and stopped, but the top half of me, still hanging onto the car, carried on going. I ended up face first in the grass, shoeless, about 10 feet behind the car, covered in grass stains. Stood up to see my friend sliding down the same hill on her arse, laughing her head off.
No damage done to anyone luckily!

I was getting off a train one night, quite late. I was the only person in my carriage. I had quite a heavy rucksack on my back.

The train stopped, with me waiting anxiously by the door because I was (and always am) really paranoid about not getting off in time. Except the door did not open.

I looked all around for a button to press to make the door open. There was no button.

I managed to get my panic under control and tried to work out what was happening. Right, I thought, it must be an old-fashioned kind of train where you have to pull up the handle on the outside of the door by putting your hand out the window.

Ok. Window. Window. Sash window kind of affair. Pull it down. Wont budge. (I found out later you have to squeeze the metal bit at the top together to get it to open) Pull it down a bit harder. It budged, but only a bit. I managed to wriggle it down by pure brute force and hysteria to about the halfway position. I thought maybe it would be enough as I am quite tall so I start waggling my hand out of the window to grab the door handle.

I cannot reach the handle. Reaaaaaach wagglewagglewaggle. No handle. Streeeeeeeeetch, wimper in panic, wagglewaggle... fingers brush the handle.

Shit shit shit the trains going to go any second now. Right, ok. There's a sort of very slight ledge/projection a few centimeters up the door that will give me the extra leverage I need. I manage to get my tiptoes onto this sticky out bit at the bottom of the door, and make a wild, last-chance grab for the door handle

I got it. I yanked the handle and the door opens. Except that I now find myself in position of standing on a rapidly-opening door, with one arm through a half open window, clinging onto the door handle. The combined weight of me and my massive backpack really makes the door fly open, and out I go with it. At one with the door.

The train door and I describe a perfect arc through the air until the door slams, with not inconsiderable force, into the side of the train. With my arm acting as a cushion.

I slid down the door and onto the platform and stagger off to the taxis. I heard a lot of muffled laughter. A few broken fingers, and a bruised pride. It must have lookd hilarious though.

I've just remembered when DH and I were going on our first proper date, we had tickets for Russell Howard and I was stressing about getting ready in case we were late.

I sat on the iron! It was on the floor because I didn't have an ironing board, pointy end up and it went right up my bum. I first panicked thinking "Oh shit that's the iron, it's going to burn me!" and stood up as quickly as possible, then realised it wasn't that hot but it fucking hurt because I'd just sat on a metal pointy thing and was then alternately crying from the shock and wheezing with laughter imagining what Russell Howard would say if for some reason I was picked on out of the entire audience to tell my story

Was really uncomfortable all night as well...

Ouch Psammead!

dh went to lift extremely heavy chest from top of wardrobe, it was so heavy his body bent and he impaled his arse on the pointing chair back. he wasn't the same for a good few weeks after...

i also heard of a friends BF who had been horrid to her, get his balls some how trapped in the mechanism of a ladder, that made me laugh too.

A friend at University was walking down the road latest night (under the influence) eating chips and beans. He was chatting to us and not watching where he was going, which was straight into into a lampost - beans everywhere!

Oh this is so going to out me but what the hell....

DH and DS off are to work and unfortunately DH hadn't realised that its black ice outside. The first I knew of this is when DH came stumbling into the house in agony saying he'd fallen. He really did hurt himself and didn't go into work that day. It was only later when speaking about it to a friend she said 'oh but you have CCTV, I'll bet you've watched that back a few times haven't you?' It hadn't occurred to me so instantly rewound the CCTV and dissolved into fits of laughter. Not sure what amused me more, DH's fall or the way DS stands there looking at him. Anyway, pressured by said friend to Youtube it the video went around all of our friends and family so we could all laugh at him. Fortunately he has a good sense of humour...

I have got such a headache reading all of these

When I was 12 my mum left me home alone for all of twenty minutes, in daylight. While she was gone, I thought I heard a noise, so retreated to The garden and climbed the apple tree. I then heard the doorbell and jumped out of the tree to answer it. The hem of my skirt caught on the branch and I was left there dangling, with my knickers on full view. The ringing continued, followed by frantic knocking and the sound of my now near-hysterical mother calling my name. Eventually she came through the side gate and saw me. I would like to say she helped me down immediately, but the truth is she laughed so hard, she was unable to do anything for a few minutes, while my affronted young self muttered darkly, 'I'm 12 years old and these aren't my best pants. Get. Me. Down!'

Honey I can remember you posting this a while back after I had told my woes of disappearing under friends car.

I love your sons reaction. Quality!!

I was visiting family and they'd put up a bed for me and one for my son in the single room. There wasn't much room between the beds, certainly not enough to walk up the side of the bed. Being six months pregnant, I had pretty bad SPD and had to roll to get off the bed, unfortunately I got it wrong, slipped and fell head first between the two beds. With my huge bump I couldn't push myself back up. I tried calling, then shouting for help, but nobody could hear me. So it wasn't until I banged on the floor, that said relative came up to find my legs in the air and the rest of me stuck between the two beds. Apparently it was an amusing sight.

emotional I think I did post it ages ago then NC'd. DS did redeem himself though, he got around the corner and found a man who'd slipped and broken his leg. It's at the top of a hill and the ambulance couldn't get up. He waited for the paramedics and then helped the crew inch the poor man to the bottom of the hill and into the ambulance. He was very late for work that day.
It was a funny day all round that, our local A&E was overrun with casualties of the black ice because it just didn't look icy. Nobody could stand up at all which was hilarious with DH (just bruised pride) but not so with many others.

I love how your DS inches tentatively across the car, holding onto the boot all the time then all of a sudden Wheeeee there goes your dancing on ice champion DH! Your son's reaction was absolutely priceless! Brilliant video and brilliant thread! I cannot stop laughing, proper cackling, snorting belly laughs! God knows what the neighbours will think!

purple a relative posted on DH's facebook the other week asking when his annual performance for DOI was going to be Rest assured if he does it again it will be uploaded haha

Years ago I was working in a pub, I'd just taken a customer's money and stepped back from the till to hand him his drink - and disappeared straight down the trapdoor to the cellar which I'd left open after changing a barrel!

When I landed I was still holding the drink, and immediately downed it. I spent the rest of my shift on the other side of the bar in shock, whilst the boss covered the bar in a rare moment of understanding!