A dog shat on my picnic

[marmaladetwatkins]

So I threw all of my picnic food in the bin because it made me feel like vomiting my spleen out. DH says I was being a bit OTT but honestly, I do not like dog shit.

WIBU to waste food after a dog shit on my picnic blanket?

Marmalade, I empathise.

Dirty shitter.

(the dog, not you).

Oh my god, I missed half of this thread whilst typing, and I have ruined my mascara laughing at this post!

This has really made me laugh, which given I am ib bed with tonsilitus is no easy task

Not only would I have not eaten my sandwiches, I would have snatched them from dd's mouth as well and gone back to the car with the hump.

And if I was the owner I would have been grovelling like crazy.

But it is funny though because it happened to you and not me

Honestly, it ruined my day. I spent £20 on picnic goodies on saturday to take with us and I ate the sum total of 20 pee's worth.

I have a dog, but would have been mad if it were me. And would have thrown food away too, yuck yanbu

She didn't grovel, she laughed, gaily laughed about it. Honestly, I wish I had some balls sometimes. I should have punted the dog into the river like a rugby ball JOKE.

I actually cannot believe your Dh thought it was acceptable to carry on with the picnic...

Chocolate mousse anyone???

lolol at the whole thing

Three legged dog
Shat (yes shat is one of the funniest words ever)
caca
Dog chods (lol at that, I have never heard it before)
Dog shat on a mat

I am also laughing at the vision of a three legged dog getting all frisky because he has the shits and needs to go NOW

Dh said "none of it landed ON the food" then looked at ME like I was the one going round shitting on picnics because I didn't want my lunch.

No, honestly you SHOULD have punted the dog into the river, along with the bitch of an owner

What kind of dog was it? I really need to know so I can fully picture it!
Really needed a good laugh so thank you for sharing this with us- is this what they mean by 'a dogs dinner'?.
I used to know a three-legged dog - it was called tripod!

Yes I am only laughing because it happened to you.

If it had happened to me I would be utterly incensed, and I would have chased the amputee dog with a baguette, or threw some scotch eggs at his head

I have no idea what kind of dog it was. If I had to describe it I would say a boxer spliced with a pig. Weirdest looking dog I have ever seen. Plus it was a weird colour, grey and brown and black pebbledash it looked like.

Yes - what dog was it? Was it an old english sheepdog which had clods of shite stuck to its arse post evacuation?

Or a greyhound, for full three legged hopalong cassidy comedic value?

"or threw some scotch eggs at his head"

I had scotch eggs

More importantly... Did the dog ruin a picnic with own brand food or branded?

:)

It is your blanket which was pebbledashed, mate

my friends toddler picked up and bit a chunky dog poo.

I have tried to bury that memory because the image used to come back to me when I was eating a tortilla wrap or similar.

Loving how everyone who makes a joke about kicking the dog or pelting with Scotch Eggs then writes JOKE and hides from Valhalla.

lol at that.

Don't ever buy a Buffet snack from a service station. That also looks like a petrified dog turd.

GOML I'm just waiting for Valhala to pitch up...then we are all in trouble .

I fecking hate dogs

No wonder it had a pebble-dashed appearance with the viscosity of doo-doo it is prone to passing.

A mix of branded/non-branded Mumofaflump

We had Quorn mini eggs (oh yes we did), Sharwoods mini poppadoms, stumpy bottles of Kronenberg Blanc, Haribo, Hula Hoops. Own brand chicken wings, crisps and soft drink.

Get this, my mum turned up an hour later and she got out a bottle of ROLA COLA. The champion of all own-brand foods.

This has had me howling. DS, who is 3, asked me what I was laughing at. I told him a dog did a poo on someone's picnic and he really, honestly ed at me and wandered off!

snurk