A dog shat on my picnic

[marmaladetwatkins]

So I threw all of my picnic food in the bin because it made me feel like vomiting my spleen out. DH says I was being a bit OTT but honestly, I do not like dog shit.

WIBU to waste food after a dog shit on my picnic blanket?

I did have a dog do a great splattering shit right in front of my stall at a craft market last month. And its owner then asked ME for plastic bags to dispose of said shit, which was not all that easy what with it being a splattery one.
No wonder takings were down.

YES! The thread title appears to have had its confused tenses righted by the powers that be.

Thank you, MN Gods.

AND we're in Classics!

And it's in Classics, marmalade. Did you want to be remembered as the Poster Who Had a Tripod Dog Shit on her Picnic?

Tough

I had to grin at the Freudian nature of: "I spent £20 on picnic goodies on saturday to take with us and I ate the sum total of 20 pee's worth."

And I have tears of laughter in my eyes from 'scanning the horizon for less-than-averagely-legged dogs', and Vallhala dragging GetOrf out for a good kicking behind the bikesheds, for advocating violence towards poor little doggies with MDSB.#

- Multi-directional splatter bottie!

MNHQ Tech's wife: what did you do at work today, darling.
MNHQ Tech: due to a discussion on scat semantics, changed the word SHIT to SHAT
MNHQ Tech's wife:

I would like to be remembered as the poster whose thread saw the phrase "Don't shit on my picnic" become widely-used in the English vernacular.

Multi-directional splatter bottie. That is IT. That is EXACTLY what this hell-hound had.

And ROAR at the addition of Gabby ARE YOUR AREA PROSECUTING

GetOrf... some people have the best jobs!

I can't imagine the person who typed SHAT doing so without really laughing, and thinking 'I love this job'

Dog shit on the brain now - just made TURD watchin Countdown

Honestly, you WILL think of this thread at dinner time and you will think of soupy-dog-arse-gravy and you will not want your dinners.

Nobody will be having sausage and mash for dinner, that's for sure.

Or oxtail soup.

Or chocolate fondue.

Or sausages. Sausages look like dog shits.

Oh durrrrr you said sausages GOML

Cumberland rings.

It resembled mushed-up Weetabix. Remember that.

Or beef olives

PMSL at this thread.

What is really bizarre though is that, despite "less-than-averagely-legged dogs" being quite rare, we saw one last weekend whilst we were having a picnic (an equally rare sight) at a country park.

Phew! Sounds like we might have had a lucky escape.

at beef olives.

Am sat here crying with laughter whilst DS is giving me a look.

Told him why and he said 'Mummy thats not funny, the poor lady was probably really hungry and you wouldn't like it if it happened to you'

YANBU, a pigeon shat/shit on my chicken nugget once whilst it was on my fork ready to be eaten. I couldn't eat nuggets for 3 years.

"YANBU, a pigeon shat/shit on my chicken nugget once whilst it was on my fork ready to be eaten"

Well fuck my old boots. That pigeon must have had a brilliant aim! Perhaps it could give lessons to old Hopalong Cassidy from yesterday?

beef olives

faggots in gravy

tins of minced beef in gravy

the slop inside a fray bentos pie