A dog shat on my picnic

[marmaladetwatkins]

So I threw all of my picnic food in the bin because it made me feel like vomiting my spleen out. DH says I was being a bit OTT but honestly, I do not like dog shit.

WIBU to waste food after a dog shit on my picnic blanket?

Marmalade,this is the side splittingly,eye wateringly,gut wrenchingly funniest thing I have read on MN for ages.

I am very sorry about your picnic,but thank you so much for making me laugh more than I have done in months!!

Roaring here

Thank you Marmalade!

SGB I remember that!!!

A pigeon shat in my mum's cup of tea at the seaside once. The splashback took out her fish and chips.

Missmiss: Sure it was a pigeon and not an incontinent hang-glider (or indeed hang-gliding dog)?

I dreamt about beef olives last night. I dreamt I had to make them for DS's school project. I woke up feeling queasy. I don't want breakfast :(

I don't know what beef olives are. I refuse to look at the link someone 'kindly' posted here; I fear they would dog my dreams and even my waking hours if I knew.

@ "dog my dreams"

Yeah, didn't occur to me until I'd typed and posted. Curiously and pleasingly apposite though, no?

A beef olive is a thin slice of beef rolled around a stuffing of some sort, then cooked in the oven - it may be served with gravy, I believe. I have had beef olives in the past, and found them very tasty, however, I can see how, in the light of this thread, they might be less than appealing now!!

The mention of gravy made me .

Now can't get the image of dog turd and bum gravy out of my head.

Lolololol - sorry helium and BringBack!

I used the phrase 'don't shit on my picnic' last night, and laughed uncontrollably!!

Walter, congrats on being (possibly) the first to introduce this phrase to the public lexicon!

It feels good!

I prefered 'a dog shit on my picnic.'

Walter - you are a legend.

Came across this thread yesterday, just shown DH - absolutely brilliant!

We (DS and I ) have spent the day in our communal garden with neighbour and her DD and other neighbour, his dog and tortoises!!

Neighbours dog was sat on the edge of my blanket when DS exclaimed loudly "dog X, please don't do a poo on my mummies blanket".

Cue my neighbours looking at me like whilst I hyperventilate with laughter. .

Omg

I have laughed and laughed.

Thank you soooo much I needed this. [bugrin]

marmaladetwatkinsMon 18-Apr-11 13:08:43

I didn't just LET him shat on my picnic, I opened my mouth to say "NOOOOO!" but before I could utter a word, my picnic blanket had been well and truly fertilised. Honestly, it all happened so fast. I don't think it was trying to shat ona my blanket, it was aiming for the grass but tbh it had the consistency of soup it would have been hard to accurately aim. Probably even harder when balancing on three legs.

Why would I take a picture of a sloppy dog shit? are you sick or something? There are website for people like you!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA fucking hillarious, why am I only seeing this now?