Expecting twin girls with two toddlers, any advice on coping?

[Woolymommoth]

I’m expecting twin girls in August and I’m petrified, they’re the first twins in my family so I don’t feel I have anyone to talk to about how to cope. I also have 2 boys, aged 2 and 1. The girls weren’t planned so I feel like the whole pregnancy I’ve just been thinking about practical things like money, getting a new car, dividing up bedrooms etc and now they’re due so soon it’s become real that I will have 2 newborns to care for as well as my toddlers. Does anyone with twins, or twins and toddlers have any advice on how to survive please?

Okay the good news... Its more like coping with 1.5 babies! You feed one then the other...or both at once if necessary. Change one then the other etc so its only one trip to the changing mat or getting stuff out.

Routine is essential. My eldest was 2 when the twins came. I survived with lots of distractions for her whilst I did the practical stuff for the babies, resorting to baby TV on occasion. I kept her in nursery part time, which whilst expensive kept me sane! I was stricter with sleep routine, unlike with my 1st, so I could have quality time with the toddler.

I had a tote bag for when I was feeding, stuffed with fidget toys, and favourite books. A big comfortable armchair, I would read to her and she would snuggle in and turn the pages. All went back in the bag until the next feed. It meant she saw that as Mummy time, with the attention on her, rather than something to compete for.

When people arrive and ask to help give them a specific task. "yes please! Could you pop the washing machine on? Make me a sandwich as I haven't eaten?" Don't be shy, otherwise you will end up running about making cups of tea, whilst they sit there.

We were lucky to have them all in bed by 7, so I would flop on the couch for a few hours. I would be asleep by 9!

The first few months are survival mode! Husband was in charge of food shoping/meals/laundry. I had a cleaner twice a week.

My focus was recovering, and the wellbeing of the dc.

Ill pop back if I think of any practical tips x

Following as we are expecting twins in the autumn and have a high energy 2 year old!

What helped me…
Ask for help, people love to help with twins. A stranger once fed one of mine in a cafe!

whem one wakes in the night, wake the other for a feed too or they’ll tag team you

dont go to twins groups, no one has a spare hand to help you. In a standard baby group you’ll be the novelty and will feel supported

keep a sling under the buggy so you can pop a baby in it if the toddler is getting tired legs

your toddlers will be fine, don’t worry :)

Also I had a playpen downstairs it had a base that could be raised high up. Really helpful for popping the babies in safely away from toddlers when you need a wee!

Thank you so much everyone, it’s definitely making me feel a bit less anxious with some practical advice. Especially the one about not going to a twin group, I hadn’t thought about spare hands!.

I would try to potty train the two year old now if you can

Can you get one of those wagon buggies that Nurseries have

Refer yourself to homestart for a volunteer to come and give you a hand each week. They prioritise multiple births for support and most of their volunteers are great (and in the unlikely scenario you get one you dont like you can always ask for a switch or say you dont want them to come).

I disagree about not going to a twin group - it was a lifeline for me. Mums of older (toddler-pre school) twins literally swooped in and helped me through the door with the buggy, held crying babies, got me drinks etc. No one at “normal” baby groups even tried to help - they were not used to coping with two and all had their own babies!

Are your older two in any form of childcare? I would try to do some half days at least at pre school if you can. Join the local twins club. Accept all offers of help. Double buggy, buggy board and sling might work (and I would put a twin in the buggy with 1yo, and sling the other twin).

I have 4dc but Dts are the oldest. The hard baby bits seem relentless but don’t last forever!

That’s heartening to hear about your experience with twin groups. The ones here were focused on a limited age range so there weren’t toddlers there, I can see how that would be helpful.

another tip (albeit niche!) tip is to get slip on trainers. The number of times you end up taking your shoes on and off to go in and out of places is unreal! Basically double any trips in and out of the front door/baby groups!

My two year old is potty trained thank God! So I don’t need to worry about that!.

They’re not currently in nursery, it’s super expensive so I’m not sure if we could really afford it at the minute but I’m going to see how it goes with all 4 at home and if it’s something we need to do for my sanity then so be it, the waiting lists aren’t long by us so would be able to get them in fairly swiftly.

I’m also looking at a wagon or a 4 seater pushchair just to make life easier, but the current plan is to baby wear and have the boys in the double pushchair whilst the twins are tiny.

thank you again everyone!