what is the most helpful thing I could do for a friend with 5-day-old twins, one still in hospital and she's bfeeding both?

[Shitemum]

T2 in hospital is just underweight not ill, but they've discharged my friend so she spends all day bfeeding both babies at the hospital and then goes home with T1 to sleep. What a nightmare, it's hard enough getting bfeeding established with only one baby and in the comfort of your own home.

What is the one thing I could do to help her and her DP most?
Make food and take it round?
Go to the hospital and take a turn holding a baby?
Keep out of it and let them get on with it?

I have 2 small kids myself so not much spare time but do have 3 hours twice a week when DD2 is with CM.

Cooking meals would be good yes. Also if they would be comfortable with it washing, ironing etc.

Yes, i thought hanging up or taking in and folding washing would be good. Or washing up as they don't have a dishwasher.
Will make some banana cake I think...

I'd imagine she is caught up in a whirl of activity at the hosital etc which makes doing practical stuff like shopping etc hard. Could you offer to shop and drop a few things off to the hospital?

meals to have in the fridge/freezer would be a godsend for them

Cook, definitely.

A big nourishing casserole that they can heat up, then just drop it off at the door and leave.

I'd have loved that. Maybe do it more than once, just imagine not having to do that "...what the hell shall we eat tonight?" thing.

Fill her freezer! Go to hospital to keep her company and keep her spirits up. Tidy her house.

shepherds pie on a cold day like this

that would be so lovely

nice bunch of flowers or an orchid in a pot she can put in her room and not have to water much

home made banana cake sounds great - or fruit - or both!!

Yes make meals that can easily be frozen if not needed immediately - frozen either by you or her if she has room in her freezer.

Perhaps take drinks into the hospital. Some hospitals only have expensive vending machines and lukewarm tap water - perhaps some chilled fruit juice cartons/bottles of flavoured water or whatever she likes? Hospital shops and machines are expensive.

Make it easy for her to decline visits from you either at home or the hospital, rather than keeping clear completely. e.g. "I'd love to visit later but please say if you would prefer to be left in peace for a few more days"

Check she has enough personal items - breast pads, maternity pads etc. Even though her dh is probably more than capable, sometimes another woman makes better choices and gets the brand you might want rather than the first thing they see on the shelf!

Thanks for the ideas!
Am afraid of intruding, difficult to find the right balance.

Let her spend her time for the babies and do anything practical for her that you can. Cook, wash, iron and I also agree to make sure she has loads to eat and drink at the hospital.
Give her big hugs and let her know you are a shoulder for her.

Message withdrawn

Even an hour to myself once a week for a bath or a walk would have been bliss so my suggestion is offering just your time and friendship so that your friend can be by herself for a while with not having to worry about the twins. x

Definitely fill the freezer, that would have just been bliss! Any tidying/folding washing you can do without causing offence..

Pop to the shops if they need anything? How lovely of you to help your friend like this