Help- it's twins ...and will have an 18 month old too!!!

[Chattycat78]

Hi guys,

Just that. Had an early scan- they could see 2 yolk sacs and gestational sacs. I have a ten month old too. I know this is totally premature as we don't know what the next Scan will show but I'm literally terrified by the idea of newborn twins plus an 18 month old- how would we cope? How would we afford it? How would I ever have a life or a job ever again??? Help!!!!

No one got anything reassuring to say? I assume this means I'm doomed?

I have 4 week old twins and a 22 month old. I won't lie, it is difficult but so rewarding at the same time. We haven't experienced any jealousy yet either, which is good, although I imagine we will at some point!

I am unlikely to go back to work for a while after maternity leave due to childcare costs, but this doesn't bother me. As we had had one child, we already had some baby equipment (& we knew what was and wasn't needed with a newborn) and we have borrowed other people's things that they don't need/aren't using, which cut costs. We bought the double buggy second hand as well (it was as new in the box). So there are ways of cutting costs if you are happy to have second hand items. The way I saw it was the things we had for DC1 was technically second hand for subsequent children anyway!

Twins and a toddler is doable; it is hard work but wonderful (when they are all asleep.... )

You have to be organised, think ahead, be prepared and all that. I had twins with a 28mth gap and no help and ebf. I spent the entire day, from before getting up, planning the day so I could get them into bed at bedtime - and go to bed myself.

Everything happened in a whirl, was over fast and on to the next stage fast. Now they have grown up and buggered off to the other side of the world (except DS who will not leave home )

Take lots of photos of the nice bits . There are lots of nice bits.

I agree, lots of photos! It goes too quickly; the last four weeks have zoomed past and I want to freeze time!

Yes!! I want the last 22 years back!

(goes for a to calm down )

Thank you for replying??. If I'm honest, I'm still in shock. I hadn't expected to get pregnant again so quickly- if at all ( I had ivf for ds!) - let alone to be told there are two! It's just such a game changer- like work- there will be no point in going back due to childcare costs. I suppose I'm panicking as I know how hard the last year has been with just ds, and I never for one second imagined having twins! Equally, I know that it's not a definite - the scan was very early on (5 weeks) and I believe vanishing twin syndrome is pretty common- I don't know whether either or neither are viable yet but this hasnt stopped my mind from going into overdrive. If I'm honest, it has made me feel differently about the pregnancy- like I'm going to be trapped in a nightmare. I feel very guilty about feeling like this. Hopefully this will pass if its going to happen.

Sorry just realised - the ? Should be a !

You are allowed to panic/fret/worry - it does not mean that you aren't deserving of a pregnancy, regardless of how many babies are in there!

I hope you have a happy, healthy pregnancy; twins are brilliant, as are singletons. You cope with one, and you will cope with the other (two squishy newborns!)

I was in shock - nearly drove in front of and ambulance on the way out from my scan, and DH and I failed to sleep the entire night.

It is allowed and perfectly normal.

Twins is doable - you just have to be quite a bit more on top of things and prepared, but there are lots of advantages as they get older.

Hope your pregnancy progresses well

Congratulations - twins are amazing!

My older son was 18.5mo when our twin boys arrived.

I won't lie, it's a challenging time but we are coming out of the early fog and things seem easier!

Recruit any help you can, an extra pair of adult hands is so helpful.

If I'm honest, being heavily pregnant with twins whilst managing a busy toddler was the hardest part of all of it.

Try and rest now whenever you can and eat well now because at the end you might not have the room!

Another poster here gave me great advice about having a few little goals for my toddler to reach before the twins came. The most helpful one was to try to have him feeding himself which we did and helped enormously.

You'll be surprised at how far your baby will come in the months between now and when the twins arrive.

Good luck and keep posting, there's great support here

Oh and my older boy is 2.1 now and the twins will be 7 months tomorrow!

Thank you all so much- the messages really help. I can imagine being pregnant is the hardest bit! I'm finding it very hard already as I feel constantly sick!! . I'll post an update after I have the scan- will have a better idea of what's what after that.

Hi guys- update....scan shows 2 heartbeats, both in line with dates in terms of growth. Yikes! This might be going to happen. In terms of getting organised, does anyone have a list or ideas for how we can start to get prepared even at this stage?

I had a cleaner for the end of my pregnancy and the first 6 months. One less thing to stress about. (my standards are lower now).

Find a twins club - useful to have real life companions.

Useful to get your little one In a routine that you can keep up once your hands are full - but don't stress about it - things change all the time at this age.

We bought DS a sandpit when the twins were born (late spring) and he spent hours in it, driving his cars around it. Probably worth keeping something like this back until the big day - something that keeps them occupied without your input (and easy to clear up).

Congratulations this is so exciting for you

I found that bouncy chairs were essential for keeping twins safe and getting them into position for tandem feeding.

I use the my Brestfriend twin feeding pillow and wouldn't be without it. I know lots of others swear by the Twin Z pillow too.

In the early days I had a big laundry basket in the bedroom full of babygros and vests for nighttime changes.

Bedroom was like mission control with baskets of nappies and wipes too.

We had a cot downstairs for the first 3/4 months where they napped which was easier than carrying Moses baskets around the place.

They napped a lot in their bouncy chairs in the early weeks as they were premature (born 35+6) so had catching up to do!

Accept all and any offers of help. We just said yes to any baby kit that people offered to us as well.

Try to surround yourself with positive people. I had a lot of negativity about how difficult it would be to have 3 under 2, and people can be very negative about twins sometimes. It IS a challenge but there are gorgeous moments in every day. My DS1 loves making his little brothers laugh now, it's so cute.

Two years ago I adopted a new born then a few weeks late found I was 13 weeks pregnant! I now have a two year old an 18 month old and new born twins. Not gonna lie it hard but so worth it. I love being a mummy so much

Honestly, its really not that bad, dont panic!!! We had 3 and 5 year old dd's when our dt's were born. I was fully expecting it to be a nightmare, but its not been too bad at all. They were 10 weeks early, 8 weeks in scbu, thats been the worst thing with the older girls having nursery/school and hospital being an hour away.
In all honesty, what can you do? Nothing really, just gotta get on with it... and time seems to pass twice as quick! Good luck

Thanks for all the feedback- it helps! I just need to try to get over the awful morning sickness now

I hope this is reassuring -

A young couple my daughter's age recently had premature twins. Their youngest was only 11 months old. Also have a two year old and a five year old and maternal grandparents the other side of the country.

So...four under 3 years old - a school run and a nursery pm run. I tell you, I could not have coped. However, I am full of awe at the way this family have managed. I know once the babies were born, they had no choice but it's a question of getting into a routine and not caring whether the kitchen floor has been mopped this week or not. I'm sure all will be fine. Accept any offers of help that come your way though.

Hello. I am a twin (b/g, im the g!) and my big brother was 16 months old when we were born, and then my mum left my father a year later and raised us on her own! She is a pretty awesome lady, my ma. But anyway, just thought you'd like to know I LOVE being a twin and love my big bro too and it worked out fine for us. Good lukc xx

Congratulations OP. I am a proud mother of triplets, who survived and also had a very active 18 month old at the time. Hard work but if you are organized it will be ok. I was amazed at the kindness I received from friends and family who were on hand to help.