Am I the only Mum in Mumsnet that didn't put my twins in a routine?

[Overrun]

I ask, not because I have a bee in my bonnet about any one who did. It's just that I haven't come across any one who didn't in the early months, first year yet. I just couldn't
On the other threads, do you don't you do this is a hot debate, but I haven't noticed this on the mutiple threads. Not that I want us all to have a hot debate!

i dont have twins but i will bump this for you

Overrun.... it's cos we're all so glad to have gotten through the first year and feel a sense of solidarity with there twin mums that we don't have the heart to say... my way was better so ner ner!

Some can, some can't. We love you!

there should say other

I had no routine, no such thing as far as I am concerned. I bathed them when I felt like it, they fed as and when they pleased, slept some nights didn't others, didn't always nap together or eat together. They are 6 , nearly 7 now and I have an older , a yonger one and another one on the way.
The onlky routine we have now is school and bedtime

Oh, I'm glad I'm not the only one, it's true isn't it, that people assume that the only way to cope with twins is routine? I am just not a routine type of person. Muddle through thats my motto, also just feel you have to start treating them as individuals from day one. Though know routine doesn't rule this out
As you say Mars, its an endurance test whichever way you chose

aaah, now I'm confused.... but I'm useless at routines so this is quite encouraging to know that it can work without ! I tried to get ds into a routine and found it far more stressful than letting him do his own thing.

Am I right in guessing that a lot of twin babies need special care after birth because of low birth weight and prematurity and the hospitals tend ot get them into routines before they go home?

I did have a vague routine when they were small, but mostly just muddled through in an exhausted haze and counted the minutes until I could crack open the wine

Not necessarily leogaela. My DTs were 4lb 5 and 5lb 14 at birth and they were fine. DT1 had a tube for a couple of days until they told me that once she was feeding from my breast they could go home. Threw the bloody tube away and got busy! lol

Whereabouts are you honey?

Sandyballs.... I used to have a glass of red at night. I'm sure it helped with the sleeping. (Certainly helped mine lol)

Mine didn't need special care either, but I do think it's quite common with twins. Mine were 3 weeks early and weighed 6lb 2 and 6lb 15! God knows what they would have been like if I'd gone full term . I love having twins, it's very special.

Marslady - I'm in Zurich! I'm going to dig around and see if I can find an expat twin organisation here.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...... I think I'll come over and help you for a wee while when they are born. Never been to Zurich!!

Oooh, that would be great Marslady!!!! Its a great place !

I guess its just important for you to decide how you want to parent your twins leogaela, just as you would with a single baby.
I only started this thread out of curiosity, so no vested interest here. Having said that I did get told by all and sundry that they only way I could manage twins would be to put them in a strict routine, i think if I had tried I would have ended up feeling a failure.
I did give it a go with waking one after one of them had fed at night, but the one I had woken used to not really feed because they were not hungry, and then I couldn't get him back to sleep, by the time he was getting sleepy he then got hungry, so would feed him, then other one woke up
So gave up in the end and just fed them on demand. Found that if they fed when they wanted they fed more and then slept better so it worked out in the end.
Just play it by ear, thats my motto

I think I'm quite concerned that I won't have time for DD if I don't have a routine for the boys. Probably a silly concern, but real to me! She's soooo precious! I really, really don't want to not have time with her on our own like we do now. Obviously the DH working away thing exacerbates that, and I don't want her to feel that she's suddenly been shoved in to the background because boys are everywhere all the time. Any ideas?

Its also something I am worried about. thanks for the reassurance Celia

I always tried to feed mine at the same time, so if one was hungry I always offered some to the other (didn't always want it!). They slept when they were tired (hopefully at the same times) and they had a bath when dd1 had her bath (they got dipped in next to her). They do have a sort of bedtime routine now and are in bed by 7pm - but that is because they don't sleep much during the day and are exhausted!
dd1 got better time with me after they were born than she did when I was very pregnant as I was so huge and uncomfortable towards the end it was an effort to even sit on the floor to play with her. Wheras after they were born I could move again and when they were both asleep I used to do stuff with her, even if it was her helping me prepare her tea or drawing/gluing.

leogaela it is hard finding that time with your oldest. My ds1 was 20 months when the twins came along.
Like Celia2 I would read to him as I fed them, and try and snatch time with him when they did sleep. Let the housework go hang.
Like some one else said further down this post, it does feel worth it when you see them all playing together.
i think us twin mothers do feel extra bad if there is an older child, I certainly felt "what have I done to him?", but in some ways there can be less jealousy as its almost a fait a compli, and there is not one new baby to focus bad feelings on, if you see what I mean.
My ds1 does occasionally say "Mummy I just want baby brother", but he is very proud of them as well. He particularly likes having too little ones to blame, so he says "It was dt1" and then when I look doubtful he says"It was dt2" without missing a beat

Routine whats a routine????

I know this was started ages ago, but for anyone who's still wondering...

Before I had twins I thought 'why me'? Every single friend or sister-in-law that I knew already had immaculate houses and routines with their children, and I was already living in chaos with just one. I thought I was the worst qualified to have twins, with my lack of organisation. But after I had them (they are now 3) all of these highly organised people have admired me and said they would never have coped because they freak out if they are not in control of everything, which is impossible when you have 3 kids within two years! I don't like chaos, but I had already learned to live with it, so I actually held up better than all the control freaks I know. I certainly added more routine than I did with my first son, but still nothing compared to some of my military style friends of one or two kids! Go with the flow and try to add just a bit of structure in order to keep your sanity, is what I say

thanks estar, as you say, sometimes you just have to give it up

I have boy girl twins and have no routine there 5months and my little girl naps in the day and she will go to bed around 9 till 4 but my little boy cat naps in the day and wakes up constantly at night i have tried black out curtains and putting him in the prem the sofa the bed the cot everything im a first time mum and need some advice xxx

I didn't, just went with the flow. Fed when hungry, changed when needed, bathed whenever (them not me!) I didn't have a timetable or much organisation, something that exists still. But when I say I had a routine it is more along the lines of the order of things rather than when they were done. I would say they chose the time when things were done really.

They slept through the night from 4 weeks but it wasn't to do with a routine, more that they were happy to do so.