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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

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Original poster

A stupid woman at the park said

26 replies

Twingirlsrock · 11/09/2012 21:24

I was happily swinging my very gorgeous girls - 10 months- on the baby swings today when a woman ambled up to me with a 3 month old baby on her.

She said she had been a nanny for twins and how awful it had been and then said " I wouldn't wish twins on anybody. I'm so glad I had one".

Now, I was so offended but just didn't want to engage with her on any level so just said nothing and looked at her in shock but now I wish I had really gone for it.

I think perhaps she saw I was pissed off as she then tried to say how lovely it is that they can play together now they are older as she visits them now and then.

I am so sick of people always shaking their heads and commenting on how hard it must be etc etc. But this was the worst yet.

What is wrong with people. My girls are just amazing.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

StinkyPig · 11/09/2012 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Twingirlsrock · 11/09/2012 21:41

The comments are just unbelievable aren't they. Next time I've promised myself I'm going to have some kind of stinging reply ready.... But it always ends up sounding defensive and I feel the opposite! I'm just tired of rude ignorant people.

OP posts:

SucksFake · 11/09/2012 21:52

I have twin boys, thankfully no-one has ever been as rude to me. I think I would've said 'well, I bet my girls are glad they have me for a mum rather than you then'!

Glittertwins · 11/09/2012 21:54

I've had the opposite, with people telling us they would love twins. I like SucksFake's reply though not sure I'd have remembered to use it.

LouMacca · 11/09/2012 21:59

I put these comments down to pure Ignore them.

I usually get positive comments, how they would have loved twins

ceeveebee · 11/09/2012 23:37

Yes I get loads of people saying they wish they had been lucky enough to have twins, especially boy/girl - if I had a £ for every time I have been told that I "don't have to have any more" as of everyone must have one of each before their family is complete

mummypigof3 · 12/09/2012 19:19

People just don't think do the? A so called friend said to me when I was pregnant with twins-"that was my worst nightmare." Which was so upsetting when I was all hormonal at the time.
I think it's something us twin parents have to get used to, not that I am!
Am defo going to use sucks fakes line...

Handsfulloffun · 12/09/2012 21:17

I really dont get why people think it's ok to say things like that, my DT's are 2 now and we have only had lovely comments recently.

Maybe it's the twin pregnancy/ baby stage prompts stupid and rude comments. Just when you need it the least.

Newtothisstuff · 12/09/2012 21:20

That's so rude !! You were a bigger person than me for keeping quiet.
Fwiw I think you are really lucky and if I ever happen to get pregnant with twins I'd consider myself lucky !!

beyoglu · 13/09/2012 06:37

I've had that a few times. I think people think it's worse than it is. We're at 4 months and, OK, the first 2-3 months was really difficult but it's got easier now and I comfort myself with the thought that I'm never going back to newborn again!

Natalietwins · 01/10/2012 01:22

How rude I would of kept quwite 2 otherwise I would of killed her stupid woman, u no you are lucky x

Aspiemum2 · 01/10/2012 01:27

She must have been a crap nanny tbh! Having twins isn't the hugely mammoth task people seem to think. Mine are only young still but tbh I've not found it as hard as people seem to assume it is.

Even when I found out there were 2 i was shocked but just thought "yay, lucky me"

I'd love more sleep though dts still not sleeping through

nothingbyhalves · 04/10/2012 22:46

I have a standard response to people who say to me "twins! double trouble!"
it is " not the case, just twice the hugs!" Also now ours are almost three, most of my friends who just have one want to come over for play dates, as dt's share their toys and play so well together (most of the time). Don't let it get to you, just enjoy them! x

FriggFRIGG · 04/10/2012 22:54

My bloody mother says "double trouble" to every single pair of twins she see's.
It's ridiculous!

She did it the other day whilst I was with her to a woman with two lovely newborn girls,I wanted to say something but I couldn't find the words....except to tell my mother it was a stupid thing to say...I'm trying to think of something witty for next time....

spartacusflapjack · 05/10/2012 07:08

We get 'double trouble' and 'you've got your hands full' about a dozen times every day. I've also had 'twins? how awful' and 'ooh, how on earth do you cope?'
My favourite is, upon seeing my clearly identical boys, 'ooh, are they twins'.
How I'd love to say, "No Madam. They are a pair of matching book ends!"

I do like how lots of people come and talk to us when we're out and about though. x

LaLoose · 05/10/2012 14:21

Just smile and wave... silly woman. Mine are now three and a half and people are stopping the comments because, finally, it's not so obvious that they're twins. I am conflicted about this and, perhaps, a bit sad.

PrincessScrumpy · 09/10/2012 20:38

The double trouble comment is one I meet with a beaming smile and a "no, it's double the cuddles".

Anyone says something bad I great with a massive smile and a "oh I'm sooo lucky" type comment.

the only ones that upset me are the ones suggesting I wish I had a boy. They don't get such polite responses!

I do remember when dd1 was a baby I met a twin mum and I was in awe. dd1 slept for an hour at a time if I was lucky and had colic and reflux so at the time, thinking all babies were like that, twins seemed horrific. Now I have twins so I understand those kind of comments and still feel bad for saying to the mum, something about her being amazing (it was complimentary but not very helpful).

deleted203 · 09/10/2012 20:40

How very rude of her! I have a friend who had 5 dc and was pregnant with 6th who rang me to say, 'I've just had scan and it's twins'. My response was, 'How fabulous! Lucky you' and she said, rather sadly, 'I've rung you because I know you are the only person who will say that'. I'd have loved twins personally.

beyoglu · 11/10/2012 09:07

There's a really overdramatic woman started going to the baby group I go to. When she saw us she was all like "OMG how do you COPE?" and I was like, well, it's not so hard now they're 5 months and I can feed them together, and she interrupted me to say "I suppose you just HAVE to don't you?" - no! It's genuinely not that bad! luckily last week another twin mum came and she was happy to join in the whole "motherhood=martyrdom" thing. wtf, I did IVF, I asked for two, I got two, job done, OK it's a bit much when they kick off in tandem but we're 6 months down and managing OK! Reasons to be cheerful...

Original poster

Twingirlsrock · 11/10/2012 20:57

Thank you all for your stories. It's not that I enjoy them (!) but the things people say to us...... It's unbelievable really.

Makes me feel a bit better about the comments I get... The woman in the park being the worst of those so far... But at least it's a generic thing and no reflection on any if us particularly.

Stupid people.

OP posts:

minesapintofwine · 11/10/2012 21:11

I would just ignore it I've had those comments too but I like it when people say they don't know how I do I must be supermum etc I just puff up my chest and say hell yeah I am!

RedBlanket · 11/10/2012 21:17

Mine are older, so im probably more used to it than some of you with babies. They're just acknowledging how difficult it is If you're only 3/4 months in, youve just scratched the surface [Wink]
Don't take it personally. Tbh I found it incredibly hard and if id had a choice I woulnt have had two at the same time. Not that I don't adore them both, obviously.

surfingbabies · 15/10/2012 12:55

It doesn't get better, mine are 8 now and I have to remind people of how proud I am that I have twins. I am now 7 months pregnant and the amount of people who ask is it twins again, when I say no they then say thank god! I reply with, you might want to thank god but I don't, I would have been over joyed to have twins again there's only a selected few of us who are blessed and I'm one of them

surfingbabies · 15/10/2012 12:58

I have boy girl twins and I love it when people ask if they are identical , my twins even laugh at this now

beyoglu · 26/10/2012 14:21

I had to just add this nice one... I was getting my flu jab done the other day and the pharmacist was like, "oh, twins! I've just had the one so far. I really wish I'd had twins because then I'd be done!" I suppose you can see it as a bit of a backhander but as that's totally my opinion, I was quite chuffed! The girls were helping of course, they look very charming in the buggy - she should see them when one is up to her elbows in baby food and the other one is crying in the highchair because she's just done a poo...

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