Question, My twins are now 4 1/2 and how long dare I leave it to have..

[TwoCotbeds]

...another baby?? Its very difficult because..

1. I'd like to wait ages !

I had a three year old when twins were born. Found it very very very hard, with no help at all from family or friends. Just moved to new area. Although twins are gorgeous and I love them soooo much.... I only just survived the experience but not really much enjoyment. So because of that ideally I'd like massive gap this time. Ideally 10 years, say.

1. I'm already 41 ! So long gap is out. But I conceived last few times ultra quick, first or second go. And my mum had me at 40, so maybe genes on my side. I know I probably can't wait at all.

I know this time I won't have a three year old but I'd rather have all kids over 5 , or 6 would be easier. Its gonna be hard any with three kids already, but I'll have no help at all again so need the older kids to not need me too much.

Argg what do you think ?

I really want a 4th DC, but how long dare I put it off ?
Twins have just started school -Only half days till January though. So when all three full time ??
Any advice welcome !

I think planning too much can go against you. What is more important waiting to get the gap you want even though you might not conceive at all, or having another baby while still able?

I had a 3.3 year old when dts were born, dts are also 4.5 and have just started school. But dc4 is 21 mths younger and is 2.5.

My 3 youngest even though close in age are easier than my 7 year old

I have a 5 yr gap between my twin boys and then DS 3. Have to say it's been brilliant! They all love each other so much and get on really well, even now DS3 is 18 mths and interfering with all their stuff! I would go for it now cos you don't want to risk not having a baby at all!!

I'm trying to convince OH to have #4 but I want a closer age gap this time.

What about if you have twins (or triplets), the risks go up as you get older and the more pregnancies you have...

Say if it takes 2 months to get pregnant and then 9 months of pregnancy, your current dc will all be a year older. I think at 5.5 they are much more independent than 4.5 going to school really marks a change.

If it's something you really, really want then I think you just have to go for it now under the circumstances. Even if you fell pg straight away the twins would be full time at school when the new baby arrives. Previous fertility / family history are no indication imo/e. The only thing that matters is that if you def want another, you need to get on & do it. If you are having doubts that outweigh your need / desire for another then yep, take time to think it through some more & be prepared that it might not happen at all.

thank you everyone- really wise advice. Gonna think long and hard. Realise that if it isn't soon then I'll have to live with it being possibly never.