Will my child hate her white side when she is older?

[Mscandylamb]

Hi all,

Im 36 weeks pg and my baby will be half african half italian. Me being the african. Her father and I are not together and he has blocked all contact with me regarding the baby. To put it frankly it was a ONS between me and this guy.. Im just worried that my child will end up hating her white side because of this utter rejection and because she has not been born yet I dont know wether she will take after him in looks or personality... She wont have any contact with her european half or his family which is sad and breaks my heart but I believe she is still a unplanned blessing from God. I bare to think how I am going to explain to her about her father...and why he didn't want her...
Thoughts??

Congratulations :) I don't think the main point is that she's half Italian, the main point is her father left her, which is sadly not so uncommon, and you will have to explain it similarly to other single mothers.

You are suggesting a lot of emotions which may or may not happen upon an unborn child. Chances are if you love and care for your child it won’t care about your unresolved issues.

I can remember getting in a state about what my child might make of things. Other things happened , but nothing I could have predicted!

Well if you don’t make it a race issue it won’t be. My children are mixed race. They don’t really seem to think they have two sides.

I'm white / my sons father is black. And his dad has abandoned him.
This is something I've never personally worried about and still won't.

It's how you bring the child up.
A baby isn't going to grow up hating its white father unless you teach hate. Your child will be around many different races and cultures.

Child will have views on the father one day... but it's how you portray him.

Unless you're going to bring up your child to hate white men I wouldn't worry.

You weren’t in a relationship with him. There is your starting point for his absence.. you wanted her, that is your answer.

why are you worried about her european family than not having a relationship with the actual father?

You tell her that he wasn’t ready to be a dad, not just to her but to any child. That it wasn’t her fault. That it’s ok to sad and angry because he let her down - parents are supposed to look after their kids. That he made a poor choice, because she is a great kid and anyone would be proud to be her parent.

She won’t grow up hating white people anymore than she will grow up hating all men or all people called Mattia or all Roman Catholics.