Ante-Natal Care and assumptions made about my heritage!

[1sttimemama1986]

I really just wanted to share my experience. I now have a DS 14 weeks old.

Whilst pregnant my mixed heritage seemed to become more of an issue. I am 1/2 white English and 1/2 st Helenian. My partner is Chinese.

At the booking in appt my midwife completed the ethnicity section without asking me, I am in my opinion brown like obviously so?!! She put WB (white British) and carried on. I was annoyed. When came to partners details she asked him albeit obvious he is Chinese she checked as she should. I decided to point out that I was not WB so she wrote my actual heritage down on part of my notes but not on the main ethnicity section. This irritated me, I highlighted the importance due to various things I understand I would be more susceptible to when pregnant etc.

Later in pregnancy we t for blood tests. Nurse commented on my lovely 'tan' and asked about my hols. I explained my heritage, she was like oh your notes say you are WB. I'm like seriously do I look WB. Ffs.

My 'tan' was also complimented the two times I got measured for bras when pregnant.

Like my mum is black with black ringlet hair. My dad is white with brown curly hair. I am brown skinned with features that you'd prob describe as 'white' It bugs me people seem to see me as a tanned person and thing is i can't believe this is the case? I do not have olive skin or a Mediterranean look I am fully brown in colour!!!

Like seriously??!! I may be sensitive to it but just wish people would ask rather than assume. Rant over.
Thanks for reading.

This happens to me all the time. You would think they would ask due to susceptibility to certain conditions (e.g. sickle cell) regardless of how you look. It could be a law suit waiting to happen. I asked my mum about this (who is 1/2 black 1/2 white) and she said that sometimes people have even put her down as WB, she thinks it's subtle racism as she's got a middle class British accent they assume she's not a poc?! Crazy to me s she obviously doesn't look white.

My health visitor specifically asked what I would class my daughters heritage as, she said she had previously upset someone unintentionally because she hadn't asked.

I'm sure if you picked her up on it she will have been mortified and now make a point of not assuming like mine.

I find that white people don't exactly assume my DD is white, but don't ask or assume otherwise.
She isn't Asian (she is half white and half something very unusual - my DC are adopted from overseas) but where we live there are lots of South, East and SE Asian families and all those families know she isn't white.
I do regard it as very subtle racism because I have also had comments like "she isn't THAT dark" (like it's bad to be dark) and "well what are you going to tell her?" (like it would be possible to pretend to her she's white? er what now?!)
Kind of like people want her to fit in/ think it's bad to be different.
Have never had it from HCPs though.