our dc growing up in 2 countries Vs disrupting their education

[falasportugues]

I'd love for my dc to live for a year or 2 in Portugal, and really get to absorb their father's culture, speak the language, etc etc, but am wrestling with the disruption it would cause to their education. It's not so much that they would miss English school for a year or so, just that it would be impossible for them to get back into their oversubscribed school once we came back, and they would probably have to go to a sink school. I had carefully chosen a school with surplus spaces with this option in mind, but it has now been closed (due to the surplus spaces!)and we were forced to choose between an oversubscribed school which were prepared to expand to fit our kids, and a school with a track record a mile long of not dealing with bullying.

Has anybody got round this dilemma? Any tips? Thanks.

I'm being wildly optimistic about work!

I think i would want to come back to the same place for housing issues, and friends and family, of course!

I don't know how realistic this plan is, Cat, but I just think the benefits for the kids would be worth some sacrifice, don't you?

i think it would be a great opportunity for the kids.

would there be any leeway at all in where you move back to in the UK though? could you stay in a similar area, but in the catchment for different schools perhaps? so still close to family and friends?

otherwise, you could put their names on the waiting list for the school they're at before you come back couldn't you? and just hope a space becomes available?

My half sister spent a few years abroad (not for same reasons as you) - it was enriching but it was when she was v. young and so it's a distant memory for her now.

I wonder whether ages are important. Put it this way she was educated in a tiny African country and came back for the last year of primary in an area where there were either grammars or sink schools. It was very hard and the education didn't translate well back here and there was no way she was going to pass her 11 plus with all the adjustments she needed to endure coming back to a country she didn't remember as she was so young when she left (they were overseas for 5 years).

My dh is very keen for ds to spend a year or two in his country but because the education systems are not really sync I do worry, particularly about coming back and having to be slotted in where they can find you a place. It's probably not something we'll do but we go to his home country loads and there's loads of his community on our doorstep.

Lovely idea in theory - see if it works for you.

thanks, giva a go, I think there are so many factors to consider, and i think lots of regular shorter trips would keep them grounded. like you say, adjusting after 5 years away is demanding... i might discuss with school about what length of trip away would be acceptable...

But depending on where you live in the UK they'd get their dad's culture anyhow no?

My ds hs regular contact here with his dad's culture. That's another reasone why I'd never ever consider living in my dh's country because my ds would never have access to his varied background there (same goes for me). But he does here.