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Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

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Original poster

Spent 3 hrs on DD's hair last night & it looks amazing; but I can't do it daily

22 replies

KatyMac · 15/06/2011 11:08

We are doing curly girl method & she leaves in conditioner

As she is 13 she generally does her own hair & there had been a bit of build up

So I washed it all out, conditioned it, defined it, rinsed and reconditioned & defined

It really look amazing but I am exhausted

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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royaljelly · 20/06/2011 00:17

You dont say what you are using or the ethnicity of your daughter but there are products that don't have so much build up so require less washing.

Ethnic hair should never be washed every day as it dries it out.
A good hair moisturiser such as Pink hair moisturiser will usually tame curls. The temptation is to put loads of product in to tame the hair but with a decent ethnic hair product you should only need a pea sized amount.

An olive oil based shampoo and conditioner should also tame frizz.

Sally's hair salon do quite a range or if in doubt take a look online at something like 'Black beauty' magazine or 'Black Hair' which have issues and guides online.

Original poster

KatyMac · 20/06/2011 09:22

Sorry

she is 13, mixed (Jamaican & white) & we have struggled with her hair for years - but we are improving

We don't use shampoo (or at least only 4/6 weekly) & she washes it with conditioner then uses a different conditioner to moisturised as advised here

OP posts:

crazynanna · 20/06/2011 09:30

KatyMac spooky coincidence!
DD1 (25) has just got the book,and she did DD2 (13) with the 'no shampoo wash in conditioner' method,and then the defining.
It is the first time in her whole life she can wake up in the morning without knots and lugs,completely no frizz,and no hairbrushing!
Was a bit sceptical about leaving the conditioner in,but I was completely wrong.
Was doing it wrong all these years!

Original poster

KatyMac · 20/06/2011 09:31

The problem is the redefining

The day after is good then it goes down hill

OP posts:

crazynanna · 20/06/2011 09:35

True....the defining when washed/wet is easier as the hair is pliable and slippy. It's a bugger when it's dry. DD1 got the recommended milk shake thing,can't remember it's name,for the daily redifining.It makes it easier..slightly.

Original poster

KatyMac · 20/06/2011 14:09

Thinking about it I might dilute the conditioner for use in between; that might work

OP posts:

Original poster

KatyMac · 20/06/2011 16:57

That took 3/4 of an hour to do

It's still very time intensive tho'

OP posts:

crazynanna · 20/06/2011 19:24

Katy...I was moaning to my big girl that it takes sooo long,and she says it'll get quicker with practice..yeah right.

She uses products from a website natures parlour..look at mixed hair section.
All natural products,she uses it for redifining and it takes really well and speeds up the process xx don't their hair look lovely though

Original poster

KatyMac · 21/06/2011 21:39

Diluting it is much better, DD is washing it a bit more often too (which isn't ideal)

OP posts:

crazynanna · 21/06/2011 22:09

Oh Ok...I will try the dilution.
How often are you washing?

Original poster

KatyMac · 21/06/2011 22:11

Maybe every 5 days

I disapprove but it is looking good.......so?

OP posts:

Original poster

KatyMac · 21/06/2011 22:12

DD was getting crusty bits of conditioner, which seems to have stopped with dilution of the conditioner

But that means more water which can't be good

OP posts:

crazynanna · 21/06/2011 23:05

You know,when they were little,and I was washing and conditioning their hair in the bath,I remember saying to myself "It would be lovely if I could leave the conditioner in....but I can't"...probably visualising my hair full of thick conditioner looking like rats tails. Should have realised then...we don't have the same hair,so yes,leave the conditioner in!

Original poster

KatyMac · 23/06/2011 07:45

I know it looks so beautiful when it's wet (I guess that is why there are all those 'wet look' leave in treatments)

OP posts:

mamaesi · 24/06/2011 15:37

hey sorry to interupt this thread... but what did you do when your daughter was little?

my girl is nearly 1.5 years old... I am trying not wash it too much, but being a busy toddler she gets food/dirt and all sorts in her hair daily and I need to clean it somehow...

tried using just conditioner, but its not helping... especially because it seems she has white hair on top and sides, black in back, so to speak..

I am white but have curly hair and am constantly experimenting with products but mine obviously doesnt dry out as bad as my daughters.

also am concerned using adult products with chemicals and such?
what did you do with a little girl??

Original poster

KatyMac · 24/06/2011 15:49

We used wheatgerm oil on DD's hair; but it wasn't dramatically successful

Sorry I can't be more help

OP posts:

Appleton · 01/07/2011 09:14

Katymac - I also have a Jamaican/British daughter, but she's only 3 and her hair took ages to grow in so I'm at the beginning of trying to work out what the hell to do with it! I can imagine when she's 13 and has much longer hair it will be a challenge. So I don't have the answers - only more questions for you!

Firstly, I just wondered why you did the defining twice in your OP - I thought it would only need to be done at the very end of the process? I've probably missed something from the website as my 8 month old is still waking constantly and my concentration is shot!

What method are you using for defining? I tried the "doodles" (wrapping chunks around my finger and twirling) for the first time yesterday, and it looked amazing. But she's just got up this morning and it is a mess - not so bad as I'm still on mat leave and have time to sort it before we go out, but I won't be able to do that when I'm back at work and in a rush to get her to nursery.

Does your DD sleep in a silk cap/on a silk pillow? I've heard lots of people mention this, but haven't found a child-sized cap in any of the hairdressing shops I've been in (and always have the kids with me so no chance of having a proper browse!) And does she put her hair in twists or plaits for sleeping? It's always the last thing I can be bothered with before putting her to bed, which is why I've been practising corn-rows and twists, so I can do it once and then leave it for about 4 days. But I would love the option of easy "down hair" - I'm not sure it exists though!

mamaesi - I was concerned about using adult products, too, and tried a few of the products specifically for mixed race children, but they were really expensive (and still full of chemicals). I saw lots of mixed race hair websites recommended the blue Herbal Essences conditioner (Hello Hydration) so I now just use that. I use it to "wash" the hair, rinse out and then apply another big dollop that I don't wash out. I know the tightly curly website doesn't recommend it for keeping in the hair anymore, but I've yet to find another product that works as well as this one. And it's cheap and smells lovely!

Wow, that was a long post about hair! I think I need to get out more!!

mamaesi · 01/07/2011 14:05

oh thanks. will try herbal essences.
I tried aussie miracle leave in treatment...its a good conditioner and her hair is super soft... but now its almost too soft and just pure frizz if you know what I mean.

I also wish it didnt get so mucked up overnight...not much I can do being that she is so little.

My husband keeps saying stop fussing over it..little kids have messy hair, dont give her a complex over it, stop making a big deal...
But I cant help wanting her to look cute...and I dont want to be the white girl who cant sort out her daughters hair!

Bexstar5 · 07/07/2011 14:34

I've tried the 'tightly curly' idea and my DD's hair is getting better conditioned and easier to manage. I suppose I am learning more everyday too.

I did plait her hair every night before bed because of the frizz and knots. I recently bought a durag but it always slips off. Is there any other ideas out there?

Bexstar5 · 07/07/2011 14:35

mamaesi don't become the white mum who can't sort her daughter's hair out. Practice and learn. I am self-taught and quite impressed with the styles I can now do. I never thought I would be able to do the styles and plaiting etc.

Good luck!

Original poster

KatyMac · 12/07/2011 00:21

Why do I define twice; mainly because if I don't the conditioner doesn't go all the way through - I only do this every 3/4 weeks tho' because I'm lazy! DD does it in between, but not quite as well

Umm we just split & finger comb tbh

Herbal essences are great - hello hydration is good, seductively straight is brilliant & Smooth & straight is great too

No scarf but we used to use one (nylon) from a shop in Willesden (or one in Jamaica - slightly more difficult to get to)

Sorry for the late reply

OP posts:

Appleton · 13/07/2011 09:08

Thanks for answering my questions katymac I like the idea of a trip to Jamaica to get a head scarf!

I have been doing the "doodle" defining more in the last week and I love it. I've posted some pics on my profile to show the difference it makes to her hair. It actually makes the curls look shiny even when they are dry, which I never thought would happen. It does take a while to do when just washed, but I have found that even though it looks a mess when she wakes up, I can spray some water, add a little Hello Hydration conditioner and fix it back to looking OK in less than 10 minutes. Result! Not sure how well it would work on longer hair though.

Have you got any pics of the styles you do bexstar5 ? I'm always looking for inspiration for new styles as my mind normally goes blank when my daughter sits on my knee to have her hair done!

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