Ex-husband has suddenly stopped paying child maintenance - what to do now??

[electra]

My ex-husband has been paying maintenance for our two children since April 2008.

Today I discovered he no longer intends to pay because he 'can't afford it'. He has not lost his job (earns decent salary) but won't say why there is a problem. He didn't bother to tell me - he waited for me to find out it hadn't gone into my bank.

I'm not going to be able to cope without this money. I am more upset for the girls because it feels like he doesn't think they are his responsibility.

I know I have to go through the CSA now, but I have heard they aren't very good - does anyone have any experience?

oh and the other thing is that he doesn't even come to collect them when he sees them so I drive them to his and pick them up every time. I have even offered him lifts (he doesn't drive) so that he can go to their school plays etc.

would the csa be likely to take more than what he previously paid?

if so,i would point this out to him...or if csa would take less,then offer him that agreement instead?

i get £5 a week for my 4....ex can't/won't work

Hi Tiffany - what he used to pay is about the same as what the CSA thought he should. I think he took advice for them when setting it up.

bump - anyone have any advice?

I have managed to establish a few things. Apparently he wants to get his credit cards paid off so he can't pay child maintenance at the moment.

He has not lost his job. He is working the same hours and even admitted to me that he's had pay rises since we split up.

electra, don't have any knowledge/expertise in this area but you might want to tell him that he could either start paying as before and pay off his holidays, etc monthly or you can contact the csa and inform them of his 'change in circumstances' (payrise) and let them decide on a (probably higher) figure.

p.s. think he's being a shit.

Well I am amazed that he would do this to me/them, especially without even telling me. I could understand if he had lost his job or something but he hasn't!

Now I can see I was silly to trust him to pay up. Anyway I've made a claim via the CSA now. On the phone he said to me that he'd been paying 'too much' but this is wrong because the CSA calculated that is how much he should pay based on the figure he earned when we split up. Now I see why people were saying I should have done this via the CSA originally.

Hope you get some results from the CSA - what a shit. Hope the DDs are OK - it's ahrd on the Dcs when their dad really shows everyone how ar**holey they can be. take care

Thanks Leslaki - I have heard bad things about the CSA so I hope they will do something

elctra - my experience with the csa - YOU need to keep informing them of changes. Ie. i rang them when ex had gone onto sick pay. I rang them when he had gone onto half pay. I rang them when he had ran out of half pay/sick pay and was now on JSA (purely to avoid paying CSA i hasten to add)

I kept ringing them each week, to get an update, and/or to make sure that when they said they were going to do something, it had actually been put on the screen to do - actually doing it took a couple of weeks or so.

To be fair to them, they have done their job well for me, its not their fault my ex doesnt reply to any of their letters/phone calls - perhaps your ex would be similar?

It does take a lot of time though - the inital application alone took 12 weeks

I hope you get it sorted, and best wishes to you and your young ones.