Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

exH given up work voluntarily and working cash in hand to avoid maintenance payments!

25 replies

Toothache · 05/10/2008 16:37

So unoriginal! However, he texted me this morning to tell me he was unemployed and that CSA had over paid me £1500 and I would have to pay him back! What a waster!!! He had been a Manager in Tesco for 3 years.

Now he was already in arrears. We've been separated over 2 years (still awaiting divorce).

I know he's working cash in hand with his friend who owns his own building firm. I know this as he still lives in the same village as my folks.... its a small place and everyone knows everyones business!

What can I do?

OP posts:
CarGirl · 05/10/2008 16:38

Report him and his employer to inland revenue & csa?

schneebly · 05/10/2008 16:40

yep I would report him in an instant!

expatinscotland · 05/10/2008 16:41

report him to HMRC and to CSA. In writing.

and follow it up.

write to the CSA and tell them he demanded the money back - like he's really going to see that again! LOL.

Original poster
Toothache · 05/10/2008 16:45

Well that's my thinking. I had already been in touch with the CSA as I knew he was intending on jacking in his job. they said that if he had given up voluntarily, his payments would just build up until they were forced to take legal action.

Which makes me think he's managed to make it look as though he was fired (or made redundant!). ... wanker.

The problem is.... his friend is friendly with my folks and I know he "employs" a few guys cash in hand.

So it'll be his friends business that will suffer. My ex is a selfish twat... he doesn't care who gets hurt as long as he doesn't have to pay me.

he's total scum, but I still get shocked at the lengths he'll go to.

I've just offered him £7250 settlement for divorce that he should have walked away from if he was any sort of man. He was entited to half the equity in my house even though he wasn't on the mortgage and only earned a pittance when we were together. Everything belonged to me, but the law is the law!!!!

So he's getting £7250 from me.... and STILL he does this?????

Just when I'm getting on with things.... I get a blow like this. I feel sick.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 05/10/2008 16:48

Can't you back to your solicitor and discuss keeping the £7k as part settlement of child maintenance as he is no longer working

Original poster
Toothache · 05/10/2008 16:53

I hear ya Cargirl!!

And yes... that's my first phone call on Monday. Second is CSA. Third is IR! I even know the address he's working at just now.... loft conversion apparently. Must ask him how its coming along, I could do with one.

Does he really think he can go through life scamming his way out of things? Answer: YES HE'S A SCOUSER!!.... lol... only kidding for any Scouse MNers.

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 05/10/2008 17:18

OMG, Toothy, he really is an arse, isn't he? Imagine not wanting to support his own kids!

piratecat · 05/10/2008 17:22

cheeky git, hope you get soem answers from your phonecalls tomorrow, they never cease to amaze me these ex's.

mine has started college at 36, and has already told the csa 'if' i should get intouch with them that he no longer has to pay.

which he doesn't anyhow!

they are low, and it's very very sad.

Original poster
Toothache · 05/10/2008 19:56

He never fails to knock the wind out of me!

But I think I have a bit of fight in me yet.

Do you think I can legally withold the financial settlement coz of this?

OP posts:
AnarchyAunt · 05/10/2008 20:00

I didn't think they could make you pay it back as surely the fault lies with him (for not informing them), or them (for paying you anyway)? Either way, not your fault.

And damn right report him!

Original poster
Toothache · 05/10/2008 20:02

So... the general consensus is to report him... even if it means his pal could lose his business?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/10/2008 20:04

Even if it means the pal gets a fine.

Because he's not exactly being very pal-y if he's employing your ex cash in hand because it gets him out of paying for his own kids, is he?

That's a twat thing to do.

Report the ex for working cash in hand to HMRC and CSA.

expatinscotland · 05/10/2008 20:07

he won't lose his business. he'll just get a fine.

AnarchyAunt · 05/10/2008 20:08

And also... my ex worked cash in hand as a builder/gardener for one of his 'mates'. Earlier this year he had an accident at work and had to have a finger amputated, and as he was not 'officially' employed he got no SSP or compensation.

So his 'mate' is not only helping him get out of paying for his kids, but in the event he had an accident at work he would have no legal right to recompense or sick pay.

Cappuccino · 05/10/2008 20:12

if his friend is friendly with your folks can't you tell him the situation you are in, and you don't want to get him in trouble, because it's not his fault, but you might have to report your ex if he continues to scam you like this because you have your kids to support and you wanted to give him fair warning?

he may lay your ex off

Liffey · 05/10/2008 20:15

Sorry me again toothache, but yes, now I know the whole story I am chipping in to agree with the others, report his employer and cc everything to the CSA.

I think the employer will get a fine or something. I doubt it would be the single one thing that would bring a good business to its knees.

Original poster
Toothache · 05/10/2008 21:02

He has 2 kids and despite everything I have nothing against him.

But its his own fault for hiring that twat.

Ex must think I'm daft if I hadn't been expecting him to do this. All he has done is complain to me about how I have it easy and he's always skint.
EEEHHHH...I've worked for everything I have and tbh everything he has too!

OP posts:
Original poster
Toothache · 05/10/2008 21:14

I;ve got another trick up my sleeve.

Ex has them on a Sunday night.... drops ds off at breakfast club (which I pay for) and dd at nursery (which I also pay for).

Why should I pay for childcare for them on a monday now he's not working????

So I'm going to cancel nursery and breakfast club and tell him that if he has committments on a Monday (which he shouldn't, afterall he's unemployed) then he has to make his own arrangements!!!!

What do you all think?????? Good? Reasonable???

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/10/2008 21:16

i wouldn't do that.

it just means your bairns lose out and he's not going to give a fat rat's erse.

i'd stick to reporting him to HMRC and CSA and calling your solicitor about not giving him the settlement.

Original poster
Toothache · 05/10/2008 21:19

Expat - I'm still going to do that too. But dd is in private nursery 4 days a week, so reduced to 3 days would still get her pre-school time. For ds breakfast club is 8-8.50am and having asked them, he drops them off at 8.45am... too late for ds to have breakfast anyway. So why am I paying it?

I wouldn't actually cancel it all... not yet. Just tell him I have via solicitors letter.

i swear I would rather pay my solicitor 10k than pay me ex a feckin penny.

OP posts:
Original poster
Toothache · 05/10/2008 21:20

He would have no choice either... if he didn't have the option of dd's nursery... he wouldn't be able to work cash in hand on the Monday. there's nowhere else to drop her off. I only have this little gem until dd starts school next year.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/10/2008 21:21

oh, i would, too, Toothy. i'd get onto the solicitor right away.

that'll get his attention.

expatinscotland · 05/10/2008 21:22

tell him he might not be so skint these days if he hadn't blown so much of it up his nose.

Original poster
Toothache · 05/10/2008 21:33

I'm thinking that he is delaying get the money for a reason. I've offered him monthly payments of £250. Which he refused and literally laughed at over the phone. I offered him half in August and then the rest in February.. his response via a solicitor was:

My client sees no reason why he should wait for settlement. He requests the full amount, plus interest at 8% from June 2006 and all court expenses with regards to divorce.

I think if he gets the money now, he'll have so many people queuing for it that he come into any money officially.

OP posts:
Original poster
Toothache · 05/10/2008 21:34

that he CAN'T come into any money officially.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread