Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

If I prepared a document on behalf of dp supporting his side of divorce

31 replies

objectivity · 19/08/2008 14:33

Which was I under pressure to do and was full of lies could I inform legal parties that this happened and what would happen as a result?

OP posts:
controlfreakyagain · 19/08/2008 14:37

what sort of document? what was ordered / happened as a result? what do you want to happen now?
if an agreement was reached as a result of undue pressure / duress it can be set aside.... there is noi hard and fast rule as to what would constitute this... it would depend on all the circumstances etc.

the first step would definitely be to inform your legal advisers.... but depends on what you want to happen....did you have legal advice when this was done?

Original poster
objectivity · 19/08/2008 14:38

No. I am not involved I just hepled him fight his corner because if I didn't he would leave me. But I do not want the docs used because they are full of rubbish and he didn't write them - I did.

OP posts:
Original poster
objectivity · 19/08/2008 14:39

His Sworn Statement - I worded the draft and the barrister constructed it from this.

OP posts:
nervousal · 19/08/2008 14:42

You would have to show that what was contained in the docs wasn't true - the fact that you wrote it probably isn't important. What is important is that he signed something htat wasn't true. Why didn't he just write it himself?

PortAndLemon · 19/08/2008 14:43

You could tell his wife's solicitor that the sworn statement is a pack of lies (the fact that you drafted it is irrelevant, really -- it's the truth or otherwise of it that's important). Chances are that he'd find out you'd done it, though.

Why are you so worried about being left by someone who (a) lies under oath and (b) expects you to help him do it?

Dropdeadfred · 19/08/2008 14:44

your dp sounds horrible..blackmailing you!

controlfreakyagain · 19/08/2008 14:48

i agree. your role is really irrelevant. he is the one who swore on oath / affirmed it was true.
i read op as you being bullied by him in context of your divorce from him... but am assuming now this was in course of his divorce from previous partner....
again... ? for me would be what do you want to happen? if you tell his solicitor document is all lies they will have to tell him you told themn so..... he may deny that and stick to what is in document in any event..... if you tell solicitors on other side they may well summon you to give evidence against him as it were...what do you want to achieve??

Original poster
objectivity · 19/08/2008 14:51

He is vile. I am leaving but he has a hold over me to some extent. I have done many silly things because of his coercion but I can put right my part in this to some extent.

He didn't write it because he lacks the brain cells to do so.

You know, she will lose out massively (his wife) because of the things she doesn't know about but I do.

This is revenge too, but my revenge will be productive for me.There will be no going back if I start this ball rolling.

He has just threatened me with eviction and supporting my ex h's residency application. Vile, I say, just vile.

I'mjust stupid.Nice but stupid.

OP posts:
Original poster
objectivity · 19/08/2008 14:53

She doesn't know he used company money to hire prostitutes in her absence or about the credit card spending he is keeping secret, or the secret cash flow of the business. There divorce is due to his financial misconduct and my document makes it look like the sun shines out of his arse.

OP posts:
Original poster
objectivity · 19/08/2008 14:53

*their

OP posts:
PortAndLemon · 19/08/2008 14:54

The right thing to do would be to contact his wife and clue her in on the stuff she doesn't know, if you are prepared to deal with the fallout.

beanieb · 19/08/2008 14:55

I'm confused. He left you for her? and you wrote a staement for him, but now you want revenge?

I'm all confusled ....

youcannotbeserious · 19/08/2008 14:57

How would the Ex wife greet you?

If I were you, I'd get my own solicitor. Tell the truth. Tell her the truth, if you can,

I'd come clean and give as much supporting evidence as you can. Can you prove you wrote the docs.

Am also going to play devils advocte... Why? Please don't think you have to explain yourself to me, but it is a Q that will be asked.

Original poster
objectivity · 19/08/2008 14:58

beanieb he lied to me and to her and has since been as abusive to me as he was her.I tried to contact her before when I last felt strong enough to stop being used for sex but she didn't want to know.

We didn't have an affair (afaik).This is really complicated but I am a victim in this big time. I was in love, loyal and trusting and all the while I was being used in many, many ways.

OP posts:
Original poster
objectivity · 19/08/2008 14:59

When I first realised I was being used I spoke up about it and then I got an eviction notice, I was dumped and threatened with losing my home - because he owns it.

OP posts:
PortAndLemon · 19/08/2008 15:00

It's not really a question that will be asked, though. What objectivity wrote or didn't write isn't relevant, legally -- the issue is that her partner has lied in a sworn statement and has hidden assets that he's trying to keep out of the divorce process. The Queen herself could have drafted the original false statement that the barrister reworked, and that still wouldn't be relevant.

PortAndLemon · 19/08/2008 15:01

If you know wife's solicitors (likely to be on correspondence your partner is getting) you could contact them directly, or even anonymously (although they'll probably guess it was you), rather than contacting her.

Original poster
objectivity · 19/08/2008 15:02

So, I've stayed and agreed to help him with his legal stuff because then he said he wouldn't evict us and we'd have a lovely realtionship and future together and I sortof believed it and then when the paers were in we were going to go to @Windsor for the weekend but he cancelled and then dumped me again but came round for sex and said "but I'll have a sexual relatiopnsahipo with you while I decide what Iwant, I'm stressed and confused" and then he starts evicting me again.

OP posts:
Original poster
objectivity · 19/08/2008 15:04

I know everything. Some of it is provable, the prostitutes isn't, but other people know about it and would lie for him.

He has also received anonymous letters to his business about using escorts - supposedly from a customer who has withdrawn their custom from his buisness.

OP posts:
unsungparsnips · 19/08/2008 17:04

this sounds awful for you. Where do you stand on the eviction side of it? Do you think he would actually do it and how is he proposing to support your ex h's application?

Sounds like he deserves everything he's got coming to him. Haven't got any experience on the legal side of it but I think the others are right.
More about him telling porkies under oath than anything you've done.
Good luck

NotDoingTheHousework · 19/08/2008 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
objectivity · 19/08/2008 17:15

Thank you.

I know I have been partly responsible for his wife's hurt just by being with him,although I only ever had more than a landlord tenant relationship with him until I learned that they were separating and selling their house. I certainly didn't steal her husband or anything. (Might have done her a favour if I had). In fact, when landlord told me about the behaviour difficulties they were having with his stepsons I offered him and her some of my contacts and books on ADHD. I felt sad for them both that their relationship wasn't working. Months later he asked me out and I accepted.

In that time he has made out she was 'nuts' and he has gone on to slag me off as some crazy whore who he gets his kicks from to his friends - so clearly in his messed up head it will ALWAYS be the woman's fault.

I called and apologised to her but she threw it back at me entirely and emailed him to tell him to tell me to sod off. That's when I got the first eviction notice.

OP posts:
Freckle · 19/08/2008 17:21

Is he giving you a genuine eviction notice? Do you have an assured shorthold tenancy? If he is giving you correct notice, taken this to your local council and get your name on the homeless register. Either that or start looking for other accommodation now. Take the power away from him.

unsungparsnips · 19/08/2008 17:23

Sounds perfectly lovely!.. but surely he can't he really evict you? What happens if you just don't go? I spose it's hard to contact his wife if that's the reception you got...maybe solicitors is the right avenue.
Still don't get how he fits into your residency application though. What could he feasibly do to get involved there? Sounds like a man who likes to be calling the shots. You are well rid.

solidgoldbrass · 19/08/2008 17:25

Go to CAB/Women's Aid/family law solicitors. This man is an extremely abusive dangerous criminal who would be better for a spell behind bars (I have read some of your threads, he is guilty of blackmail, extortion and something along the lines of statutory rape towards you let alone what he has done or is doing to his wife). Tell a legal professional everything. Drop the fucker right in it and, if you are afraid of violent reprisals, tell the professionals that as well. You can get away from this man and he will get what he deserves.