So what if I DO want to take him to the cleaners?

[DeeLerious]

This is just a feeler really.....

Told last week he's found someone new & is leaving. 2 kids & house with mortgage til we're 70. I've been told from reliable sources that should I take legal proceedings I wouldn't get the whole house & would only be entitled to 20% net his income for the children & probably some for me. current assets (not great deal) to be split.

Does this sound right? Can anyone help, please.

The house might be held over until the children are 18 and what is granted for you depends if you are married, how his pension is set up (you may be able to lodge a claim on it), whether you work and have independent income or if dependant etc. You need to see a solicitor - many do a free intitial consultation.

Thanks LIZS. Yes this was a solicitor - very nice -but kept mentioning divorce proceedings as way forward. At mo I only work PT & look after kids - he earns 10 x my salary (Excluding bonuses). He currently wishes to provide what he can for us but I fear 2 things here - firstly, he'll change his mind when the guilt wears off & secondly, he'll start behaving like he did when I first met him (Awful with money & had to be bailed out heaps with CCJ & all) & not have the money to provide for them. I can increase hours but would never be able to afford our mortgage, let alone anything else. Had hoped for a written agreement but not sure if it would be less painful in the very long run for everyone if we just jump to the next step now. Just wanted a second opinion on the advice given above.

DeeLerious
Sorry you're in this mess - i really feel for you as I'm there too right now! My exh left us on Mother's day and is with his new partner. Anyway. You're probably still in a state fo shock. Go and see a solicitor - if you are clear you want a divorce (I was and still am - could never repair the breach of trust nor the bullying)as it's best to do the financial seoparation as part of a divorce settlement if you can't really rely on him financially. My ex promised the world and now (4months on) keeps going back on promises and lying about things. You will ahve to prepare a financial declaration so get rid of any savings in your name - I opened a secret account in dd's name and put it in there - withdra it slowly! You must also apply for Child tax credit and working tax credit - make sure your child benfit is paid in your name. If you don't work 16 hours a week or more you will need to increase this as the WTC makes such a difference. My solicitor is fighting to get me the house (exh earns 10x what I do too) but I will need to give him some of the equity. He reckons around 20% so I've had 3 VERY low valuations done on the house. I was told that in law everything starts at 50% split but then oher factors are taken into account such as children and income. They like to keep the kids in the family home if poss. My sol reckons on an 80/20 split or 70/30 worst case. Unfortunately several f my friends are goingthrough the same and they've all ended up with variations on the 80/20 split. All bar 1 work part time and have been able to keep the family home.

I hope you get this sorted I really do. Know exactly what you're going through.

Thanks Leslaki. X