I'm not 'failing to admit' it, like it's some sordid secret. Are you hoping for an 'aha!' moment where you catch me out and it turns out I'm a secret millionaire?
We were on a household salary of about £100k, yes, but then I reduced my hours so we're not anymore. I already said that we're earning more than average, in professional jobs. We both pay into pensions. So does it really matter what the actual salary is? Neither of us are 'high earners'.
I've done the zero based budget, added up all our bills, insurance, childcare, costs of food shop, kids clothes and uniform and shoes, sinking funds to pay for annual expenses like car insurance and service, one annual camping holiday, etc etc... and currently we have a bit leftover to put in savings so that we can pay for a new boiler or a new car or to fix the roof. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? What I'm saying is that if the mortgage goes up to nearly £3k a month, that will mean there's nothing left at all for savings and we will also have to make some cut backs. If you are only just breaking even each month then in my mind you can't really afford the house because at some point the boiler will break, the washing machine needs replacing, and how is stuff like that going to be paid for? Houses cost money to repair and maintain, same with cars.
I've avoided making it about salary because then it turns into 'on £xxx per year you shouldn't be struggling! You must be burning money!' etc etc because people latch onto the salary amount and don't think about how much of it actually goes on tax, NI, pension, student loans (yep still repaying those thanks to postgrad degrees). And really it's about having a big mortgage that is going to get even bigger, and about the worry of having that hanging over you. I'm not talking about being in poverty and I've made that really clear.