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Original poster

I'm stuck 😭

135 replies

Welsh2479 · 19/04/2022 03:22

Electricity has gone up the money I have is meant to be going on food but is now going to electric so I'm left with nothing for three days, I'm in tears and feel pathetic. Food banks need a referral but I don't drive I'm really in mess and I'm sick of the struggle.Do all food banks need a referral? will I have to just suck it up? Any advice would be gladly appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
Welsh2479 · 19/04/2022 08:33

[quote SpidersAreShitheads]@Welsh2479 Of course you can - and should! - ask for advice if you're struggling.

The problem is that people have provided you with lots of options which you seem to have ignored, you haven't replied with any info about who you mean by "we" and you seemed to imply that you couldn't do the Tesco club card because you don't have the internet - but you clearly do as you're posting here.

In many ways I would prefer it if you were someone trying it on as I'd hate to think of ANYONE without something to eat. If you're genuine, then come back and provide us with some more info so we can help you. Lots of smart posters on here with excellent knowledge. But if you don't provide more info and just keep saying you're embarrassed - while asking to pm members individually - then people will think the worst.

Either way, I hope you're OK. Please read these comments as there are lots of really helpful ideas.[/quote]
Internet OUTSIDE... I don't have
Home Internet... yes I do have
I haven't ignored any advice I've googled the information that I was given.
No I don't want a referral it's embarrassing.
I don't have to give information about my home life I was asking for advice.
This is why some people would rather die than ask for advice.. Accused of being a liar on top of no sleep and no food, great thanks.

OP posts:
AchillesPoirot · 19/04/2022 08:33

You do not need internet “outside” to use the Tesco vouchers - you just screenshot them on your phone.

AchillesPoirot · 19/04/2022 08:34

So you’re embarrassed to get a food bank referral and would rather go hungry?

ChurchlightJane · 19/04/2022 08:36

Do you have children OP?

AchillesPoirot · 19/04/2022 08:36

I’m asking who is in your family to HELP. To signpost to appropriate help. There’s no point me saying contact your health visitor if you don’t have an under 5, for example.

It’s not to be horrible.

Original poster
Welsh2479 · 19/04/2022 08:37

Yeah I asked for advice and get accused of all sorts and reported. No way in this world would I ever ask for advice again or go anywhere you have to ask for help..this experience was enough.

OP posts:
PeepsAndSheeps · 19/04/2022 08:39

Definitely don't be embarrassed. Loads of us have been there before. As PP said, there are armies of people out there keen to help. Please reach out. You haven't done anything wrong. Unfortunately there will be many more people needing help in the near future.

Nicknacky · 19/04/2022 08:39

You haven’t been accused of anything. Mumsnet always put that warning up and one or two posters are rightly suspicious as you don’t seem to be interested in any of the advice that is being offered.

You haven’t responded to most of the really helpful posts that posters have taken the time to type.

carefullycourageous · 19/04/2022 08:40

@Welsh2479

Yeah I asked for advice and get accused of all sorts and reported. No way in this world would I ever ask for advice again or go anywhere you have to ask for help..this experience was enough.
Just take a deep breath and try to calm down.

Step away from the thread for a bit.

I think you are spiralling, and I understand why, and I understand why you are too embarrassed to ask for help.

People on here are trying to fix your problem practically, and they can see the steps you need to take, but before you can take any you need to tend to your feelings.

Brew for you.

ChristmasAtHogwarts · 19/04/2022 08:41

I’m in West Midlands, whereabouts are you? You can pm me

IncompleteSenten · 19/04/2022 08:42

You've had advice.
Threads like this are always reported because MN does have a LOT of scammers hoping for a handout
It really isn't personal.

Blame the people who come on here with their bullshit stories and reasons why nothing but money will help, hoping for private messages asking for their PayPal info.

They are the reason posters report threads.

They are the reason MN has a standard response ready to post.

You are looking for advice. So stay. You'll get advice.
You aren't looking for cash so you have no reason to not stay and take the advice.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 19/04/2022 08:42

Just take a screenshot of the Tesco vouchers. Then scan the photo at the till. You dont need the internet.

I hope you dont have kids. There is help available. You would get a food bank referral easily, but you dont want to. So I very much hope you dont have kids who will suffer because you wont ask for help.

You came here for advice. You've been given all the advice you need. But you wont act on it because you dont want to ask for a food bank referral. That makes me think you dont want advice, you just want people to offer you some money.

No one is going to send you money. You need food. Food banks are widely available. Call for a referral and go collect some food.

AchillesPoirot · 19/04/2022 08:43

When are you next due to get paid or receive benefits? How much money do you have and how long does it have to last you?

SpidersAreShitheads · 19/04/2022 08:45

@Welsh2479

Yeah I asked for advice and get accused of all sorts and reported. No way in this world would I ever ask for advice again or go anywhere you have to ask for help..this experience was enough.
I mean, you suit yourself OP.

People are really trying to help you here. You're being evasive, defensive and quite rude actually. Unfortunately there are people in this world who take advantage and your lack of responses on this thread make people understandably suspicious. You're not even trying to see the other side of the coin here, just stamping your feet and having a pity party.

If you would rather starve for several days than impart even the tiniest amount of information on an anonymous forum, then I would suggest that things aren't as bad as you're portraying.

Nevertheless, I wish you well, whatever your circumstances and I hope that some of these tips help you out. I really do hope you manage to get hold of some food or money to get through the next few days.

GrazingSheep · 19/04/2022 08:46

No one is going to send you money.

Wouldn’t bet on it.

Harridan1981 · 19/04/2022 08:48

I used to work for a Trussel Trust food Bank, and trust me, the referral process is not embarrassing. And many will deliver to those with limited access. You just need to get on with it.

As others have said, non TT food banks often don't need a referral, but without knowing where you are only you can track them down.

IncompleteSenten · 19/04/2022 08:48

Oh and don't worry about people thinking you are asking in private messages because the moderators can read the dms and will be a le to confirm you haven't given your PayPal details or anything and will be able to confirm that on the thread for anyone accusing you of that.

Stay. Get the advice.

AchillesPoirot · 19/04/2022 08:52

From your other thread you have Tesco points that are vouchers in the app.
Screenshot them now while you’re on home WiFi and go to the shop and spend them.

ssd · 19/04/2022 08:52

Op, the problem is you asked for advice and the best advice which will help you quickest is a foodbank referral. But you dont want a referral as you are embarrassed. Which is totally understandable, i think most folk in your situation would be embarrassed asking too. But they'd prefer to ask and eat than be embarrassed and hungry.
Anyway, i hope you've found a way to access some food that you are ok about. Maybe theres a helpline for tesco clubcard you could phone to ask for help downloading the vouchers?

Templeblossom · 19/04/2022 08:54

@IncompleteSenten

You've had advice. Threads like this are always reported because MN does have a LOT of scammers hoping for a handout It really isn't personal.

Blame the people who come on here with their bullshit stories and reasons why nothing but money will help, hoping for private messages asking for their PayPal info.

They are the reason posters report threads.

They are the reason MN has a standard response ready to post.

You are looking for advice. So stay. You'll get advice.
You aren't looking for cash so you have no reason to not stay and take the advice.

I really wish MN would allow a sticky thread at the top of Money Matters with all the links and tips in it. Then Ops can be signposted there for help.
MJ123 · 19/04/2022 08:56

@Welsh2479

Yeah I asked for advice and get accused of all sorts and reported. No way in this world would I ever ask for advice again or go anywhere you have to ask for help..this experience was enough.
Why wouldn't you ask for help? You clearly need it if you've got no food?

You realise even if you do get to a Food Bank, the people there will know you have no food right?

I'm sorry but if things are this desperate, you need to swallow your pride and prioritise getting access to food and help to make sure this doesn't happen again rather than worrying what people will think of you.

Good luck

MLMsuperfan · 19/04/2022 08:58

You shouldn't be embarrassed to get help when you fall on hard times. That's why people give to food banks because they know it can happen to anyone. Let them do what they want to do which is to help you.

choirmumoftwo · 19/04/2022 08:59

@Welsh2479 I volunteer at an independent Foodbank. We do need a referral usually but would always give an emergency food parcel to someone who came to us without one, to give you a chance to get organised. Please give it a go and good luck to you.

Gazelda · 19/04/2022 09:00

OP, why don't you contact Tesco through online chat. Ask them to talk you through converting your points
Or go to the library to use free WiFi.
Have you checked if you're eligible to any benefits? Or that you're getting all you're entitled to?

People are advising. Don't strop when posters are questioning. Scammers are very prevalent on MN, so everyone is wise to be cautious and questioning. I'd hate another poster but I be scammed if it could have been prevented by a reminder that not all posters are what they seem. Surely you can understand they?
Good luck

Kayjay2018 · 19/04/2022 09:04

@Welsh2479 if you can access Facebook have a look for a local community fridge. These are separate to the food banks and are available to anyone, food is by donation or free if you cannot donate . I have two near me, always plenty of food from fruit and veg to baked goods, frozen goods and ready meals. No referral is needed so you can take yourself along and get some food. Also worth looking at really cheap food recipes, pasta dishes etc that you could make in bulk and then pop in the fridge or freezer, pasta and some tinned tomatoes etc are quite cheap, or tuna, pasta and tjn of sweetcorn, they can do a few lunch meals for a week. We tend to do a batch of food on a Saturday and freeze some and pull them out during the week when needed

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