This is what my life has come down to:-

[Boogbuster]

... cleaning up vomit and p*ss!!

Spent the whole day nursing my six year old who's got the flu and subsequently threw up all over the cream living room carpet (i know, i know, bad idea when you have pets and kids but DH has been ignoring my pleas to remove the offending carpet)

Then DD thinks it's a good idea to go out drinking with her mates (on school night) and as usual misses the last bus home and mummy has to go pick her up from city center (which is 40 mins away from where we live) and subsequently upchucks in the car on the way home.

One more mess for mummy to clean up that receives no thanks.

This is all no less than a week at after i woke up to the sound of spilling water only to find DH p*ssing on my dressing table after a night out with his mate!!

When do I get to act irresponsibly and get paralytic on a night out!? Why do i have to be the one to pick up the pieces!?!?!?

Sorry not really needing advice (i know I'm a door mat and complicit in my own subjugation) just needing to vent!!

I once woke up to DH listing in corner of the bedroom.
He was pushed out of the front door, with his coat slung after him, and he stayed in the car the rest of the night.

Stop indulging these people, apart from the 6 year old.

*pissing, obviously

Grim.
I've also done that this week in a house of noro with 3 kids 6 and under.
I will raise hell if that is my life with much older children / adults, brought on by crappy alcohol (this is a no booze house). That seriously sucks, and people are disrespecting themselves as well as you. Why is this ok or even dressed up as fun? It doesn't sound it, and not only for you.

Not sure money matters is quite the board, but in your discombobulation...

Also can I recommend pet urine &odour spray for tackling the biological enzymes in vomit and piss. Works a treat.

Vent away but don’t clean up your DH and DD messes!!!

Present them both with the necessary cleaning kit and products first thing in the morning with a cheery “you’ll be needing this” and then leave them to do it. Don’t engage - just make it clear that if they choose to go out drinking, then they are also choosing to clean up messes made as a result AND most importantly that YOU WON’T be enabling such behaviour again

Jesus, I've been pretty drunk but never to the point of being unable to control where I pissed appropriately. Is this just a man thing??