Splitting up but still living in same house

[user1467719471]

Hi everyone,

I have re-registered for privacy reasons on this post.

My husband and I haven't been getting along for a long time and argue constantly. We have come to the decision to seperate. He is now living in the spare room. We barely speak to each other and don't socialise together etc....he doesn't join us at mealtimes or watching TV, outings etc...My son is disabled and needs a lot of care so I am a stay at home Mum. This situation has taken a toll on our relationship if I am honest.

Neither of us have the funds to move out, I wouldn't get a mortgage on my own and my child's health condition means we have had to make adaptations to the home. Moving out into rented accommodation isn't an option because it wouldn't have the set up my child requires.

I currently receive Carers Allowance as a benefit due to my child being disabled. I receive a very small amount of tax credits per month £60 in joint claim with my husband.

We have closed our joint bank account and I am now paying the bills from my account. He is paying me maintenance weekly. I am really struggling.

Does anyone know if there are any other benefits I would be entitled to. Also do I need to notify HMRC that we have seperated if we are still living under the same roof?

I have no idea how any of this works so any help would be appreciated.

I guess you can try to make a single tax credit claim ( which would mean an awful lot more tax credits for you ) but it may prove difficult with your husband still living there. Lots of couple have seperate bedrooms but are still a couple. I think to be honest they would want lots of proof that you are not still a couple. I presume you are claiming DLA.

When I split up with DP, I got a council house for me and DS (disabled on DLA) as our social workers and paed supported our application. The council paid for all adaptations. It made for a much cleaner break so it was straightforward to claim benefits as a single claim. It is going to be much more difficult, although not impossible, if you continue living with your DH. You should notify HMRC about your change in circumstances and they will decide whether to treat it as a single or joint claim. You might have to close your current claim and then start claiming as a single claim, but there will be a delay in payment if this happens.

If you were claiming as a single person, you'd get a higher rate of CTC (I get £150pw for one DS who is on HRC DLA), housing benefit which covers all the rent, council tax mostly paid (about 90%) and income support (about £45pw).

If he insists on staying in the house he should be paying all the bills he used to, not just maintenance. It sounds to me he's living there for free. Please correct me if I am wrong though.

Hi there

Thanks for the replies.

We have a joint Mortgage. He wants me to pay 50% of the bills such as Mortgage, Council Tax, Energy and Insurance.

My son gets DLA and I get Carers Allowance. I don't think I'd get any help towards the Mortgage or Council Tax.

You won't get help while he is living there. If previously he has paid the bills then wanting a 50/50 split is now not on. Tell him that you can't get anymore income while he is there so he has to pay for everything or move out.
If he goes you will get help with council tax and mortgage interest only and then everything else on top.

Does he realise that you are looking after your ( his and your) son. Sahp enable the other parent to go to work and further his/her career and because you are the main career of your child, you don't have that. Remind him that.
Also how much would cost him to pay for a full time career?
As pp aid, it'd easier for you if he is not there, you'd be able to get more support, you could even rent his room out!

Agree with Mortgage. Tell him you can't afford the current situation so you're going to have to get a paid job and you'll be expecting him to contribute 50% of a full time carer. Or he can quit his paid job and do your unpaid one and still contribute 50% of the bills.

I'm not suggesting that your son is a"job", of course, more that your ex doesn't place any value at all on something he a) should and b) is 50% responsible for too (assuming he's your joint DS).