Planning for old age carehome? Where to start?

[uhoh1973]

My olds are now in the 70's and 80's and finally looking to downsize (late in the day I know)... The are in OK health but in the long term in the worst case one or other or both might have to have residential / live in care at some stage?

From a quick scan through tinternet it seems nursing homes cost up to £50,000 per year now. They have considerable savings but £50,000 a year would eat through it fast. The question is has anyone got any advice / seen any good articles about how much money to put aside for care home costs etc?
Many thanks.

it needs a crystal ball - they may never need care or they may need it for years and you just don't know. Some care is funded; the nursing element may (repeat may) be paid for but the residential element won't be.

live-in care can be cheaper and may be preferable, so if possible factor space for this into the new house.

if they need residential care the house is protected as long as the spouse is living in it. If they both go into care then the house will need to be sold to pay for it. If they run out of money they don't end up on the street (assuming this is the UK!) but they may need to move homes, depending on where they are.

given that savings are getting destroyed by inflation (it is NOT 0.6%!!) there isn't much you can do. Plan that you will get no inheritance, make sure powers of attorney and wills are in place and that's it.

as my dad always says 'be nice to your children, they choose your care home'....

My friend, who is now in her 80s, moved to sheltered housing several years ago. She didn't need it at the time but felt she may avoid a care home longer if she's half way there so to speak.

She made the decision based on the experiences of a couple of friends who were fine, broke hips, ended up in care or nursing homes, were unhappy and went rapidly downhill before dying. She reckoned if they'd already been in sheltered accommodation they'd have been allowed back to their sheltered homes.

She's happy with her choice though still very fit and healthy. She had some involvement with her new community, many of whom are much younger than she is. Her flat in the complex is fabulous.

Sheltered housing is a good idea - unfortunately my parents consider it for old people, which they consider they are not! They have put an offer in on a flat in a 'normal' block so hopefully that will go through and they will move from their large house with large garden.
Specialsubject is quite right - without a crystal ball it is anyone's guess. My grandfather made it to his 90's and my maternal grandmother her late 80's so hopefully they will be with us for another 10 years :-)

Some of the residents at my friend's place are in their 50s and 60s.

Involvement in the community is voluntary. She'll attend Xmas and Easter parties and go along if the local schoolchildren come to sing or the football team members turn up (they come very regularly with gifts, which is brill). She can choose how little or often she gets involved. I imagine most places are similar.

Believe me I floated the sheltered housing option but it wasnt acceptable....!

To be fair when my friend said she was going to move to one I was shocked as she really isn't an "old" older person. I was pretty anti until she told me her reasons.

My own gran refused point blank and now she's in a nursing home which is unsuitable for her and we're waiting for a care home place to become available. She'd have been ideal for sheltered a few years ago.

What I mean to say is I understand your folks' way of thinking

Yeah its tricky isnt it? No one wants to get older but my olds seem particularly adept at the head in the sand routine which i cant help thinking is going to bite them on the bottom. I think you are betting off moving when you are younger so you can make new chums and enjoy it. We will have to hope it works out ok for them. I am sure lots of people are in this situation.

One thing, it's advisable to get a Lasting Power of Attorney in place in case, before it's needed - if parents are willing. Not everybody is - maybe they don't trust anyone enough. But especially if dementia ever rears its dreaded head it can save an awful lot of hassle if you have both the finance one, , and the Health and Welfare.
Once someone actually has dementia it's often too late, because so often the person will not accept that there's anything wrong with them (may genuinely believe this) and will refuse to relinquish control despite being unable to manage money any more.

If they are looking at a flat insist strongly encourage them to look at ground floor and if not somewhere with a lift. Whilst they might be able to manage the stairs now this might change in the future.

I thought our experience might help.

Up until 18 months ago my parents in law were really struggling (both in their 80's) but refused help and most certainly would not consider going into care. We live 60 miles away and although we used to do their washing each week and went each week to do some cleaning, bought them food and just checked they were OK generally, the decision was sadly taken out of their hands after my father in law had a massive seizure from which he never recovered. He spent some time in hospital but then we were told we had to find him a nursing home where he subsequently died a few months later. We also had to find my mother in law a care home at the same time as she was also in very poor health and couldn't be left in the house on her own.

Because my father in law was so poorly he was eligible for NHS continuous care so we didn't have to fund that. However, my mother in law had to pay for her care which was £700 per week. My father in law did have a decent amount of savings, or so we thought, but we found out that due to dementia he had frittered most of it away. In the end, with my mother in law's agreement, we rented out their large 4 bed detached house which, along with her pension, paid for all her care costs. Sadly my mother in law's health has now deteriorated so she is now also eligible for NHS continuous care so all the rental income just goes into her accountant and pays for clothing, toiletries etc but obviously there is now quite a surplus each month. We have instructed a tax accountant as there are now tax implications for my mother in law. None of the family wish to sell the house and quite frankly it would break their hearts whilst mother in law is still with us as it was their childhood home so this is the best solution for the time being.

I would definitely suggest getting a POA done sooner rather than later and luckily we did one about six months before everything went horribly downhill.

Not sure if this is of any help but just thought I would tell you about our experience.