I need help

[lauraem85]

Hi this is going to be a long post so please bear with me. I'm Laura I'm 29 and I have 3 children who don't live with me, I see them once a week, I was in a very bad realiship to point I ended up in a women Aid place, I finally got a flat and started to move, but I have no control over money, im up to my eyes in debts, I have people knocking on my door every two weeks when I get paid so I have to give them money I owe them, which leaves me with very little, it's all my own fault, and I realised how bad it has got, I'm not asking for money, I'm asking if anyone in Birmingham can spare a loaf of bread or a few tins? I haven't eaten since Monday I don't get paid till Tuesday and I have 18p to my name. Now all my family live up north plus I don't talk to them anymore haven't for a few years, friends I have down here can't help me, it got to point where I can't walk very far now this has been going on for over a year now I get paid I pay my debts off, I get some food but not enough to last me two weeks, u don't have anything to sell, my mobile is only thing I won't sell as it means my children grandparents can't get in touch with me, I have been to a food bank once last month, but I'm so scared to ask for help again, I'm going to try and get in a doctor tomorrow to tell doctors the full truth of how low I have gotten! I've made a mess of my life and I don't know how to get out of this mess! Please no nasty comments I'm not asking for money. Suppose I've come on here to talk and let steam off. I'm 29 I'm a adult and I've messed my life up big time.

I wouldn't even know where to start?

When you go to Asda or Lidl what do you buy?

What do you have in the way of equipment to cook with? Do you have an oven or a hob?

I have a mini oven and than two small plug in rings, I usually buy pasta, pasta sauce, bread butter cheese, if I have enough I buy some frozen meals or garlic bread ect.
X

Would you like to tell us how you got into this mess and lost your children? Where are your parents? Is there nobody in rl to help you?

The Salvation Army can be very helpful in a crisis, I don't know Birmingham at all but the SA have a centre at St Chads, Queensway if you are able to get there.
On a Monday they have a lunch at 12:30 and the food bank is open from 11am to mid afternoon.
The phone number is 0121 236 5776, maybe give them a ring to see if the lunch is free, & if you can use the food bank?

Some churches offer food parcels, is it worth asking there?

There's a soup kitchen near Aston university, in central Birmingham. If you ask at reception, they'll show you the way. It'll be manned until around 11pm, but if you can catch receptionists rather than security, they might take you to the canteen instead. They usually have spare food for students there, and I know they've shared that with community members before.

If not, the soup kitchen is open every evening. They have soup and bread, and usually some other options if you can get there earlier. It's okay. A bit scary when you first get there, but you'll feel much better when you've eaten.

I met a lad who lived in Birmingham, we got chatting over text than he said he would come up to Cumbria to meet me, which he did and he was lovely but my friend didn't like him, he didn't like her last time I went oit with her he was messaging me demanding to know where I was ect And my friend lost it with him and messaged him back saying youcant do this yiu have only just met Laura and uve already moved in with her and now damandind to know where I was at ect. Well anyways she made me chose between him or her, or I chose him, what I didn't realise was he already had control over me, than it was parents but I've never really had much to do with my parents, I already had a child when I met him, I than fell pregnant with my 2nd and social service got involved, we was placed on the child in need, I didn't tell them that he holds a knife to my throat, or turns the gas fire on says he gonna blow is all up, or holds my head down in Bath, things started to get worse after my 2nd was born he wasn't putting enough weight on so we was up to child protection, I than fell pregnant with my 3rd By this point his parents who lived in Birmingham had my two children down there, I went into labour a 29 wks when I had my 3rd child, we than moved down to Birmingham so we could be closer to all 3 children and work on getting them back, but the abuse got worse and worse! I finally found the strength to leave and fetch help, I've been told I have ptsd due to abuse and I won't get my children back as they think I will put them a risk, it's been 3 years since I got strength and left him, and I haven't looked back, I lost my best friend and didn't speak to her for 4 yrs luckly I have her back in my life but I also lost 3 lovely children due to him, and he has totally messed with my head.

That's awful. You've been very unlucky.

First step; getting you fed and then getting these debts cleared.

That's the only way you will get the energy to start getting back in control of your life.

Have you contacted your local council, I assume Birmingam city council they have responsibility for the social fund which replaced crisis loans. They should assist you with maybe a small grant for emergency essential needs whereby you have no alternative avenues. It is detailed on www.birmingham.gov.uk/lwp .

I have just applied for a pre paid Asda card, thank you for sending me the link to Birmingham site. Hopefully I hear something tomorrow, it's not going to solve my problem right away but aleast if I get one I can go to asda and do a big shop. X

Something that is very cheap and filling is porridge, it's about one pound for a large kilo bag. That isn't the Ready Brek fancy brands, just the plain porridge oats.
It's quick to make in a bowl or jug in the microwave, make it with water for economy and just add a splash of milk before you eat it. It will fill you up for breakfast or supper.

Best of luck laura.

So I got my friend to apply for the lwp a pre paid card on Sunday night, Monday I missed two calls and had two voice mail but because I no credit I couldn't listen to voice mail by time I got out my course and got to my local centre in Newtown it had closed, now my friend rang round asking if it was them that rang me and Birmingham coucil said it was most likely and I had to go, so I got there today a 9am and guess what they cancelled the claim because I didn't answer or get back to them yesterday!

Here's a link to a foodbank which I think is in your area

greatbarr.foodbank.org.uk/

How much do you owe in debts?