Budget advice please to have a safety net

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We break even each month in our jont account but My personal finances have really suffered since having kids and i would really like to save enough for a cushion, you know a safety net in case I lose my job. I try and save a bit but every month I need to transfer it back into current account so in the last four years, I have not saved a penny but have spent savings.

Any advice? How do you manage your money?

I think you have to approach it as a family in the first instance.... make sure the money coming into the family is being equally distributed. For example, if the joint account is breaking even but you are short enough to be digging into your savings each, is your DP/DH in the same situation or is he able to put money aside? Make sure you both have the same amount availble to spend or save.

Again we take a joint approach. In fact every penny that comes into the house is joint and is family money. That way we manage to build up some savings (although not nearly as much as I'd like)

prioritise this, it is very important to keep a roof over your head. You need to look at cutting expenses as much as possible now. Forgive me if this is all old hat:

• no mobile internet, PAYG phone on a supermarket network. Internet at home is important however.
• no new clothes for adults unless you don't have an 'x' and need one.
• look at bills and what came be done to reduce them.
• declutter and get selling: excess toys, excess household stuff
• plenty of cheap or free things you can do with the kids.
• shop around for everything, try ebay and freecycle.
• no magazines, no books unless cheap (libraries are wonderful), no papers, no takeaways coffees etc
• eating and drinking out reduced or cut out until times improve.
• no car use for journeys of less than three miles if you are able bodied.

etc... :-)

Thanks for all the tips. I now that I need to take a good look at how I waste money on little things, even birthday presents for kids' parties seem to cost is 30 odd quid a month. Going to reduce my clothing expenses too.

Have begun using cash a lot more instead of cards, just makes me think twice about those little expenses.

DH is very reluctant to totally share finances. It's an old argument of ours, he feels he wants to control so,e portion of his income, which I understand but he earns loads more than me so he can put away more. I know I am being weak about it but I hate being seen as the grasping one, when he already pays a fair bit more than me a month and he has to pay more into a private pension.

And I chose to work part time too, which he helps support. Sighs. Was so much easier when we earned the same.

It doesn't sound right if he keeps his portion of the money. Our salaries both go into a joint account. After household expenses and savings are deducted, at the end of the month, what is left is divided into two halves. DH gets half, I get the other half. This way we have family savings, but still have money to spend on things we want ourselves.

"I hate being seen as the grasping one, "

It isn't 'grasping' to insist on equality. You do not have to share every last cent but you do have to have an equal amount of spend/save money each if you keep your money separate. There is no logic whatsoever to your DH building up healthy savings/pensions/investments while you're going short. None.

kid's party presents at £30 a month? Your children must have a hell of a socia life! :-)

you're not grasping but sounds like you need to rein in the spending. As I said, stop buying clothes unless you are replacing something that is worn out and that you really need. Most people have enough clothes that no purchases except shoes, socks and underwear should be needed for years.

Why should the OP rein in the spending when her husband is sitting on a pile of cash?