Struggling after pregnancy loss and feeling overwhelmed by guilt and burnout

[Harriwren]

I had a miscarriage a month ago and feeling broken. What makes it all so much worse is that I had a panicked abortion just two months prior to getting pregnant again (severe perinatal anxiety and depression and felt suicidal) and was doing all I could this pregnancy to stay healthy.

I feel like I deserve this pain and it’s all my fault. I’ve been pushing myself too hard at work (self-employed so hard to take a break) and finding it hard as my child started school recently which adds to the feeling of loss. I feel completely burned out and that I’ll never be happy again. I know I was fortunate to get pregnant again so quickly, but age isn’t on my side and I know that’s it now which is hard to accept. I’m struggling to sleep most nights and getting very severe migraines. Not sure what to do but I know I can’t continue like this.

Hey , its not your fault. I lost my baby in August I was 12 weeks , I was taking every precaution, being very careful and it still happened. I have been going back to every detail to see if I did anything wrong . I have two kids and in their pregnancies I did everything. So no its not anything u did . I hope you conceive again and get your rainbow baby soon xx

@Accbabymom1994 Thanks for your kind comment. I’m sorry for your loss too. It’s hard and lonely at times. xx

Its very lonely. I was very upset today too and no one can understand your pain . I don't know who to talk to and who will understand.

@Accbabymom1994 I’m so sorry you had a tough day. I find some days are easier than others and when I can’t sleep it is especially hard. I feel so much guilt and regret, intertwined with the recent loss that sometimes it feels a lot. Take care of yourself and try and take each day as it comes. I get a lot of joy from my son, but I feel quite heavy and brokenhearted too. xx

So sorry you are feeling this way. It’s still very recent so don’t beat yourself up

My miscarriages took different times to get over and know that it was nothing I did

Sending you both a big hug and please look after yourselves

It feels like the end of the world, but is likely not the end of the line for you 💐

Of course you feel broken hearted, you are struggling with the loss of your babies and feeling guilty. Most of the time drs can’t explain why it happened and we blame our bodies but you are not in control of your hormones. You have had a very traumatic few months @Harriwren plus you feel loss that your son has started school and self blame is you punishing yourself for circumstances completely out of your control. Go easy on yourself nothing was your fault x

Thanks so much for your kind words @jackstini I’m sorry you have also experienced losses.

Thanks for you message. You’re right, it has been a traumatic and sad time. I just wish things could have been different this time.