Terrified of medical management of miscarriage

[Lauren912]

I found out on Friday at my 9 week scan that I am going to miscarry. Unfortunately, there had been no growth in 2 weeks and there was no longer a heartbeat.
We discussed the different options; expectant management, medical management and surgery. Surgery terrifies me so that's out. In my previous miscarriage, I was given a week to think about it/see if it happened on its own and luckily I miscarried naturally before the next appointment. I had been lightly spotting (which prompted the early scan) and then fully miscarried on Christmas day. I ended up needing to go into hospital due to the amount of blood I was losing and I was glad to be in a medical setting where they could look after me, rather than being scared at home.
This time around I would have preferred to wait for it to happen naturally again, however my brother is getting married in a few weeks so I run the risk of it not happening on its own, needing intervention or the miscarriage possibly happening on the days leading upto the wedding or the wedding day itself.
For this reason I have opted for medical management, and I will be going to hospital tomorrow to take the mifopristone tablet, then be admitted to hospital on the Wednesday to take the misoprostol. They recommended I take the misoprostol in hospital due to the blood loss in the last miscarriage (I was losing multiple clots the size of my fist before the sac passed and ended up being quite unwell, needing morphine).
Me being me, I have been reading people's experiences of taking misoprostol and now I'm terrified. I've read so many stories of people losing too much blood, needing blood transfusions and ultimately needing surgery anyway to stop the bleeding. I've also read that it is apparently more painful than expected management.
If it wasn't for my brothers wedding I'd just wait but feel like I have to go through with the medicated route now, and I'm so scared. I just wish I didn't have to do this.
Sorry for the long winded post, I guess what I'm asking is for stories of people's experiences with using misoprostol vs expectant management please ❤️

I’m sorry you’re going through this again. You’ll be in good hands in the hospital. My own experience is from a long time ago and I don’t really remember much (but it went ok).

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I had a miscarriage two years ago and honestly I’d have the operation if it happened again. What you've read is correct and very common with the tablet route. I found the process extremely painful and ended up in hospital with too much blood loss.

I’m sorry for your loss OP.

I think it’s a pity you ruled out surgery. It’s v quick, and recovery is straightforward. Why are you terrified?

It’s hard to know how you’ll be with the medical option but quite heavy bleeding is to be expected & unfortunately that does impact recovery.

There is a possibility that you might ultimately need surgery.

However, you are in good hands and I’m sure will be well looked after in hospital. Try not to worry & take care.

(Just to say, I had a MMC, 14 weeks, some years ago. I was awaiting surgery but started to bleed before it, like you I had very substantial bleeding that became uncontrolled & I was losing consciousness. I was rushed into surgery which was v straight-forward, just unfortunate I had the experience before it).

I've had 3 missed miscarriages, the first happened naturally, the second I had medical management and it didn't work, went back for a second lot of tablets and still didn't work, ended up happening naturally the following week. 3rd time I had the surgery and honestly if I had to do it again that's what I'd go for.

I had medical management (10.5 weeks but measuring 6.5). It was unpleasant but manageable. I was at home and the blood loss and pain were bearable. I was glad of codeine and cyclizine for pain relief and anti sickness. I too read all of the horror stories but for me it was honestly not too bad. If I had another missed miscarriage I’d do the surgical option purely so tissue could be collected (it would be my fourth so I’d be eligible) but otherwise I’d do medical again, I wasn’t put off by the experience.
Edited to add I’ve had no complications since and this was almost 6 months ago.

I am really sorry for your loss. I can completely relate to having to pick medical management due to an event - I would have opted for surgery but they were booked up and I needed to travel abroad and couldn't risk it happening on the plane/away from home.

I also had a missed miscarriage caught at a 9 week scan but measuring 7. I had medical management in hospital on the 5th July. It is painful, and I did vomit from the pain, but I passed the main tissue within the first 2 hours and I would say the pain was mangeable after that. I had a vibrating heat pad which I really recommend as it helped me so much with the pain. Also bring your own paracetamol so you do not have to wait and can keep yourself continually dosed up.

I will say I felt much safer being in hospital and everyone was very attentive and it was good to know I was in the right place if anything did go wrong.

I bled on and off for about 3 weeks and have finally tested negative 4 weeks out (today!)

Best of luck and I hope it goes as best as it possibly can. It is a fucking horrible thing to go through but you will get through it because you have to 💐

I would go for the surgery unless you have a specific medical issue-if you're generally young and healthy, it gets it over quickly and you can move forward faster. I know you said you're scared of it, but it's almost inevittable you will have some at some point and it's safer when you're younger, and you don't physically have to experience as much. It is your choice of course, but speaking from experience I would go this way.
So sorry you're having to go through this.

I've had 2 missed miscarriages.

First one I tried expectant management and nothing happened for several weeks, did medical management and honestly it wasn't good. Long story short I bled on and off heavily for 4 weeks, had retained tissues, several trips to hospital and the whole ordeal ended with me being anemic and having an iron infusion.

The 2nd missed miscarriage I knew i wouldn't do expectant or medicwl management again so went for the surgery, it was so much better both mentally and physically, I was recovered within a few days. I felt really well taken care of and would do it again if needed. I'd recommend it to anyone.

I can’t help with medical management but I had surgical management 3 weeks ago. I had read too many stories online about the medical management that scared me and I wanted it to be over as soon as possible.

I was treated very well by the NHS and everyone was really nice and empathetic about what I was going through. I was scared and the anesthetist gave me some anxiety medication as soon as he put the needle in my hand and I don’t remember a thing after that and woke up in the recovery room. I hope I never have to go through a MMC again but if I do I would do the surgery again.

Thank you for all your kind words. It really means a lot and I'm sorry you've all had to deal with this too.

It's going to sound silly, but I have this phobia of having a cannula attached to my vein. It's the main reason of being afraid of surgery. I had to have dental surgery a few months ago and the cannula caused that much of a stress response that they couldn't read my pulse on the equipment. I ended up forcing them to take the cannula out and having the procedure while awake. Although I think it would be different if I didn't have a choice in the matter.

It's the main thing that worries me about the medical management route - that I'll lose too much blood and they'll have to put a cannula in me.

I think you're all correct though in that I'm in the right place if anything does happen. The medical staff were all so lovely last time, I couldn't fault them at all. I'm going into the hospital to sign consent forms this afternoon, so I think I'll mention how anxious I am about the whole thing.

Hopefully it'll all be okay and I won't require any intervention while in hospital. If they do end up needing to insert a cannula, maybe they can give me somw kind of anxiety medication beforehand. Sorry, I know how ridiculous this sounds x

Also, my memory of the previous miscarriage (expected management) wasn't too bad in the grand scheme of things. It was obviously very painful but the most intense pain/bleeding only lasted about 8 hours in all. Once the hospital had given me decent pain medication it was more tolerable, and after the sac was passed it was just like a normal period for 2 weeks afterwards.

I think that is what is getting me is that I know as horrible as the last time was, I could deal with that again knowing there's an end point after the main tissue has passed.

Then again, even if I went the expected management route (if my brother wasn't getting married so soon), there's no guarantee it would go like the last time anyway. I just want this to be over with so I can stop worrying about it.

At least this time around I'm more prepared. I have a hot water bottle; something I wished I had last time, and me and hubby are downloading series/movies today so there's more of a distraction.

I found a hot water bottle really, really helped (I was surprised by how much!) and having lots of distractions will be good too. You’ll be in the right place and it sounds so sensible to mention about being anxious and specifically about the cannula fear too (it doesn’t sound ridiculous at all, and I’m sure the hospital will not bat an eyelid!) I hope it all goes smoothly for you and I’m so sorry you’re having to go through it again ❤️