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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

1000 replies

Sunbird24 · 31/01/2023 10:51

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

OP posts:
LAURAPAX · 31/01/2023 12:52

Thank you @Sunbird24 for setting this up for everyone. I am so sorry for the hard journey you have experienced I hope you are doing as well as you can. Thinking of you and everyone going through this challenging time. I hope 2023 is kinder to us all xx

Brokenpancreas94 · 31/01/2023 13:26

Hi guys,

Hope everyone is doing okay, and sorry to new people that have joined and have had a loss.

I am on day 12 of my cycle and have just done my first ever ovulation test which I think is positive? So that means I am fertile now? Correct? Xx

Also sorry to hear @Sunbird24 hope you're doing okay otherwise xx

Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!
Sunbird24 · 31/01/2023 14:41

Hey @Brokenpancreas94! Definitely looks like a surge to me, so time to get busy! 🫣

OP posts:
Tray66 · 31/01/2023 15:07

@Sunbird24 hi ther e I remember chatting to you in The summer when I had a miscarriage. I’m going through second miscarriage at the moment. Hoped this time we’d be lucky but unfortunately no. Im so sorry your ivf didn’t work out for you. Sending lots of love and thanks so much for setting this up xx

Tray66 · 31/01/2023 15:08

@Brokenpancreas94 yep now is the time to dtd!

Brokenpancreas94 · 31/01/2023 18:26

@Sunbird24 @Tray66 thank you both! My app prediction was pretty accurate too then! Feeling nervous, and need to try not to get my hopes up!! Xx

Hopefulhoney6 · 31/01/2023 20:47

Hi everyone, just found this again! Hope you’re all doing well and looking for a bit of reassurance / advice.

My cycle seems to be a bit off after my MMC in early December. I had AF on 1st Jan, then according to BBTs and OPKs I ovulated CD18 (as I do every cycle). I also ALWAYS have a 10 day LP, so expected to get AF on CD28. However, now 13DPO and no AF and BFN.

Temps are dropping towards cover line but not massive below (see pic for those that do BBT).

I know it’s only 3 days but I’ve read it is strange for an LP to lengthen this much (even though I’ve been taking vitamins to try and lengthen it!). I’ve said to myself I’ll wait to test again if no AF by Sat.

Any thoughts on cycles after MMC?? Maybe my LP has miraculously got longer?! What if AF doesn’t come at all - shall I call the EPU at some point?

Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!
Sunbird24 · 31/01/2023 20:51

@Hopefulhoney6 I know you’ve had AF but did you also get a negative HPT?

My cycles were always a little wonky for the first couple after a MC, but have ended up shorter rather than longer (although I ovulate on CD11 now then have 17 days before AF turns up!)

OP posts:
Hopefulhoney6 · 31/01/2023 22:00

Hi @Sunbird24. I had a very very faint FRER (almost not there) on 28th Dec - three weeks after ERPC. So assumed all HCG had gone. Then AF on 1st Jan.

Today was completely negative FRER so HCG def gone now I imagine!!

Maybe I’ll be like you then and have 17 days after ov for AF to turn up?! Which means I have 5 more days to go….!

Sunbird24 · 31/01/2023 22:12

Fingers crossed she’s just playing games and turns up soon!

OP posts:
Hopefulhoney6 · 31/01/2023 22:27

Thanks @Sunbird24

OhGodIAmTired · 01/02/2023 09:55

I'm now 6 weeks pregnant with no period between my last miscarriage. I ovulated 3 weeks after the miscarriage bleeding started. Had several negative tests in between. Then 2 weeks ago a positive pregnancy test.

Am going slowly insane waiting for my 8 week scan (the 6 week one was too early to see a heartbeat - result was 'undetermined viability' or something like that)

Jetlaggedgirl · 01/02/2023 18:48

Hi ladies

please tell me what’s about to happen. I had a scan at 10 weeks, baby measuring 6mm no heartbeat. Have been bleeding lightly since . Today I’ve had pregnancy like contractions that have become worse this evening but not constant, perhaps every 4 minutes . From what I’ve read things are going to be pretty tough but I’m not bleeding heavily yet. When would that start? I meant to go in to the EPU next Monday for a rescan. Would they see me sooner if the miscarriage doesn’t happen naturally? First miscarriage at this stage. The last was much sooner in my pregnancy and wasn’t painful

Sunbird24 · 02/02/2023 04:37

How are you getting on @Jetlaggedgirl? So sorry you’re going through this Flowers It’s hard to say how things will happen for you as even for me it was quite different each time. When was your scan? Hot water bottle or similar is usually nice for the pain along with whatever painkillers work for you, and if once the bleeding starts you find you’re filling a pad in less than an hour you’re to go to A&E.

OP posts:
Jetlaggedgirl · 02/02/2023 07:47

Thank you @Sunbird24 for your support. Thankfully although the pain was horrible all evening ( like a birth contraction but with none of the joy) it eased at 11:30pm and I was able to get some sleep which I feel much better for. Not sure how long this will last but will be able to ring EPU today x

CA91 · 03/02/2023 12:46

Hi everyone,
im new here! I’m so sorry to hear about your losses, it’s the worst feeling in the world!
my first pregnancy ended as a MMC at 13 weeks, the baby was only measuring 6 weeks at my 12 week scan, I had two failed medical treatments and then had surgery.
3 months later I fell pregnant and have a little boy who is now 1 and a half, I was anxious the whole pregnancy but soo happy I have my little boy, he is my world!
we decided to try for another and after 3 months I fell pregnant again, I booked a private scan at 9 weeks and found out I was having another missed miscarriage and the baby was only measuring to 7-8 weeks. I went straight for surgery this time after my previous history but the specialist could not operate due to my cervix being so hard and tilted, it was too dangerous. So I had medication for 2nd trimester miscarriage due to the failed treatments last time, which also failed but the dr thought they managed to remove the pregnancy with a speculum. 2 weeks later i was still testing positive so had a scan and there were three dark patches which they couldn’t tell me if they were remains or blood clots. I then was giving more medication which failed again and specialist doesn’t want to see me for another week, I have had no bleeding. This has been on going for four weeks now, I really don’t know what will happen as he is not keen to operate. Has anyone has any similar experience? Im just devastated and don’t really know what will happen, im still testing positive too 😭 sorry super long post!

38andtrying · 03/02/2023 13:03

CA91 · 03/02/2023 12:46

Hi everyone,
im new here! I’m so sorry to hear about your losses, it’s the worst feeling in the world!
my first pregnancy ended as a MMC at 13 weeks, the baby was only measuring 6 weeks at my 12 week scan, I had two failed medical treatments and then had surgery.
3 months later I fell pregnant and have a little boy who is now 1 and a half, I was anxious the whole pregnancy but soo happy I have my little boy, he is my world!
we decided to try for another and after 3 months I fell pregnant again, I booked a private scan at 9 weeks and found out I was having another missed miscarriage and the baby was only measuring to 7-8 weeks. I went straight for surgery this time after my previous history but the specialist could not operate due to my cervix being so hard and tilted, it was too dangerous. So I had medication for 2nd trimester miscarriage due to the failed treatments last time, which also failed but the dr thought they managed to remove the pregnancy with a speculum. 2 weeks later i was still testing positive so had a scan and there were three dark patches which they couldn’t tell me if they were remains or blood clots. I then was giving more medication which failed again and specialist doesn’t want to see me for another week, I have had no bleeding. This has been on going for four weeks now, I really don’t know what will happen as he is not keen to operate. Has anyone has any similar experience? Im just devastated and don’t really know what will happen, im still testing positive too 😭 sorry super long post!

I am so sorry to read this, it sounds horrendous, the waiting for it to be over is awfully hard. Women's healthcare is absolutely disgusting i think on NHS, im assuming its NHS? I think its awful its another week before they will see you considering how long it has alreadt been.

Have they no concern not only for your physical health but importantly your mental health.

i really hope things start for you and you pass whatever is left soon.

Again i am really sorry to read what you're going through x

CA91 · 03/02/2023 13:09

Thanks for your reply @38andtrying 💕
yep!! It’s the NHS! I’ve not seen the specialist since he gave me the medication (was given it in hospital taking it every 3 hours - 5 doses!) he was supposed to come see me with a plan if it wasn’t working but he ran off shift without seeing me! I haven’t seen him since, just been passed around by diff drs and midwife’s so I called and demanded he see’s me so he is going to see me Monday Aparantly to scan me but believes the conventional way is the best way?? Surely they can’t leave you with remains for over 4 weeks?! Really unsure what is going to happen, but it is mental torture 😭 xx

Sunbird24 · 03/02/2023 15:06

@CA91 i feel for you, had similar with my last MC. Was brought in pretty quickly for surgery due to previous haemorrhages, all went ok, except that they missed a bit - I passed a bit of something in the next week and thought that was it but a couple of months later I realised AF hadn’t come back so did another HPT and it turned out there was still more retained. Tried medication, had horrendous shivers but didn’t shift anything so ended up with a second surgery. Don’t panic about the length of time as long as someone is keeping an eye on you and you know the symptoms of infection. There should be no reason why they can’t operate a second time, my consultant said that was fine, and it did the trick for me. Hopefully you get somewhere on Monday! Flowers

OP posts:
Jetlaggedgirl · 05/02/2023 13:36

@CA91 hope you get a good plan tomorrow. I completely understand how you want this to be over now, that’s really unfair that you’re going through this for so long

i think tomorrow they are going to ask me if I want surgery under General or local anaesthetic. I’d like to research it a bit before I go in so I don’t have to make a decision on the spot. Does anyone know how they differ and if one is better than the other , either medically or personally: I’ve had a GA a few times so I don’t feel scared of them

Sunbird24 · 05/02/2023 14:55

@Jetlaggedgirl with my third MC I ended up having a procedure in an A&E cubicle with no medication except a saline drip and a codeine tablet - I won’t go into detail as it was pretty traumatic, but it was why I chose surgeries under GA the next 3 times, and they got me booked in asap without question. That was an emergency situation though and I imagine a planned procedure would be very much calmer. Some people want the closure of experiencing it, but after IVF and that one I couldn’t deal with being awake while yet more people did stuff down there. It was so much easier for me just to go to sleep and wake up with it over, and a nice nurse covering me in warm blankets, then getting me a cup of tea.

Theres no right or wrong decision here, just what you think will be physically and emotionally better for you.

OP posts:
Jetlaggedgirl · 05/02/2023 15:05

Oh gosh @Sunbird24 that sounds horrible . Also I’m sorry to read you’ve been through this so many times.

i have no need to experience anything if it’s painful . A warm blanket and a cup of tea is the answer. Plus I could do with the nap ;) thank you for your guidance

CA91 · 05/02/2023 16:31

Thanks @Sunbird24 really hoping they’ll just operate but I think the main issue is my tilted cervix but the first mmc they managed after I had been prepped with medication so fingers crossed!
@Jetlaggedgirl sorry your having to go through this, I had GA and I’m glad I did even waiting for the operation and all the drs and nurses surrounding me I was glad to be put to sleep! I had a speculum by a dr and he was pulling and proding me and I just felt really uncomfortable!

Phoenixwings1989 · 06/02/2023 10:34

Hi,

I had a MM last June.

I've found out yesterday I am pregnant again. My period didn't show at all, so thought I'd best test.

I have no symptoms hardly. Last time I had many and I'm comparing so many things to how it was then. I did a HCG strip, a Clearblue test and a digital. The digital showed I conceived two-three weeks ago which means I am four-five weeks. My period tracker app which also has a pregnancy tracker on it says I am five today and that makes me nervous.

When I went for a scan at the EPU they said I was only measuring 5 weeks when I should have been measuring eight. I'm trying to put it to the back of my mind but it's eating away at me. DH tells me to think positive, that everything will be fine this time but he doesn't know that for sure.

Sunbird24 · 06/02/2023 11:55

@Phoenixwings1989 sorry about your MC last year Flowers

Why are the EPU saying you should be 8 weeks when your period tracker says 5? That sounds very confusing for you! Honestly at this stage anything can happen, and I don’t believe it actually makes any difference to the outcome how positive you think. We all know how hard it is to just relax when you’ve had previous losses, but right now you are pregnant, so try and hold onto that. Fingers crossed you’ve got a sticky one in there 🤞

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