Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 6. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

If you’re going through this, you’re not alone. I’ll post some links to support organisations shortly, but feel free to post, or just read, whatever you need.

@Sunbird24 thanks for the new thread. It doesn't sound callous at all, it's a way of self preservation I think. Have the GP just said yours are down to bad luck? I've been looking into fertility testing but not really sure where to go as I know most are just basic fertility mots. I know I can get pregnant it's just seems to go wrong from there..x

Thanks for the new thread x

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4380452-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-5-ALL-welcome

Some resources for anyone who hasn’t already seen them:
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

Please add any others if you’ve seen/used anything I’ve missed!

That’s annoying, they were supposed to be clicky links

@calimc83 its likely an age thing with me, so egg quality. The sperm donor was tested for everything going and all negative, and nothing’s come up on any of the tests I’ve had - the consultant says my insides are ‘beautiful’ 😂

@calimc83 I’m so sorry for your 2nd loss. I’ve not long had my 1st pregnancy that resulted in miscarriage, and I’m so nervous for the same outcome next time. It’s horrible isn’t it. You loose all positivity around pregnancy. Fingers crossed it’ll be 3rd time lucky for you.

@41andtryingforfirst so sorry for you loss and that your having such a hard time with your mental health. Sending positivity for the future for you.

@Sunbird24 Thank you for the new thread. That’s so sad. I guess it’s a way of protecting yourself from further pain, If that’s even possible.
Beautiful insides haha, that’s good to know though. Hopeful for you!

Hi everyone.

Just joining as I've been trying to keep positive but having a bit of a bad day today. My story is I've had 3 miscarriages since February last year. Had some private tests and can't find a reason although they said I had mild pcos. I've also been for nk cells testing but annoyingly they were inconclusive as one showed really high and the other really low.

I've read It Starts with an Egg and an taking all bits in there. I have also tidied up my diet and exercising more. I have also gone gluten free as I have always suspected an intolerance due to it giving me digestive issues but my GP is crap and won't test for it 🙄

I'm 33 now and starting to panic and feel like my time is running out. I generally keep quite positive and just get in with it. But today is just one of those down days, you know?

@Sunbird24 at least your insides are beautiful! 😆 how old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm 39 so pretty convinced it's my egg quality as well. It doesn't seem like this can be improved though? I don't smoke and am reasonably healthy..x

@LaurenFM thanks for your kind words. It's so hard. I didn't expect another loss. I'm so sorry to hear your first pregnancy ended in loss. How long ago was your MC? X

@calimc83 I’m 44 now, was 42 when my eggs were collected but had AMH and follicle count comparable with several years younger. I got 16 eggs collected, 14 fertilised, and 8 made it to day 5. I’m now 6 down from 4 transfers (2 single and 2 double) and only 2 left. If neither work then I’m done, I don’t want to be any older than 45 giving birth (wouldn’t even be this old given the choice!) and I don’t want to use donor eggs as then there’s be no genetic link with family. If I was doing this with a partner and using his sperm I’d be ok with a donor egg, but because it’s just me it feels important that if I do manage to have a baby it has some biological connection to it’s relatives, otherwise I might as well have adopted. Does that make any sense?

@chasingtherainbow1 sorry to hear you're having a bad day. I've also really struggled today. It's coming up to 3 weeks since my 2nd MC. Who did you go through for your tests and what did they test?I'm looking into private tests now. I've also ordered a load of supplements and have just finished the same book. I really hope it helps..also I'm 39 so a lot older! Time is seriously running out for me 🙈😫 x

@chasingtherainbow1 im sorry you’re having a bad day, it is a bit of a roller coaster this journey isn’t it? If you’ve had 3 losses you should have been referred to a recurrent miscarriage clinic, plus you’re still young enough to get involved in a trial study that I think Tommys are doing related to endometritis - www.tommys.org/our-research/our-research-projects/miscarriage-research/cerm-can-doxycycline-prevent-miscarriage

Hang on in there, you’re not alone 💐

@Sunbird24 💯 that makes sense. Do you have another transfer booked in soon? Gosh it's hard isn't it. What I find difficult is the just not knowing why things go wrong. Have they offered you the pre embryo testing? X

@calimc83 we talked about it, but I don’t want to defrost them, mess with them, refreeze them to wait for results and then defrost again if either of them even turn out to be ok. Plus if the testing showed they were both bad then that’s it, game over. It’s also not definitely 100% accurate or a guarantee, so I’d rather just take my chances, even if I end up with another two losses. I’ve already survived that experience, so I know I could get through it again. I’m a glutton for punishment!

Oh, and I’m hoping for my next transfer at the end of June!

@calimc83 sorry to hear about your miscarriages too and that they were so recent. I hope you're doing ok. I went to a private hospital in Sheffield where I live. They tested for thyroid, blood clotting disorders, karyotyping, pcos, checked if I was ovulating regularly and also my FSH and LH. I'm hoping the supplements work, I've taken them for 3 months since my last miscarriage so hopefully will be able to see if it makes a difference if we get pregnant again.

@Sunbird24 thank you, it really is a rollercoaster! My nhs referral is still in place, been waiting since January but haven't heard anything yet. They said at least 6 months so I decided to go private. Thanks for the hint about the trial, I've not seen that one before. I will look into it ☺️

@Sunbird24 ahh ok. Yes that makes sense. In my desperate googling the night after my MC I was looking into it. My husband isn't keen on the idea of IVF as we wouldn't receive any funding and as you say, even if you have the tests done nothing is guaranteed is it? At the moment if we continue to try naturally I just feel like it's Russian roulette and whilst I know I can get through a MC it's knowing how much you can mentally take x

@Sunbird24 everything crossed for you for the end of June!! X

@chasingtherainbow1 oh you're not too far from me! I'm near Leeds. Which hospital was it? I've been looking at create fertility but couldn't see what I wanted. Those tests sound pretty thorough, did you need a GP referral? Hoping my supplements arrive tomorrow! Did you also cut our caffeine/plastics etc? X

@calimc83 thank you. It’s been 6 weeks since my medical misscarriage and just over 2 weeks since my d&c for retained tissue.
Finally have my negative pregnancy test so looking forward to trying again. Just hope my cycle comes back and we get another chance soon. But the uncertainty is so hard. I’m 32 next week and hoping by next year we’ll have some luck.
Sorry to hear you’ve had a bad day. I think it’s only in the last few weeks I’ve felt more myself but it’s so hard x

@chasingtherainbow1 so sorry for your 3 losses in such a short space of time too. Hang in there, you’ve been through so much. There will be bad days but hopefully lots of better ones will come your way soon. I must check out that book, anything that can help ay. Wishing you luck!

@calimc83 I was going to go there but decided to go with Thornbury hospital. The consultant is good but very abrupt. I guess sometimes that's better than sugarcoating things though. I didn't get a referral I just called them up to enquire and next thing I knew I was booked in for next week. I think it helped give me focus after the 3rd miscarriage. I have been cutting out caffeine and alcohol for a while but I've not cut plastics out. I think I just feel like, can it really change that much? Maybe I'll try make more of an effort to reduce exposure.

@LaurenFM sorry for your loss too. That's good that you finally have a negative test, I remember that being one of the most frustrating parts when you want to move on. Thanks for your kind words! Yeah it's good for an idea on what supplements you need

@chasingtherainbow1 it’s mad isn’t it going from longing to see a positive test to then looking for a negative one just so you can try to move forward. Hope you find something that does help soon. I’ve been taking the usual vitamin d, folic acid and Agnus cactus but I will definitely give it a read thanks :)

@LaurenFM ahh it's not been too long for you either. Have u decided to try again with your next cycle? I think what I've found especially hard is I felt like this pregnancy helped me get over the last MC to an extent. All for it to then come crashing down.
@chasingtherainbow1 I need to cut down more on the wine and caffeine, but it's so hard. And the sugar 😬..thank you, I'll have a look at that. I think I like the idea of abrupt tbh. No beating around the bush! Will they carry out the tests straight after your MC or do they advise you to wait? I feel like if I go ahead with them I'm taking a bit of control back x

@calimc83 Going to try on my next cycle. I feel like I’d rather not waste any time. And they say your more fertile after a mc, I’m not sure how true that is but hoping it’s true.
I completely understand that, as I think that’s why I’m so desperate to try again. It’s horrible for the future to be so uncertain.
Hard to cut down on nice things when life sucks already isn’t it ha x