Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

@SnookyPook That's a relief that they have been able to rule out ectopic and that everything will hopefully now come to an end naturally. I hope that it doesn't take too long - look after yourself. ❤

@PADonk @CluelessInLondon thank you both, I know it's getting there, just a horrible wait isn't it! I did an OPK today - it couldn't be more blank if it tried 😂 at least something is testing negative for me, shame it's the wrong bloody one 🙈

Is it too early for wine? Asking for a friend..

@SnookyPook ah that’s brilliant news, you must be so relieved. And well done on managing to get there on your due date, that must’ve been rough xxx

@ThelastRolo20 i think the rule is if you make it a mimosa with some juice, or just chuck it in a mug, it’s never too early 🥂

@ThelastRolo20 As my FIL always says, it's 5 o'clock somewhere. 😂

I started doing OPKs before I got my negative pregnancy test - think they were messed up by the HCG still being there, but the day after I got my negative pregnancy test (3 weeks after surgery) I had a really noticeably higher OPK result. Don't know if I actually did ovulate or was just trying to, as it spiked and then dropped quite quickly, but you might see something similar. Hopefully that helps give some reassurance!

@CluelessInLondon oh god absolutely it's 5pm somewhere! I have been doing the odd OPK and they've all been blank so luckily my hormones haven't been messing them up.

The moment I get a blank test I'm letting you all know x

@SnookyPook im glad you don’t have to get the medication! I was at the EPU today. My HCG went from 207 to 232, so not massively higher, so they’re wanting to wait until Thursday to see if it’s higher, if it is they will give me the methotrexate and if it’s getting lower I just have to go in every couple of days for more bloods until my levels are below 10! Mine is still a pregnancy of unknown location so they still have to treat it as a suspected ectopic! On the bright side I got a bed while I waited the 4 hours for the bloods to come back! But back on Thursday for the same thing all over again

@Jess1997 sorry you're still in limbo a bit, hopefully they're falling by Thursday so you can avoid the medication.

Hope you're feeling okay x

Sorry to hear that ..

We had an early miscarriage in Sept

Hcg was down quite fast though

One day @ a time

@worldwidetravel2017 i started miscarrying nearly 3 weeks ago but my HCG has been slowly rising! 2 weeks ago it was 40 and now it’s 232 so they’re just trying to figure out why! Sucks but I just have to be patient

I was diagnosed with MMC last week ar 12 week scan. Confirmation scan due end of this week. I have been getting quite severe cramps for a couple of days and various unpleasant pains in my tummy. Does this meet my body is preparing to let go of this pregnancy soon?

@Longbarn5 so sorry to hear the news. If you don't mind me asking why are you having another scan later this week? Is there something they're unsure about?

It may well be your body getting ready - it does at some point realise what's happened and do what it needs to do x

@Longbarn5 I'm sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. The wait for the second scan really feels interminable. It sounds like your body might be getting ready to pass the pregnancy - if that doesn't happen you will be able to get advice on management options at the scan. Look after yourself. ❤

Hi all. Just after a hand hold really. I am so scared at the moment and I have no idea what to do.

I was diagnosed with Pregnancy of unknown location on the 11th. Had two sets of bloods taken and they said HCG and progesterone was going down and that as they think it's probably a miscarriage with potential for ectopic (I was 11 weeks 2 days and a missed miscarriage). They discharged me and said I didn't need to come back and to take a pregnancy test in 10 days. It's still positive and i'm still bleeding (though the worst of it was in the first week when I spent a day sobbing in the bathroom as more blood and stuff came out).
I'm still bleeding now but I have really acute pain (which only started in the last three days) and I'm so scared to call the EPU again. I have tricky veins so it's difficult to take blood from me and the whole thing was just so traumatising. I just want to cry everytime I even think about calling them but I'm also so scared.

A part of me is trying to convince myself that this terrible terrible pain is either a stomach bug or the uterus just contracting back. I just want to cry all the time. The pain is sometimes so bad i can't move but then it's just gone and I wonder if this is all a bad nightmare. Sorry for long post, i just feel in such despair

@w1azrdingabout12345 I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds so difficult and scary.

I know it's tough getting bloods taken but do call them, even just to get reassurance that everything going through is normal. How was the rest of your night? Xx

@w1azrdingabout12345 I’m so sorry, for the loss of your pregnancy and for the physical ordeal you’re in. I can hear how exhausted and scared you are. I’d say that new pain should be checked out - they may want to do a high vaginal swab, or they may just give antibiotics to cover in case of infection. You won’t necessarily need a blood test. If there is any infection you’ll feel a million times better on abx. I know first hand how totally draining and consuming the experience can be - though I actually don’t think I realised at the time, consciously, how affected I was. Sending strength - you will get through this.

thank you so much @ThelastRolo20 @Oxalis00 your words made me cry this morning. It's really hard to try and over all the emotions of it all when the pain is just so much.

I'll pick up the courage to call them, thank you for your kind words. Big hugs.

@w1azrdingabout12345 I am so sorry to hear what you're going through at the moment, it must be very frightening and confusing. Please do call the EPU to get some advice on what to do next. Good luck and let us know how you are getting on.

@SnookyPook I'm so sorry you're in this position again but glad you don't have to take the medication. I'm always so impressed with the way you're able to have such a positive outlook, you're a real inspiration.

@w1azrdingabout12345 I'm so sorry for your loss and what you're going through. I hope you can get some support from the EPU today and it all goes smoothly.

@CluelessInLondon Congrats on your period (definitely not a sentence I thought I'd be saying 😅), that's great news. Are you planning on starting to try in this cycle?

I'm still really up and down. Found it really hard having my period last week but feeling a bit better this week. I have the GP today as a sort of check up and I have a list of questions for him. I'm also asking for a blood test and am hoping I don't need to fight for it. I'm having to go alone as my husband is away for work until the end of the week. Just feeling a bit vulnerable I think.

@Bugdem123 Yep, back to TTC for me this cycle - if I'd been in this position a couple of years ago I would probably have decided to take a break for 2-3 months, enjoy Christmas etc. and then start again, but I'm just so conscious that time isn't on my side so I'd rather just crack on again straight away. It's quite mixed feelings though - it sort of feels good as it's something more positive to focus on, but there's also the worry about going through the same thing again, and almost a sense of guilt as if I'm forgetting about the baby I lost. I guess all we can do is give it another go and see what happens though, so I'm trying not to get too crazy over it (let's see how that turns out in a couple of weeks' time!).

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling a bit - it's all such a big emotional rollercoaster, isn't it? I feel as though I was really naive in thinking I would be feeling lots better by now. I hope your GP appointment goes okay and you get the answers and tests that you're looking for.

@Bugdem123 will be thinking of you and I hope you manage to get answers

@SnookyPook you are also in my thoughts. Virtual hugs- I was following this thread for the last week

Just a update; with all of your support I finally called the EPU. A huge thank you as without all of your encouragement I think I would have just buried my head in the sand and tried to pretend this wasn't happening to me, so thank you.
EPU have arranged a scan for tomorrow morning. They told me to test for pregnancy (which is sadly still showing as pregnant three weeks later although it is faint!). Out of all the bad options my best hope is for a infection but worse option is ectopic I think for me at this stage.

Thank you all. I couldn't have done today without you all.

Totally can relate to those who have had a miscarriage/ loss and the fear of that happening again
We want to try again in November
I bought a book after our early miscarriage - pregnancy after loss ..

I used to work as a career nanny
Gave so much of my time // working life to other peoples children / families - - just so so badly want my own

Sending hugs , listening ears and positive vibes to all those who need it

4 a number of reasons - i start counselling today

@w1azrdingabout12345 Glad you've spoken to EPU and got the scan booked - keeping fingers crossed for you that you get some reassurance and understanding of what's going on tomorrow.

@worldwidetravel2017 Good luck for the counselling, I hope it goes well for you and that it helps you navigate this emotional minefield. ❤

@w1azrdingabout12345 so sorry for your loss my lovely, and glad that the ladies on this thread gave you the courage to call EPU. I hope the scan tomorrow goes as well as possible and lays some fears to rest for you. However, whatever it is, it is best to know about it so they can treat you accordingly. Sending a big hand hold and hug your way - and thank you for your kind words.

Thanks everyone for your support. It's been a surreal couple of days. Bleeding properly now and feeling very odd about it all.

@SnookyPook it's good your body is doing what it needs to, but it's always mixed emotions when you bleed. Hope you're okay

@w1azrdingabout12345 do glad you have a scan in the morning, I hope it brings you some answers and a plan for moving on (physically at least for now) xx

This thread really is just the most supportive thing ever - it is also however jam packed so apologies if I miss anyone.

@w1azrdingabout12345 well done for mustering the courage, it was clearly terrifying so I hope you’re giving yourself massive credit. Don’t be scared to let them know at any point if you’re feeling anxious / need a bit of extra support or patience. Everything crossed it goes well xx

@worldwidetravel2017 best of luck with the counselling, it’s a really commendable thing to recognise when you need support and ask for it

@CluelessInLondon the guilt is absolutely killer, just want you to know you’re definitely not alone there. I don’t think I’ve even had a proper cry about this one - just hyper focussed on trying again but that in itself is a coping mechanism. We just need to do whatever helps us heal the best, and if that’s getting pregnant again asap then there’s nothing wrong with that xx

@Bugdem123 how did your appointment go? I hope they were helpful. I have definitely found the not automatically being able to get tested until you have multiple mcs the hardest bit - it’s such a cruel policy

@Longbarn5 @Jess1997 best of luck for your scans, keep us posted with how you get on xx