Someone please hold my hand and just be there for comfort

[SeekingAdvice111]

I had an ectopic pregnancy which I had an op for, but unfortunately my hcg kept on rising and it turns out that i had leftover tissue which reattached itself and found new blood supply. My hcg went from 6000 to 1000 then back up to 3000 again. I ended up having to be hospitalised again and administered methotrexate to try and stop it growing and to avoid surgery as I also had significant free fluid/blood in my abdomen which I had a scan a couple of days ago and my body has absorbed it. They was concerned it was a rupture but as I had no pain and I was well in myself and my blood counts came back normal, they said it was unlikely.

I've had my blood test done and they want to see at least 15% decrease but I'm not hopeful I'm afraid. I don't know what to think really... sometimes I feel like I want to just top myself :( I know it sounds really morbid but honestly I don't know how much more I can take. This is my second ectopic pregnancy now and I've had enough. If anyone has had experience with methotrexate, please can you advise me... will it all be over soon?

❤️ @SeekingAdvice111 I'm here. I am so sorry you are going through this.

I don't have any experience with methotrexate but have just had my second missed miscarriage so can relate to your feelings of loss.

Do you have anyone in real life who you can talk to? My experience is the hospital is pretty crap at communicating what will happen.

I recently called Tommy's and spoke to a midwife, that was really helpful. I'd recommend giving them a call 0800 014 7800

Sending love, be kind to yourself xx

So sorry to hear this @SeekingAdvice111

As you know from my thread I've just been through ectopic surgery but they didn't ask me to retest or ask me back for any follow up so I assume it was all finished

I really hope the drug works for you

When are you having your next blood test?

Offering a hand and a hug ..

Hi Hun @sadsack123 I was replying to your thread but Mumsnet crashed! I will re write it again once I am done writing this one up (please don't crash...)

My bloods have come back and have gone from 3400 to 2420 in 7 days which they said is brilliant news as it takes 4-5 days for the methotrexate to start working (my levels did rise slightly on day 4 of methotrexate) but I have to have my bloods done weekly now until they're down to 0. Not out of the woods completely but I can still rest, knowing it is heading in the right direction.

If you had a tubal ectopic pregnancy and had a sapingectomy, you will not need follow up as the pregnancy is located in that area and would have definitely been removed. My ectopic was very rare (cornual) hence there's always a chance tissue is going to remain and that's why I also had to have methotrexate and weekly follow ups. My levels was over 6000 when I had surgery. I saw the baby right in the upper corner of my uterus. It had no heartbeat and they said chances are it never would have as my betas was slowly rising anyway :(

Off to answer your thread now!

@VenusStarr thank you lovely and I am so sorry about your second miscarriage. That's so heartbreaking :( are they going to give you tests or anything to find out why it is happening? I will definitely look at Tommy's. We need all the support we can get! Massive hugs xxx

Hand hold from here too. I had recurrent miscarriages including one late missed miscarriage but thankfully never an ectopic. That's great that your levels are dropping. I can't remember offhand how long you have to wait after methotrexate to try again but I hope that you eventually have a successful pregnancy.

Sending you a hug lass.

I've had methotrexate but in my case it didn't work and i ruptured anyway but I'm just unlucky!

I know it feels like the process won't ever be over but sounds like at least your hcg is dropping

Just be aware that MTX is a nasty drug and you mustn't try to get pregnant for 3 months after the injection as it can cause miscarriage and birth defects. It can also make you feel pretty crappy and tired for weeks after and can also affect your liver so you might feel rubbish if you have a drink for a couple of months!