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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Did you need time off after an op for mmc?

24 replies

MrsBobDylan · 31/05/2017 19:07

I've opted for surgical management for my mmc on Monday. Would anyone mind sharing with me if they needed time away from work afterwards and if so, how long please? Stupidly it was the one question I didn't ask yesterday but I wasn't really functioning at all.

OP posts:

Bubble77bee · 31/05/2017 19:12

Sorry I can't answer, but I'll be interested in the answers too as I am going through the same on Monday. Sorry to hear you are going through this too.

TeenagersandFurbabies · 31/05/2017 19:24

When I had surgery after my miscarriage I took 2 weeks off work, physically I didn't need 2 weeks but mentally I did as I worked in a pre-school at the time and there were lots of pregnant mum's and very young babies.

Original poster

MrsBobDylan · 31/05/2017 19:28

So sorry for you Bubble - I saw your other thread and that you found out at your 12 week scan. It's so shit isn't it? This is my third MC but the others were before 12 weeks. I have pulled my stomach muscles from crying so hard when they told me which is crazy really.

Hope it all goes well on Monday. Will be good to get it over with I guess.

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thuslyitwas · 31/05/2017 19:29

Hi I went straight back to work which was a mistake as I hadn't dealt with the emotional trauma. It took quite a while for me to realise quite how badly I was impacted by the mmc. I ended up off work for about three months- I had quite a few complications after the surgery and it just broke me emotionally. I'm sorry for your loss. Try to take the time you need.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 31/05/2017 19:29

I mc at 8 weeks at work. .
Just carried on as normal and and no time off.
Personal choice how you cope I suppose. .

Original poster

MrsBobDylan · 31/05/2017 19:32

I have seen nothing but babies and pregnant women today teenagers. I think you did the right thing, especially given where you work.

I'm meant to work tomorrow and Friday and physically there is no reason I can't, but I do wonder how I will manage emotionally.

I sort of feel like I don't want to tell my manager but maybe I should. It all feels like a big bag of shitty shit right now.

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littlepooch · 31/05/2017 19:32

I've always had time off work. Not so much because physically I needed it but because mentally and emotionally I needed time to try and come to terms with what happened. My most recent MC I needed surgery and I felt pretty wiped and drained after thinking about it - just wanted to sleep and sleep when I got home.

I'm so sorry you are going through this x

Hoppinggreen · 31/05/2017 19:33

Sorry for your loss
I took a week off, physically I probably could have gone back after 3 days but emotionally I really wasnt up to it

Babymamamama · 31/05/2017 19:34

When I had my ERPC I stayed off work for a week. I didn't really need the time for physical recovery it was more for the emotional side effects. My GP was very nice and signed me off with "Gynae procedure" and said he didn't expect my employer would need any further info. They didn't. So take the time you need OP.

Original poster

MrsBobDylan · 31/05/2017 19:41

That sounds really hard thusly. I had a medically managed MC in Dec and it wasn't too bad in terms of the physical side but I don't feel I can do all that again and just want the whole thing 'done' for me if that doesn't sound too awful?

This is my 3rd MC and I will have completed all the options, MC naturally, medically and via an op, after this one. I think the thing that hits me hardest is that I just thought this one was viable. I paid for a private scan at 7 weeks and there was a strong hb and it measured exactly for dates. When I looked at the screen I could see it wasn't right and I just started howling.

We are done now as my dh doesn't want to try again and I need to accept that there will not be another baby.

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Original poster

MrsBobDylan · 31/05/2017 19:46

Thanks littlepooch, babymama and hopping. God, MC just sucks...I'm grateful for your advice re:time off, think I was thinking purely of the physical recovery and forgetting about the emotional side. I will make a more realistic plan.

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harrietm87 · 31/05/2017 19:50

I had an MVA (erpc but with local rather than general anaesthetic) 6 weeks ago. I had a day off work for the procedure and had planned to go in the next day, but ended up taking it off really for emotional reasons as physically I was fine. I'm glad I did and wish I could have had longer.

My other 2 mcs were natural and early and I had no time off. I work in a high pressure environment where no one picks up the slack so I just store up trouble for myself the more I'm off.

harrietm87 · 31/05/2017 19:51

Ps I'm so sorry for your loss. My third hit me the worst as well. Good luck with the procedure.

Original poster

MrsBobDylan · 31/05/2017 19:58

Thanks harriet I wish they had offered me the choice of a local anaesthetic, I'm a bit scared of the general.

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thuslyitwas · 31/05/2017 20:25

Quite frankly it was a nightmare. Found out at 11 week scan abc ended up having to google what the heck was happening as sonographer just said this is what we see at six weeks. No further explanation. Ushered out the door, completely bewildered and no idea what to do next. My EPU were quite unhelpful in lots of ways and that contributed I think. I ended up paying to see private consultant and to have the op completed. Then I just broke. I'm so sorry to hear of your difficulties. I'm also not going to have another baby now so was another thing to get my head round. This is all heartbreaking stuff. I hope you find the strength you need in the coming days. Xx

Original poster

MrsBobDylan · 31/05/2017 20:46

Oh crikey thusly, it's at a time like that when you need them to be really, really clear. I didn't like my sonographer-she made me cry twice before I was even scanned. She kept complaining about how hot the room was all while I was getting more and more worried and told me my notes were a mess, as if I sodding well cared.

The epu were good, but dh had to get off to pick up our dc so I did it alone and just wanted to get it booked and over with.

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GreedyDuck · 01/06/2017 07:53

I'm so sorry you're going through this again MrsBob, I had a mmc at the same time as you in Dec, and lost another baby recently (anomalies discovered at dating scan).

I had an MVA in Dec, and found it pretty uncomfortable (although quick), but as I was further along this time and the memory was still fresh I opted for an ERPC this time. It was fine. I too was worried about having a GA, but it's a very light one and the op only takes half an hour (loads of waiting around before and afterwards though).

I am still off work, and will have been off for about nine weeks by the time I go back. After my previous two mmcs I've gone back after a week/two weeks, but this time I've been off since my dating scan - it was just too upsetting as we were in limbo for a fortnight and facing the prospect of tfmr. Also, coming so quickly after my last mc, and I'm 43, this looks like the possible end of the ttc road for me - so many issues.

After my ERPC I initially felt relieved that it was all over, but then the emotional side always takes a while to catch up I find. I would take it easy and plan for maybe at least a week off, possibly more.

Really sorry to see you here again.

AppalazianWalzing · 01/06/2017 08:06

I had one last Wednesday, went a k to work Monday. I had to leave early Monday and tbh would have stayed off till mid-week if there weren't important deadlines this week.

I actually felt quite well Thursday and Friday but a bit knocked out from the general but on Saturday I went out and ended up bleeding again - I'm still bleeding- and feeling incredibly light headed. Left work early Monday and Tuesday, and came in a bit late- I'm physically taking longer than I thought, emotionally I'm ok. I've bought iron tablets and wish I started taking them sooner: I was bleeding a week before the procedure, and feel like I've probably lost a reasonable amount of blood. They signed me off for two full weeks so I think the expectation is definitely not that you go back the next day.

ImaLannister · 01/06/2017 08:32

I took 2 weeks, that was after a natural miscarriage. I was booked in for D&C but naturally miscarried in the early hours on the morning of my appointment! Sod's law 😩. Heavy bleeding calmed down after 5 days. I took time off because I wasn't mentally ready to go back. Not sure how it works with the D&C, as it's all removed for you.
I'd take some time off to recover, mentally and physically.
Hope your ok and sorry to hear it too.

tabithaa · 01/06/2017 08:36

I went into hospital on the Saturday and was back at work the Monday. I should have took time off, my head was all over the place and work was even more added stress for me which resulted in abusing alcohol for a while.

So sorry for your loss 🌺

DancingUnicorn · 01/06/2017 09:06

I had surgery on the Monday. Went back to work Thursday as I had an important meeting. I had to come home after a few hours of Friday. Wish I'd just taken the whole week off. I'm so sorry for your losses. ❤️

Original poster

MrsBobDylan · 01/06/2017 12:43

greedyduck I had seen with sadness what you have been through again recently, I'm so very sorry. I'm 43 too and my dh has said no to trying again but at the moment I feel as though I'd like to keep it as an option if only to delay dealing with some of the emotions (sticking head in sand my preferred coping technique!).

I'm in work today and tomorrow but I'm going to talk to HR now and tell them that I will see how I go after monday but that I expect I will need time off.

Thanks to all of you who have shared with me, it is such a terrible feeling of loss and I'm grateful that you have helped me make a more realistic plan for next week.

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Misssmoo · 01/06/2017 19:26

I had a week off after mine in April and as previous people posts was more emotional reasons....having a bad day today all I have thought about is that I would be 23 weeks now ...good luck hope all goes well xxx

DonkeySix · 01/06/2017 23:51

I've had an ERPC today and just asked for a note for work, the doctor came straight back with a two week note. I had a previous mmc five years ago and was off for three weeks. As others have said, the emotional after effects were worse than the physical in both cases. The requirements of your role and others' expectations of you and whether you feel you'll have enough workplace support should factor in too. Everyone deals with grief differently, take as long as you feel you need, don't rush back or feel pressurised to return before you're ready. You're allowed to be selfish! Be kind to yourself xx

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