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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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How to tell my friend?

28 replies

ShebaShimmyShake · 06/06/2015 19:35

Hi all. I'm lucky enough to be 12 weeks pregnant and ready to start announcing the news. But a very close friend of mine, I am sorry to say, has had four miscarriages - two nearly killed her and she is facing the possibility of a hysterectomy. Obviously I need to tell her but how can I do it as sensitively as possible? I thought I might text her while she is at home (we work together), so she doesn't feel she has to act all happy for me and can react with her husband however she wants, and say something like, "Hi darling, it's me, I have some news. I'm so sorry for the terrible timing, but I am 12 weeks pregnant. Now you know, we don't need to discuss it further. As ever, I'm always here when you need me. xxx"

I think if I were in her situation, that's probably how I'd prefer it to be done. Although I have never miscarried, I had a little difficulty conceiving and this was how I preferred to be told when someone was expecting.

What do you think?

OP posts:
KittyandTeal · 09/06/2015 08:36

I'm so glad for you both. I'm absolutely sure your attitude to her will have effected her mood and feelings. You really are a wonderful friend.

I can totally understand her not wanting you to treat her differently.

I've also realised I've not said congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope it goes well for you

ShebaShimmyShake · 09/06/2015 17:37

Thank you again all. Thumb, I love it - belly dance is largely about celebrating femininity in all its forms, every shape, every age, every stage of life. Not entirely, though, because there are some wonderful male belly dancers - look up Jamil and Ozgen :)

Thank you Kitty, and I hope everything works out well for you too x

OP posts:
Trooperslane · 12/06/2015 11:45

Kitty's in a similar situation as me.

I'd appreciate the text too so I could compose myself for the next time I saw you.

Congrats OP.

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