Bad luck is my middle name. Now is my last chance

[Ponygirl3]

hi there everyone x
Just a little background info on me. I lost twins through miscarriage in June 2013 then got pregnant again straight after I then had an ectopic pregnancy in September the pregnancy was growing in my tube and it was not known to me so when it ruptured and I bled internally nearly loosing my life I woke in a daze after surgery realising I had not just lost baby number 3 but also half my organs. The damage was so bad I had my whole right tube and ovary removed :(
Traumatised and manically depressed, suicidal I went on the implant to prevent anymore emotional earthquakes happening to me.
Now almost two years on I am recovered and getting on with my life again I still grieve but it's just part of my routine.
Anyway my implant is coming out in the next three weeks and I'm going to try for another baby. I'm absolutely terrified after all the horrific events I've been through I feel like my remaining tube is like playing Russian roulette with my body and I'm petrified of having another ectopic or loosing another baby I think it would destroy me.
I'd just like some advice should I just go for it and try for another baby? It's all I want and even if I could only have one it would make my life complete
Thankyou for listening xxxxx

Hi Pony

I'm so sorry to read your post, for your losses and the trauma you've suffered

Only you can decide when it's the right time to try again and it will depend on your age, health and circumstances.

My husband and are finally 16 weeks pregnant after six years of trying with years of unexplained infertility, two miscarriages at 10 weeks and one very early pregnancy loss.

I'm fortunate that I haven't had an ectopic but have had lots of gynaecological operations and complications that left me very thin, ill, despondent and devoid of hope along the way. Somehow though I kept on fighting and it finally looks like that may be paying off.

I guess what I'm saying is that if it's your dream to be a mum then you shouldn't give up, or you'll only regret it in the future. We women are incredible and you'll amaze everyone with your strength and dignity as you fight for your baby.

From a practical perspective I would suggest you invest in some private health care if you can afford it such as a consultation with a specialist, extra scans after your bfp, acupuncture to help you relax and maybe some counselling sessions. I found all these things to be a god send on my journey.

Feel free to pm me anytime if you want to chat. It's hard when people we know don't identify with the hard journey but I understand and heart goes out to you. XxX

What a lovely post catlover

Thankyou catlover

That is exactly what I think I may do because I feel it would be useful. I'm worried but I'm sure if it comes to some private care I can be reassured. My doctors right now aren't brilliant and I've lost a little faith in them.

But yes I am stubborn as a mule so I will keep trying lol
Xxx

Hi ponygirl. Everything catlover says is absolutely right, and I agree it's a lovely post. I am pregnant again after 3 miscarriages, a molar pregnancy, and I had a massive haemorrhage after the birth of dd 1, and am very lucky to be here. Dd 2 has a very serious and rare genetic condition. I know I am lucky to have my children, but it was important v to us to try for a third. I have seen so many consultants, had many tests, and I am beng very well looked after.

I think the best advice I can give you is to follow your heart, get as much medical and emotional support as you can, and to be as positive as you can be. I always think it's best to make a decision based on the hope of a better life, than one based on fear. Often, it's the things we don't do in life that we look back on wistfully and with regret, and i try to think that i will run with the opportunities I get.

I hope this helps, and wish you the best of luck x

So sorry for everything you've been through, life can be so unfair
After an ectopic you will be very closely monitored, and have scans from 6 weeks to make sure everything's growing where it should be. So the risks of that are much reduced.
Good luck x