My feed

to access all these features

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

If you don't want to tell your boss you're having a miscarriage....

17 replies

ecuse · 30/03/2014 18:52

... but need to email in a reason why you a) will miss important meetings tomorrow, b) will try to wfh but may not be terribly productive and c) are not sure when you will next be in...

...what excuse do you use?

That sounds 'serious' enough that they realise you're not taking the piss, but without giving the game away.

I will tell him of necessary, and he will be sympathetic and fine, but I am in line for promotion and I don't ideally want it to be known that I'm TTC.

OP posts:
MeepMeepVroooom · 30/03/2014 18:55

A personal medical emergency?

I used this when I had my first miscarriage and nobody questioned it, second time I need signed off so had to tell them.

I'm sorry for your loss Thanks

stargirl1701 · 30/03/2014 18:56

A gynae emergency. Most people will not enquire further.

Thinking of you Thanks

AuditAngel · 30/03/2014 18:59

I'm sorry for your loss. "Women's troubles" usually has them quaking.

LadyCybilCrawley · 30/03/2014 19:00

"I am very sorry for the inconvenience. I have an urgent family emergency. I will ensure that I catch up on any missed work and that I don't miss any deadlines/quotas/whatever relevant measurement. Again I am sorry for the disruption - I expect to be back at work on x day"

LadyCybilCrawley · 30/03/2014 19:01

If a woman told me she had a personal medical emergency I would immediately assume miscarriage

So sorry for your loss

MyNameIsKenAdams · 30/03/2014 19:04

Dear X,
A medical emergency has arisen such that I am unable to come to work today. Please note, I am seeking medical attention and will be in touch by the end of the day to up date you.


mellicauli · 30/03/2014 19:11

I would do a "misdiagnosis"..terrible stomach cramps..think it might be norovirus...don't are not well.

Chottie · 30/03/2014 19:15

I would also say a personal medical emergency too. Do not say you will work from home, don't put yourself under any more pressure.

So sorry to read your post, I hope everything goes as well as it could possibly go for you (unMN hug).

confuddledDOTcom · 30/03/2014 19:19

Get yourself a sicknote. GPs tend to be very creative about the excuses they put on notes for personal problems, I remember mine putting "general sickness" or something like that so I didn't have to tell my employer I was in the middle of a bad depression.

Don't push yourself to do anything, I barely got out of bed for a few days.

13Stitches · 30/03/2014 19:23

No advice, but huge hugs ecuse. (You know me, I've just NCd) x

ecuse · 30/03/2014 20:27

thanks all. I guess I am worried that if I'm as formally vague as 'personal/medical emergency' then it looks a bit obvious but perhaps I'm overthinking it.

OP posts:
ecuse · 30/03/2014 20:29

just cross posted with lots of you. You're lovely, thank you xx

OP posts:
ImAThrillseekerHoney · 30/03/2014 20:32

Unfortunately I think a clued up boss might well guess if you say personal medical emergency, especially if you say gynae. I think that would be my pencilled in guess for a married woman of that age.

I said I had food poisoning, which was a flat lie, but worked. (Actually I rang my deputy and told him the truth but to tell my boss it was food poisoning).

Very best of luck for the future Thanks.

GlaikitFizzog · 30/03/2014 20:42

Oh ecuse, I'm so sorry. Medical emergency should be fine. But don't say you'll try to WFH, you don't need to be superwoman.

I would be tempted to just tell them the truth though, if you can face it.

((((Big hugs for you))))

Kittycatcat · 30/03/2014 22:05

Hugs for you lovely.

NomDeClavier · 31/03/2014 06:59

So sorry, ecuse. Big hugs :(

I would also tend towards a misdiagnosis - stomach cramps or similar - then you could truthfully say you will seek medical attention etc and get your GP to be suitably vague with the note.

Don't WFH. Go to bed with a hot water bottle and take care of yourself.

YuccanLiederHorticulture · 31/03/2014 07:11

Don't attempt to wfh. Look after yourself. Phone in and say diahorrea/vomiting/norovirus and take as long as you need to be able to face the world again.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.